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Does anyone else feel like you have this huge sign over your head that says DIVORCED/FAILURE when you go out in public? How do you get over that feeling? I read your other post about the guy you want to pursue a friendship with. Sadly, you are pursing this for all the wrong reasons.  You have to heal from your divorce, and learn how to be happy on your own before you date or pursue relationships with the opposite sex. (Don't beat yourself up about this though as many of us (myself included) reacted the same way you are now.) As tough as all this is right now, it is such a tremendous oppurtunity for personal growth. I think you will amaze yourself as you travel through this chapter of your life. Thank you so much. I realize the timing is not right and will possibly NEVER be right with this person. This has just threw me so far back in my recovery and I'm sad about that. I 'thought' I was doing alright. Now I realize I'm a basket case with serious issues. lol Now if I could just commit myself to NOT think about the possibility of it I will be FINE. Ya'll are the best! (((HUGS)))
Me (BS): 41
Ex (lying cheating piece of dirt): 43
Kids: 12 DD, 6 DS
Married 17 years
I filed: 9/25/10
Divorce final: 10/4/11
He remarried: 10/15/11
My current status: Healing a little more every day!
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Posts: 156
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Posts: 156 |
The blocking thing won't work in my situation. First of all I don't want him off my friend list or me off of his AND I would have to request for him to be added back. I'm sure he would find that odd. I just wanted a temporary block where *I* couldn't see him. Seems like there is no fix for that. I think blocking him would complicate matters due to the family situation. Moving on ... lol Blocking someone prevents them from viewing your profile (timeline). Any ties you currently have with the people you block will be broken (friendship connections, friend details, etc.). Your profile (timeline) will not be visible to them and you will not appear in their search results or friend lists. Blocking is mutual, so they will also become invisible to you as well.
Keep in mind that blocking someone may not prevent all communications, such as interactions in third-party applications, and does not extend to elsewhere on the Internet.
Please note that removing a block will not restore a connection. If you block a friend and then remove that person from your block list, you will need to send them a new friend request.
Me (BS): 41
Ex (lying cheating piece of dirt): 43
Kids: 12 DD, 6 DS
Married 17 years
I filed: 9/25/10
Divorce final: 10/4/11
He remarried: 10/15/11
My current status: Healing a little more every day!
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Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,788 Likes: 2
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The blocking thing won't work in my situation. First of all I don't want him off my friend list or me off of his AND I would have to request for him to be added back. I'm sure he would find that odd. I just wanted a temporary block where *I* couldn't see him. Seems like there is no fix for that. I think blocking him would complicate matters due to the family situation. Moving on ... lol You can set things so that his updates do not appear on your page. Go to his page, top right 'unsubscribe'. Then you can always restore at some future point, he will never know.
3 adult children
Divorced - he was a serial adulterer
Now remarried, thank you MB
(formerly lied_to_again)
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Priss,
I hope you know that I'm not making fun of you.... you write well, and your humor comes off the page as I read your posts. I think the ladies here are doing a way better job of advice than I ever could and I humbly bow to their expertise.
I think so much of a recovery is in being able to see what your doing, how your reacting to it...... and when not to take yourself to seriously. Although I know, you know, you have a way to go emotionally, Knowing that is half the battle........whew !!!
SC
Me BS 54
XWW 51 Divorce final 1/9/12
DS26 DS24 Twin DD's22 Married 29years
D-dates No1 01/2007, No2 08/2008(ongoing)
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 156
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The blocking thing won't work in my situation. First of all I don't want him off my friend list or me off of his AND I would have to request for him to be added back. I'm sure he would find that odd. I just wanted a temporary block where *I* couldn't see him. Seems like there is no fix for that. I think blocking him would complicate matters due to the family situation. Moving on ... lol You can set things so that his updates do not appear on your page. Go to his page, top right 'unsubscribe'. Then you can always restore at some future point, he will never know. I forgot about that feature! Thanks!!! Now to keep myself from clicking on his name to see what he's been up to. 
Me (BS): 41
Ex (lying cheating piece of dirt): 43
Kids: 12 DD, 6 DS
Married 17 years
I filed: 9/25/10
Divorce final: 10/4/11
He remarried: 10/15/11
My current status: Healing a little more every day!
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 156
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Priss,
I hope you know that I'm not making fun of you.... you write well, and your humor comes off the page as I read your posts. I think the ladies here are doing a way better job of advice than I ever could and I humbly bow to their expertise.
I think so much of a recovery is in being able to see what your doing, how your reacting to it...... and when not to take yourself to seriously. Although I know, you know, you have a way to go emotionally, Knowing that is half the battle........whew !!!
SC I know you aren't making fun of me. I was just having fun. Thankfully since the ex has gotten out of my life, my sense of humor has come back. Now to gain some confidence in myself ...
Me (BS): 41
Ex (lying cheating piece of dirt): 43
Kids: 12 DD, 6 DS
Married 17 years
I filed: 9/25/10
Divorce final: 10/4/11
He remarried: 10/15/11
My current status: Healing a little more every day!
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Posts: 1,880
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That DIVORCED/FAILURE sign will eventually morph into a DIVORCED/VICTORY!! sign.
Divorced
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That DIVORCED/FAILURE sign will eventually morph into a DIVORCED/VICTORY!! sign. That is a good way to look at it Krazy! I am so thankful to be divorced from the gnat (my Mama's word for him). Now I've got to move forward in my thinking that no matter what other ppl think of me, my life is SO MUCH better. I'm going to church this weekend wearing that sign! DIVORCED/VICTORY! That is my new sign! I remember, when I was married, riding by a chic's house who has never been married (she's had live-ins at various times) and thinking she is SO lucky. Now I feel sorry for myself for being lucky like she is? How CRAZY is that? Seriously!
Me (BS): 41
Ex (lying cheating piece of dirt): 43
Kids: 12 DD, 6 DS
Married 17 years
I filed: 9/25/10
Divorce final: 10/4/11
He remarried: 10/15/11
My current status: Healing a little more every day!
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Posts: 14
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Sometimes. We both failed each other but I want to become a better person. I believe by reading as much info on this site and learning my part in the failure, will help myself tremendously in the long run. 
Me: 44YO FWW: EA IN 2005-2007 EXPOSED MYSELF IN 2006 NC SINCE 2007 WAS MARRIED FOR 18 YEARS
HIM: 47YO EX WH: PA WHILE DATING, CALLING PROSTITUTES WHILE MARRIED, PROBLEMS WITH PORN(CONFESSED ALL THIS IN 2006 WHILE ARGUING)SEX ADDICT
DSX3:13,14, & 15
DDX2: 18 & 11
SEPERATED IN 2007, DIVORCE FINAL 2009. EX WH REMARRIES IN SEPT 2010. I WILL NOT MARRY AGAIN UNLESS THE MAN IS OPEN TO MB CONCEPTS.
LEARNING FROM MY PAST MISTAKES & LOVING MY KIDS
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Ya'll will be so proud of me. I turned off his notifications. I don't know how I feel about it (sad?) but I did it for a few days/weeks anyway.
Me (BS): 41
Ex (lying cheating piece of dirt): 43
Kids: 12 DD, 6 DS
Married 17 years
I filed: 9/25/10
Divorce final: 10/4/11
He remarried: 10/15/11
My current status: Healing a little more every day!
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Posts: 651
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Posts: 651 |
I AM proud of you! You did the right thing.
Me: BS 51
Himself: WH 53, EA/PA w/ RunnerSlut his "running buddy."
Buncha' kids. The two youngest are still minors.
Separated: 08/13/09 after 25 years of marriage
Plan D: Filed 11/13/09 Final 3/30/11
MC told me that he probably has a personality disorder
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Now I've got to move forward in my thinking that no matter what other ppl think of me, my life is SO MUCH better. What leads you to assume that other people think poorly of you? Did you have a low opinion of divorced people before you filed for divorce?
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Yay! I'm proud of you too!
It takes two to get married but sometimes it only takes one to break it. Divorced people should not think of themselves as failures. Sometimes the only failure was in the selection, not in how you handled the marriage. Each person can only search within themselves and see if they find something that needs improved upon, and then work on it. And that's something all of us need to do, whether married, divorced or single.
Enacting life's lessons into positive change... .
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 156
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OP
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Posts: 156 |
Now I've got to move forward in my thinking that no matter what other ppl think of me, my life is SO MUCH better. What leads you to assume that other people think poorly of you? Did you have a low opinion of divorced people before you filed for divorce? Nope. Didn't have a low opinion of divorced ppl. Never really thought one way or the other about it. I doubt anyone thinks poorly of me, it's just the way I feel. Maybe cause I think poorly of myself because of all the emotional abuse? I'm truly working on this but it's going to be a LONG drawn out process.
Me (BS): 41
Ex (lying cheating piece of dirt): 43
Kids: 12 DD, 6 DS
Married 17 years
I filed: 9/25/10
Divorce final: 10/4/11
He remarried: 10/15/11
My current status: Healing a little more every day!
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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,463
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Posts: 1,463 |
Enacting life's lessons into positive change... .
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