Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand, the conversation is done.


Self control is not the issue with addiction. Anyone who thinks overcoming addiction only takes "self control" is demonstrating a total lack of understanding about what is going on inside the brain and body of an addict - even if the person making this claim is an addict.


But, that's OK dude. You can be "right."

Self control has nothing to do with having and/or overcoming and addiction.

If it were as simple as will power, then strong willed alcoholics could hang out at bars and run around with their drunken friends while maintaining sobriety.

Believing it's about will power is why it takes some addicts so long to figure out they have a problem.



Anyway, LWFH, you read and understood what was going on. It's actually BEYOND simple contrast effect, because what some of these guys are doing is continuously escalating their use because the are becoming desensitized. There are accounts from men who escalated to watching gay porn while vehemently denying that they would ever be attracted to another man - the escalation of hyper-stimulation just got that far along the spectrum.

For the most part, internet porn and porn addiction would be like having an alcoholic live in a house where the sink dispenses whiskey.

If 'self control' is all that's necessary to battle an addiction .... my H does not need daily AA meetings.
16 years of AA meetings. Useless. A waste of time.

So let me get this straight: You've NEVER met anyone who beat an addiction through sheer willpower?

Cigarettes are a good example, since nicotine is the most addictive substance on Earth. I know plenty of people who have quit through willpower alone. No Nicorette, no chewing gum, nothing.

If it was something as serious as crack, heroin, or even alcohol, I would agree...but we're talking about whacking off to porn. It's not exactly a crystal meth habit. Not all addictions are the same.

I never said that.

Self control has nothing to do with having an addiction? You must be joking. A lack of self control is what leads to every addiction. Gambling. Substance. Sex. It all begins with a lack of self control.

A lack of self control is also what leads to every single affair.

Speaking strictly about my dear alcoholic husband ......

He wishes willpower would have work for him.
If it had worked, he'd be able to have one drink and be satisfied and stop at that point.
He can't.
He can't stop at 'just one'. Or even 'just two', for that matter.

Before he joined AA, he'd 'limit' or 'control' or 'manage' his drinking in various ways as an attempt to exercise self control.
In the end, his limitations and willpower over alcohol all ended up him being wasted.

Of course willpower isn't enough to overcome all addictions.

I do think a lack of self control allows all addictions to begin. My ex, for example, is addicted to penis. She may not have the willpower to overcome her voracious appetite for dong, but it was a lack of self control that allowed her to become the sort of woman who takes more load than a UPS cargo plane.

She seeks attention and admiration and outside validation.
The penis is just a device to acquire those other things.

KZ ....

My husband can eat one Frito Corn chip and walk away.
Not me.
It's best for me they do not enter our home.

Yes, but if she had more self control she could think, "I like the attention, but seeking it in this manner makes me a skank. Maybe I should pass on the attention and go shopping instead."

Actually, rationalizing leads to poor boundaries which leads to poor decisions and poor self control. An attempt to justify certain behaviors..

Well, don't expect me to shake hands with you!

Jokes aside, it's the justification of the behavior that leads to entering into it. What is being justified is the minimizing of the effects a certain "thing" will have on you or those around you...

" no one will know" "it doesn't hurt my W" etc...

CV

Will power has NOTHING to do with it. It has to do with poor boundaries.

Do me a favor, Krazy; stay far, far away from mental health and addiction treatment.

Also; there is a reason that addiction treatment professionals don't talk about cigarettes when they talk about addiction - tobacco use is a chemical dependency, not an an addiction. Much like morphine causes chemical dependency.

The reason? Nicotine is an agonist to nicotinic cholinergic receptors in the nervous system - withdrawal is caused because of downgrading of the neurotransmitter from the body due to artificial introduction through tobacco use. The sudden removal of this flow of nicotine causes the symptoms of withdrawal, because the receptors are not being triggered by the artificial flow, and the body has not been producing enough neurotransmitter to stimulate the receptors.


Melody's example of a Frito's corn chip is actually a very good example of what is going on with an addict, and it can be something as simple as a corn chip. It can be food, or a substance (drug, alcohol, etc), or it can be a behavior - sex, porn/masturbation, exercise, video games, Facebook, posting on an internet forum...

The problem with some of those things is the escalation, and it's especially apparent in behavioral addictions. For any fulfillment to be reached, the stimulation keeps needing to be elevated.

I'm not talking about a single guy rubbing one out on a dateless Saturday. I'm talking about the guys who are rubbing it out compulsively 3 times a night, every night, and needing vid with a midget, a donkey, a sledgehammer, and a roulette wheel to "get off."

Or, as mentioned, a married guy who claims to have never reached orgasm with 2 different wives.

That's not harmless, it's problematic.

I think it's really nice of you to try to educate Krazy, 3H. Good job! (Not sure if it's going to get through to him, but one can hope...)

Its either nice, or I'm a horse's backside.

Unfortunately, I'm looking more horse's backside, but teaching is a big part of my trade... Meh.

Krazy,

I would assume that you're familiar with the standard distribution "bell" curve?


Let's sort "impact of viewing porn on men's beings" along the x-axis, and the y-quantity would be the relative number of men who exhibit that level of "damage" from watching/whacking a fixed amount of porn.

You may be that guy far to the left who has little impact from porn consumption; I don't know. But for the one of you, there are untold thousnads who see sizable damage, and a right-side few whose entire functionality is impacted (Think: Artie Johnson on "Laugh-In"!).

There are fakirs who have successfully managed to handle poisonous snakes, too. Smart people know not to take the risks.