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thanks for the link. I have not been able to confirm if they are communicating via emails or any other way via the computer. There are numerous times when she takes the laptop with her to work - but then again she is currently in school taking online classes. What's your advice about getting to her laptop? I would put a keylogger on it that will send you reports via email. That way you only have to access it once. A good one eblaster at spectorpro.com. It is easy to install and is undetectable. It costs $100, though.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Mel, or anyone else for that matter, have you ever heard of or tried Desktop Shark? http://www.desktopshark.com/They have a free version that may be good enough to get what is needed for confirmation.
Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
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TigerWes- I used desktopshark over a year ago when it had a free limited version. I understand that the latest is free for a few days and then deactivates until you purchase the upgrade. The free version recorded fine, but made Internet Explorer a real slug-- there was a 1-2 second delay between typing and having the letter appear on the screen. I did not notice that behavior on Google Chrome or Firefox browsers, though. eblaster works like a champ, though. FMonty- If the phone just has a SIM card, you can buy readers that will pull all deleted text messages from the card. Here's one that I've seen mentioned before, but I've never tried it: http://www.brickhousesecurity.com/cellphone-spy-simcardreader.html
Me (BH)
FWW
Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2
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Agree. I downloaded it just to try it out and it's a resource hog...and I do mean HOG!! That would be a huge  to whoever you are trying to monitor. 65 bucks is a steal for the intel eblaster can provide
Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Agree. I downloaded it just to try it out and it's a resource hog...and I do mean HOG!! That would be a huge to whoever you are trying to monitor. 65 bucks is a steal for the intel eblaster can provide Down to $65? I paid $100 for it almost 3 years ago. Worked like a charm. Best $100 I ever spent.
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Scotland - thanks! I am sorry that I am here but that's life! I do not know who Joe is - but have been aware that my wife bought 2 cars from him - I have never met him. Yes, I do know his last name and have checked on marriage records in the State which indicate that he is married. There are no divorce records, at least I could not find any - so there's no telling if he is still married or not.
I will check out the link you provided...thanks for your time! If you are like me, You need to figure out how to keep your cool. I took lots of long walks and Lots of long drives. It's tough living with someone you can't trust and not being able to say anything. Keep cool until you have a plan!!!
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Agree. I downloaded it just to try it out and it's a resource hog...and I do mean HOG!! That would be a huge to whoever you are trying to monitor. 65 bucks is a steal for the intel eblaster can provide Down to $65? I paid $100 for it almost 3 years ago. Worked like a charm. Best $100 I ever spent. I agree. It was for me too. It is $100 for the keylogger and $65 for the cell phone spyware. [for android and blackberry]
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Scotland - I understand where you are coming from. Isn't the aim of all the 'fact finding' to expose the affair? Otherwise if one doesn't expose it how can any of us fix it? It is killing me not to confront her though...and it has made things around the home a bit tense - I tend to shut down whenever I deal with betrayal. Then again, by not confronting her now...how can I move forward when its already hard enough to even look at her?
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Well said and thanks for your time and advice!
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Thanks for the tip - I shoulda been on this site months ago.
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Thanks for your time and advice Melody.
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Scotland - I understand where you are coming from. Isn't the aim of all the 'fact finding' to expose the affair? Otherwise if one doesn't expose it how can any of us fix it? It is killing me not to confront her though...and it has made things around the home a bit tense - I tend to shut down whenever I deal with betrayal. Then again, by not confronting her now...how can I move forward when its already hard enough to even look at her? I KNOW how hard it is to confront. If you read my thread, you will see that I DID confront my WH, right after I read some keylogger information. It was about 1am. It didn't go well. I wish I had listened to the board and kept my mouth shut. See, if you confront your WW right away,she will have time to gaslight you, which will make it harder for us to convince you of things that she is lying to you about. Also, it will give her an opportunity to go deeper underground, and warn OM before you have the opportunity to expose the A, if that is what you find evidence of. Heed the warnings of the vets here, they won't steer you wrong.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING  Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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Scotland - I am working on it...hard as it may be. What does the gang advice about how hard it gets to deal with this? It has now been over 10 days of distance from me. Because of being the feelings of being hurt - there's not a chance that I could even be intimate with her before this matter is resolved. It is just a matter of time before she becomes aware that 'something is up' - right? What then?
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You need to become an academy award winning actor.
If she asks you what`s wrong, you could answer that you have been feeling out of sorts lately(no lie right?).
Once you know what you are dealing with, then you can enact a plan. This first part is going to be difficult for you, because until you have evidence of an affair, you don't know how to fight it.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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Here's a second part of the question - what if there's nothing physical - do I confront her before it gets there - or keep this game up - only to see this ending up there? You get me?
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We "get" you.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it.
Whatever evidence you should find, bring it here, get advice on how to move forward, and follow that advice.
What snooping techniques are you using ATM?
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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Exactly as said as you get info and plan with us. No one here will advocate that you let a EA turn into a PA.
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Currently I have the "loan document" they initialled together for $2000 - it couldn't even pass muster in a court if this dude decided to bail out and not repay...(plus I am sure by keeping it away from me - it makes it even harder for her to say anything if he were to bail because the secrecy is his protection). I was led to think the $$$ was school fees. I can also log into cell phone account online and view usage data for all calls/texts. That's how I know calls are made when she leaves the house or when at work.
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can also log into cell phone account online and view usage data for all calls/texts. That's how I know calls are made when she leaves the house or when at work. Sounds like a VAR in her car might give you some info real quick. You can get them at any BestBuy, Target, Walmart, Radio Shack, etc You really need something to go on before confronting. Otherwise, they will paint you as jealous, crazy, and controlling. They will then be smarter in their deception and will merrily continue on in fantasy world. That's exactly what happened to me... boy do I wish I had found MB back then. Is your money now protected from this guy?
ME: BW
HIM: FWH
Married 18 yrs
DDay 09/2008 and 12/2008
Recovered
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boy do I wish I had found MB back then. Wish I had a buck for every time I said this to myself! FM, pokerface is right...get the VAR in place in her car. Velcro it down so it doesn't fall out accidentally.
Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
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