Yes, what was the result of your call, TSG?

i wish you would listen and answer people that are still trying to help you here. i can not help you because you are smashed/wasted everytime you post here.

its like watching a train wreck.

i hope the knowledge of what you have lost will help you make changes in your life.

I think I understand what you're asking, and will do my best to answer it. We can use adultery as an example, though the same premise would apply to many things.

Suppose there is a husband who committed adultery. His BW knew something was wrong, and thought it might be an A, but she wasn't sure. Her WH finally confessed to her that there was an OW in the picture, asking her to keep this in confidence. Should she?

No.

This would be a problem much bigger than she could handle on her own. Besides the obvious problem of asking her to conceal something that is terrible and wrong, this BW needs support.

Whether she gets it from family and friends, or whether she gets it from strangers on an internet forum, she needs help!!! And she should never keep a harmful, unhealthy, devastating secret to herself, not even to protect her WH from the natural consequences of his own actions.

Even if the consequences are very serious, for example a WH in the military who may face court-martial for his choices. Telling was still the right thing to do.

This hypothetical man and wife would NEVER have been able to have the slightest chance to rebuild a marriage based on dishonesty. Even if the BW didn't want to recover, the man himself would NEVER EVER EVER have been able to become a decent person again, while still lying about what he had done.

It was the right thing for him to tell her, and it was the right thing for her to tell others. Good for both of them!

i told everyone of you 2swewet best woman in this POS world she will always be ok

TSG


Any way anyone of us here can help you with anything MB's?

Do you have a question or need help with MB's related issues?

nESRE

thank you for the offer, but it to late
thank you and good luck to you
maybe ill check in time to time thanks

The neato thing about MB is it can help you R yourself from the A. Though the hope is always to save the M, when that does not happen we can still assist in restoring the individual.

I recommend that you, for your own sake and that of your children, deal with each and every issue you face. That includes the adultery, and your need to understand why you gave yourself permission to do that, as well as how to prevent it from ever happening again.

You will be a better person for leaving all the wayward thinking behind you. We can still help with that.

Glad you dropped in.

Neak, you have the patience of a saint.

This is so true. When I came here I was certainly not involved in an affair, but after a few months I discovered that a lot of my thinking was uncomfortably close to many of the wayward husbands I saw here. Scary. But it was good news, because it showed me how to change for the better.

hello all
maybe everyone was trying to help.hate i was a [censored].
i did learn something it better to be the one that getting ***EDIT*** than the one doing it.yep i been there to .hate i losted 2sweet hell we had it all. told her today it want take long she be happy again soon.this i know she a good lady.she should have never been with this dumb ***EDIT***.hey if you dont know she my 3rd wife .hey maybe i should take a hint.dont know why im telling this maybe cause she wanted me back on here ill stay on here ntill saturday dont know what good it will doyou can get ***EDIT*** than but steve said i need to read her post but it to late now.oh and for the one said i should give house and anything else to her i tryed she not that type.her or myself dont need anything our kid will never want for anytrhing like i said we had it all love money land cars bikes anything we wanted but guess whatI [censored] IT UP AND IM SORRY TO

TO 2SWEET ----**EDIT** you are my life you are th love of my life and i am sorry i would give my life to change what happen but you cant change the passeed you may be unhappy for a short time but there is someone who will make your beautiful eyes light up a dark room the way i use to do my love and my heart will always be with you i will alway be there to watch over you and the kids
I AM SO SORRY
LOVE ALWAYS AND FOREVER
**EDIT**

Pep

Sam, I recommend that you make a step-by-step plan for how you are going to regain your honor and decency. I know you feel like a total screwup right now, and well you should. That's a good thing, as long as those awful guilt and shame feelings lead you to something better. You're messed up right now, but you don't have to stay that way.

A few things for starters:

1. You have other serious issues besides adultery. Get help and accountability for those in an appropriate setting. All we can do is cheer you on - it's outside our scope of practice.
2. Turn to God. He is the very best One to change you, and make you into a whole new man. He said, "Though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow." Looking out my window, that fresh snow is pretty white. You can be clean and holy. If you want to know more, many of us here are Christians and can answer any questions you may have.
3. Continue the plan 2sweet laid out for healing from the adultery. You made a good start with NC, putting in EP's, and sending the letter. Continue to learn and grow in this area. This is so important for the man you will be, and the example you will set for your children.
4. Don't give up on yourself. You can change. Believe that.
5. Do all this with no expectations, and without trying to be close to 2sweet. Do it for yourself, and for your children. Do it because it's the right thing to do, and you are a person who has chosen to do what is right.

That will do for starters.

She did NOT get it from me. Or from her dad, for that matter. However, it's a good thing she got it from SOMEWHERE, because she's certainly needed it to deal with her life!

tl

You can change the future, though, tsg.

Not by sweet talking words, but by doing something.

"Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth." (1 John 3:18) (http://bible.cc/1_john/3-18.htm)


You could do that in the future, if you change. If you care about 2sweet, you can make changes in your life for her. If you aren't willing to do that, then your words are pretty much meaningless, and if I were her, I would find it offensive to hear you continually say you care while being unwilling to actually DO caring deeds.


This has not been true in the past. What have you changed to give any evidence that it will be true in the future?

Of course everybody was trying to help. Only a complete jerk would say otherwise. I suggest you quit being a jerk to people helping you and starting listening to what they say and putting their suggestions into practice.

If anyone is not trying to help around here, or giving bad help/advice, the moderators usually pounce on them very quickly.


Why don't you stick around until you actually get what people are telling you, and you live it in your life? It will probably take longer than Saturday.


Whether it does any good or not is up to YOU, tsg. So far it has done NO good, because you aren't putting the suggestions into practice, right?


If you want to attract 2sweet back to your marriage, you will need to change to behave in more attractive ways. "Poor me I EFFED UP" is not attractive at all.

I told myself I wasn't going to post anymore, but something about Markos' response made me change my mind.

TSG, you have been kicking the goads since you got here. You've been given advice (and durned good advice to boot) about HOW to recover your failing marriage.

Buddy, you need to buckle down and steer this sinking boat you call your marriage. Quit talking and start doing. I don't care if it takes 5 hours to type it out and funk and wagnall's dictionary, sit down and type out your EP's here. Start interacting with what's being given to you and start being honest.

If you really love 2S, you would be the Evil Knievel of Marriage Builders, doing every MB thing here to get her back.



CV

Instead of whining that it's too late.

Whining that it's too late is unattractive.

It doesn't get any better when you admit that it's your fault that it's too late.

Besides, it's not too late. You just don't want to have to do what it takes.

So admit the truth: "I don't care enough about 2sweet to do what it takes."

TSG

When I was a drunken wayward husband I had plenty of words of love for my wife.

The words meant nothing as my actions did not even come close to what my behavior was.

In my twisted mind I judged myself by my good intentions. When I said I loved my wife I meant it. I believed it.

My wife judged my love by my actions. The world also judges us by our actions.

My actions (drunken/wayward) said way more than words ever could have.

Love is an action word Brother.


What actions other than useless words are you willing to take to make your proclomation of love to 2S true in real life?

nESRE