LOL

whatevah!!

Very good I think I lost my pants ;/- .
we grabbed docs this am was looking for marriage license gone also.I believe she is gonna file first I just want a lawyer on my side that will be Monday at 10:30.Damn I hope she can't burn me on this
Should I wait to call her boss to inquire.?

We actually kinda get happy when waywards are angry. Not because we're sadistic, but because almost always if a wayward is angry, it's because their BS is doing a great job and making headway.

Anger = progress.

Yep. You don't want her to NOT be angry. If she's totally unconcerned, she's gone.

I would call her boss to inquire. Are you in a state where adultery matters in divorce?

Im not sure I would have to check AZ state law.

I haven't read your whole thread but if you are in the States, the courts will be closed Monday for the national holiday as well as most law firms.

He's not Mel...

A court can order spousal maintenance or alimony to either spouse. The parties may agree in writing on this issue, and the court can make the agreement part of the final decree as long as it's fair. If there's no written agreement, the court can decide and award support in amounts and for a period it deems just.

Maintenance can be awarded to either spouse, based on these factors:

- Lack of sufficient property to provide for reasonable needs
- Inability to support himself or herself through a proper job
- Custody of child whose age and condition is such that parent shouldn't have to work outside the home
- Lacks earning ability in the labor market for adequate support
- Contributed to the educational opportunities of the other spouse
- Had a marriage of long duration and is of an age which may preclude chances for an adequate job for support

While alimony can be awarded for any of these reasons, it's also based on the other spouse's ability to pay. Marital misconduct isn't a factor. The factors to be considered are:

- Balancing the contribution of one spouse to the other's career and earning ability at the cost of that spouse's own career development
- The time required for education and training needed to return to work
- The spouse's future earning capacity
- Standard of living during the marriage
- Marriage duration
- The ability of the spouse providing maintenance to meet his or her needs while paying maintenance
- The financial resources of the spouse seeking maintenance
- Any destruction, concealment, fraudulent disposition or excessive expenditures of jointly-held property
- The comparative financial resources of the spouses including earning capacities
- Spouses' ages
- The physical and emotional condition of the spouses
- The usual occupations of the spouses during the marriage
- The vocational skills of the spouse seeking maintenance
- Abilities to contribute to children's educational costs
- Any other factors the court may deem just and equitable

Maintenance is paid via the court, unless otherwise agreed. Spouses can agree to make maintenance agreements may be made non-modifiable.

Alimony awards aren't permanent, and end at death of either party, or at the recipient's remarriage unless the decree provides otherwise.

http://research.lawyers.com/Arizona/Divorce-in-Arizona.html

AZ is a no fault state.

You're doing fine, just stay the course. If she files, then she files and you address that if it happens. In the meantime, just be a broken record (doing what I have to to save this marriage and family) and refuse to get drawn into an argument.

Keep that VAR with you.

I'd give her boss a day or two before calling. If he got it Friday, you might wait until Monday afternoon or Tuesday. Just ask if he got it and if he had any questions.

Update her family (especially the BIL) on all of this. You want to keep them in the loop because she is very likely burning up the phone lines trying to do damage control.

My suggestion would be that he file FIRST, and then delay the process of the D for as long as he wants. FWIW, it will be another very strong sign that he is not prepared to put up with his WW's abuse (adultery IS abuse).

I've seen too many stories of BHs getting handed the shorter straw because they "waited" to find out what their WW was going to do.

Edsway, I suggest talking to a lawyer and getting the ball rolling. You can always control how fast it rolls.

I think that North was addressing Ed's fear that WW will file on Monday, or Tuesday before he gets a chance to file himself.

Yes, I was. I was concerned that Ed would start focus on things that may or may not happen and lose site of more immediate goals. I forget the saying: Don't go looking for problems...something like that.

I do agree that he should take the initiative in the divorce. He has a certain advantage or momentum from this exposure, and it's best to keep it up, to keep hitting while he can before she can regroup and get a plan together.

I really hope he's staying in touch with his in-laws. If they're on his side, it'll be critical that they stay involved and on her case about this.

This should help you learn about Arizona.


http://www.theblaze.com/stories/che...ail-time-under-states-anti-adultery-law/

OK,WW has dropped a huge bomb,came home from work tonight,she is gone kids are gone,not answering cellphones,contacted inlaws,FIL said oh well its to late to call he will call around tomorrow {RED FLAG},talked to MIL said WW was lonely and needed someone in her life to be there for her and kids {are you guys getting it now}BIL texted me,he talked to everyone,he cannot get involved because WW told him not to,he said he has to respect her wishes{RED FLAG}
OK,i called the police,officer showed up,told me that there is nothing he can do,But,are you guys ready....he gave me some great info....her goes.

Officer told me that the A has been going on for at least 2 yrs,stated that a WW doesnt just up and leave for a 3 month thing.
Told me i need to gather all important assests,everything of value,he stated WW can and will serve me with an OP {order of protection} and if thats the case i would need to vacate house in 5min,he stated OM will be waiting,and when im walking out with my bag,OM will walk right into the house.
Told me,that she is with OM,along with the kids,and this has been planned in advance.
Told me ,OM has been in this house recent and has scoped out all that i have...i have my 69 camaro my prized possession.guess what,officer told me that camaro is WW's prize to her new lover.
He told that if an OP is served i will not be allowed in this house again,and that all in it will belong to WW.said he has been doing this for 15yrs and i need to act as quickly as possible.

Car is going to be stored at friends house,he said do not disclose were to WW,told me to call him when she shows up and asks were the car is,officer said she is going to freak out...

i meet with lawyer on monday at 10:30am,Officer said i need to get an order of protection against WW ASAP...this will keep her away.

OM is not allowed near here,officer doubts he'll be around until all is done..if he shows i have the right to tell him to leave,that he has 30 seconds to vacate or he walks out with a limp,officer stated that it was in self defense...if he shows up...

This is gonna be one hell of a weekend...at least she's not here,i got to gather my stuff
She has already locked me out of phone account,i need to call and get back on...damn she is good.

Ok she has taken all phones off my account,i reset passwords,and i am just flying now...i need to gather up my stuff asap.

Now im worried about my single bank account,will they freeze those assest/money..should i put money in a friends account?im worried that when the divorce is on,i will have no money..and believe me she has begun the process,the OM has done his homework as i do not believe this is all her thinking.
I believe that my son is not resisting,i just have a feeling that he knew i have been beat,that there was no hope in me staying together with them...WW has won this battle.
I dont think anything will come of the work letter i sent,she has put me down as a monster and a nut job,she has lied her way through this for quite some time.Well done,i admit defeat.

This is not unexpected. It's quite possible that she's readying false abuse charges as well, in order to get you out of the house. BTW, does it look like she left in a hurry, e.g. food on the table, only a few clothes missing, lights left on, etc.?



Your in-laws are likely confused and scrambling at the moment. For awhile your WW has been feeding them one story, and now they're heard something entirely different from you. I'd give them just a bit of leeway, but just for the moment.



Did he know all of this, or is he just speculating?



Do you have any friends or relatives that live out of state? I would consider having them come by and pick it up instead.



Not necessarily. What IS clear is that she's been planning this for some time and so therefore has a headstart on you. That is why I was suggesting that you wait a little until you got your hands on her A phone before exposing, as it would have allowed you to catch up a little, and give you more evidence about what she was planning. Your exposure has caused her to escalate those plans, so she is likely to make a mistake or two along the way. In particular, I'd bet that she wasn't expecting the A to be exposed like it was to her employer and her family, so now she has to find a way to explain her actions to them. The most common "explanation" that WWs turn to in such circumstances is an abusive husband.

At this point you should be taking all the steps you can to protect yourself legally and financially. For example, do you own any joint credit cards?

Yes,in a hurry,didnt look like any bags were packed,looks like when she came home at some point,grabbed the kids and left.
Officer was speculating.but has seen this before.
nobody out of state,a friend of mine has a place for the car,it should be ok.
I am assuming WW has made arraignments to get the ball rolling,I do have to wonder though if the FIL will contact OM as i gave him the name and number,doesnt matter,i am thinking they were all in on it anyway.
No joint credit cards,although she did borrow money against her 401K she told me it was to pay off credit cards,she did have 2 that had high balances,they way it looked though she couldnt get enough to pay off completely so she went to credit counseling..

Now with me calling the police and as concerned for the well being of my kids,dont they take a report.if she is going to add false abuse charges couldnt i use the officers report and testimony?