|
|
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,057
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,057 |
I'm not exactly sure what triggered me. It seems like everything in the marital home triggers me. She left everything behind. She only took clothes and a few kids pictures and some furniture. Everything else is here. I had to take her pictures down and put her clothes in the garage. I'm not used to being alone. Even when I have the kids, I still feel alone. They are great and keep me busy, but it's not the same without her here.
It doesn't help when she says to find someone better and I deserve to find someone willing to give me what I want and need. She says she's a dime a dozen. I don't like hearing those things. Wayward talk just drives me crazy.
Me: BH 36 Her: WW 34 Kids: D 14, S 12, S 9 DDay 1-6/2009 DDay 2-9/2011 DDay 3-11/2011 Filed for D 10/2011-Papers Served 11/2011 Divorce final May 24, 2012 My Story
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 146
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 146 |
I'm not exactly sure what triggered me. It seems like everything in the marital home triggers me. She left everything behind. She only took clothes and a few kids pictures and some furniture. Everything else is here. I had to take her pictures down and put her clothes in the garage. I'm not used to being alone. Even when I have the kids, I still feel alone. They are great and keep me busy, but it's not the same without her here.
It doesn't help when she says to find someone better and I deserve to find someone willing to give me what I want and need. She says she's a dime a dozen. I don't like hearing those things. Wayward talk just drives me crazy. My WW left a ton of stuff at the house when she left too. It is weird how some insignificant object can set me off. It was a fridge magnet the other day. Right in the trash. WW sent some stuff back with the kids in a box the last time they were over her place. The box was one of the ones she used to move out with. I used the box to start a fire last earlier this week. I tell some of my family or friends that I don't want to and don't like being alone. They will often tell me that I am not alone, I have the kids with me. Not the same. I have heard similar things from my WW... That I deserve to be married to someone who loves me. She told me a while back that I should even start dating!?!
me BS 38
WS 36
DS 5
DD 3
D-day 8/16/11
Begin plan A 9/22/11
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,057
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,057 |
My WW told me to start dating as well. I think it's their way of giving them an excuse to tell us that they would have come home if we didn't date someone else. Or gives them more excuses to use against us. It's all fog babble. People always say the wrong things because they aren't in the same boat we are in. I've heard "you'll be ok." or "she doesn't deserve you." Some times I wonder why people even talk.
Last edited by GJM; 01/13/12 04:40 PM.
Me: BH 36 Her: WW 34 Kids: D 14, S 12, S 9 DDay 1-6/2009 DDay 2-9/2011 DDay 3-11/2011 Filed for D 10/2011-Papers Served 11/2011 Divorce final May 24, 2012 My Story
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 3,786
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 3,786 |
My WH took barely anything from our 4000 sq.ft home. I was shocked by what he left behind.
I was also told to go date to get over him. I was told to take my wedding ring off.
It makes no sense to me either. I guess they use it to justify their actions or something.
GJM we are in the exact same boat. My WH and his OW broke up but my WH still won't come home to fix the marriage. I think it is because they don't want to be accountable to us.
My WH hates me today. She dumped him five months ago and he is still mad and blaming it on my EXPOSURE.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 3,686
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 3,686 |
PI, if you don't mind...er, what's your previous UN? I know I know you but I can't remember how.
/tj
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 3,786
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 3,786 |
Karma it was itistoughlove.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,156
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,156 |
I've heard "you'll be ok." or "she doesn't deserve you." Some times I wonder why people even talk. Wow...8 years later and I actually just got triggered by that last sentence. In my situation, I was raising her child as my own, and couldn't have loved him more if he were my own flesh and blood. After the dust had settled, and I was still miserable (and still am if the truth be told) over losing him, people were always saying stupid crap like "but he wasn't even yours" or "this'll just give you a chance to start your own real family". I remember thinking the exact same thing. It really showed just how cruel and insensitive people can really be. Thankfully, I had the sense to eradicate all those people from my life. I know exactly how you are feeling. Hang in there bro.
Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,057
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,057 |
That's what I was thinking...your signature looked familiar. I think that's the case with my W. She isn't seeing OM, but won't come home because of exposure. We all know the single life sucks. Why won't they just set their pride aside and do the right thing?
Me: BH 36 Her: WW 34 Kids: D 14, S 12, S 9 DDay 1-6/2009 DDay 2-9/2011 DDay 3-11/2011 Filed for D 10/2011-Papers Served 11/2011 Divorce final May 24, 2012 My Story
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,057
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,057 |
No offense TW, but I hope I don't get triggers 8 years from now.
My W thinks I'm too demanding and it's exhausting being married to me. I guess demanding faithfulness and accountability, love, respect, affection, friendship, companionship and communication is too hard for her to handle.
Me: BH 36 Her: WW 34 Kids: D 14, S 12, S 9 DDay 1-6/2009 DDay 2-9/2011 DDay 3-11/2011 Filed for D 10/2011-Papers Served 11/2011 Divorce final May 24, 2012 My Story
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240 |
but won't come home because of exposure. A truly repentant wayward won't let exposure keep them away. Someone who would say that they can't come back because of exposure is just looking for a justification to stay wayward and blaming their BS is the easiest way out. Plan A sure does take its toll. When can you get into PB?
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING  Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,057
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,057 |
Scotland, If I had a nickel for every time you asked me that, I'd probably have a quarter.  I'm not sure about PB. I've been considering it at length. I still don't have an IM. I don't trust many people. I try to keep only positive people that share the same values around me. I was thinking February or March though. March will be 6 months in Plan A.
Me: BH 36 Her: WW 34 Kids: D 14, S 12, S 9 DDay 1-6/2009 DDay 2-9/2011 DDay 3-11/2011 Filed for D 10/2011-Papers Served 11/2011 Divorce final May 24, 2012 My Story
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,156
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,156 |
The trigger isn't about pain of losing her, but him. I only get triggered about her right before Christmas because by Dday was just a few days before it. My W thinks I'm too demanding and it's exhausting being married to me. Pure fogbabble, justification and history rewriting. Nothing more
Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240 |
Well March sounds doable. You should be ready before that in case you find your LB extremely drained.
Would you need an IM that can accomplish their duties online, say through emails, or do you need one to have visitation exchanges with? You could always have a shout out here and see if someone can be an IM for you(preferably a male poster). My IM was a poster on here, and I am an IM for a poster, and I was an IM for another poster. I would be willing to lend support to the IM, whomever you choose.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357 |
I still don't have an IM. I don't trust many people. G, I know you don't 'know' us, but you know we share your goals and values. We have people on this site who will IM for you if need be.  Your IM doesn't have to be a person either of you know IRL. Just thought I'd mention that
Last edited by maritalbliss; 01/13/12 05:55 PM.
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,057
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,057 |
I'd hug everyone of you if I could. Thank you.
Me: BH 36 Her: WW 34 Kids: D 14, S 12, S 9 DDay 1-6/2009 DDay 2-9/2011 DDay 3-11/2011 Filed for D 10/2011-Papers Served 11/2011 Divorce final May 24, 2012 My Story
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357 |
I'd hug everyone of you if I could. Thank you. You're a good man, G. 
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,156
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,156 |
Yes he is Bliss. He doesn't deserve this mess. Of course, I guess none of us did.
Scotty- I can probably handle being his IM (if he so chooses) when and if it comes to that. I seem to recall an IM tutorial on this. Could you point me in that direction, just in case?
Thanks
Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240 |
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,156
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,156 |
Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357 |
I'd hug everyone of you if I could. Thank you. G, I'll IM for you if you need me to do so. Let me know.
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
|
|
|
Moderated by Ariel, BerlinMB, Denali, Fordude, IrishGreen, MBeliever, MBsurvivor, MBSync, McLovin, Mizar, PhoenixMB, Toujours
|
0 members (),
213
guests, and
51
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Children
by BrainHurts - 10/19/24 03:02 PM
|
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,615
Posts2,323,460
Members71,895
| |
Most Online3,185
Jan 27th, 2020
|
|
|
|
