GJM - where is the link to your story (thread)?

The reason I ask is my wife is also very stubborn and my biggest fear is she will come out of the fog one day and be too stubborn/proud/ashamed to come back.

Being stubborn applies to about 99.0999999% of wayward wives. That can work to your benefit. Wild horses would not prevent a WS from coming back if she wanted to come back. So don't worry about that for a minute.

You guys, if your wife is "stubborn" she will try HARDER to come back if she wants to come back.

My story is on the same page as yours. It's pretty long. Listen to Mel. You'll be glad she's helping you.

Well, there's one fear I can lay to rest.

You are definitely at an advantage. You have a bond with her family and you have the children. That will weigh on her over time.

I sure would like to think so. There's no way I could ever 'give up' my family for another woman. I know it's putting pressure on her, just don't know what, if any breaking point she has.

On a related note, I wrote earlier in this thread that DD and I went up north ice fishing. My BIL's family invited us up. We always went up north with them year round in that past. I did it to get away for a day or so,and to get DD away from things as well. BUT, I also did it because I wanted WW to know that I'm still actively doing things with her family because we're still, well, family!

This may not have been nice, but I texted WW some pictures of all of us sitting around in the ice shack having a great time. I wanted her to remember the good times we all had and that DD and I were still having them with family! Nothing mean at all, just some nice pictures.

Like my dad told me "Since she has written you out of her life, it will be interesting to see if she loves her kids enough to come back for their sakes".

It's not mean unless you wrote "see what you're missing!" or something like that. You could just say "wish you were here." I'm sure she enjoyed the pics. She won't tell you either way, but I'm sure it touched her in some way. I often overlook things like that so I come here and get 2X4d back on the right path. You're going to question yourself alot. When that happens, come back here and everyone will help you.

No, didn't say anything mean. I know it would bother me if the shoe was on the other foot and I saw the pictures. It would really make me miss the old days.

So we'll see. Even if it's just something that gets parked in the back of her mind and hopefully recalled at a later date, it's better than nothing.

Oh, I've been questioning myself a lot lately, especially since she moved out. So I will be asking plenty of past questions and new questions as they come up. Plus, I'm still going through the threads. There's a wealth of information. To bad they're not categorized under WW or WH. Would help narrow down the search.

You can usually tell who the BS and who the WS is by the title of the thread. Take your time. It's a marathon not a sprint (that's what I've been told).

FUNNY, that's what I was told as well. And some of our marathons are longer than others.

StillW, if you want to see a posters posts, you can click on their name on the left of the post, go to view posts. This will be ALL of their posts. If you want to see threads they have created, then you click Topics Created.

Now for the V-Day present, what kinds of memories do you have that you could remind her of through a gift?

I'm going to have to think about this a bit. I had the window pane idea for Christmas, and I was thinking about somehow using some of the roses I've given her over the years into some type of present.

If I was more artistic, I could use the rose petals somehow. I would like it to be unique.

A small part of me worries that she'll ditch the present and then the roses would be lost forever. I'd only do it if you really can't think of anything else. One reason I didn't give my WH any of our mementos that I didn't want to lose.

There is a lot of dried roses staring at me in the curio. I was thinking of perhaps getting a small jar or orb and putting some of these in there, the maybe sprinkling rose oil on them. These roses would have memories for her. There would still be a lot left.

I don't want to get carried away with this. It's not like past Valentines Day's, so not sure how I should react to giving her a gift.

I do think a gift made from the heart would mean more than just something store bought. OM will most likely not go the homemade route, thinking it will make him look cheap. So he'd be thinking something flashy, rather than sentimental.

Not that I really give a rat's you know what to him anyhow.

I guess this is what you do on Valentines Day in our situation. Never been in this boat before. Christmas was difficult enough.

Is it ok to just express my concerns or anger on this forum? I don't want to distract from legitimate questions that others may have.

For example, my WW is a RN and she has Mondays off. It just kind of blew me away that she didn't contact the kids today. Heck, stop by after they get home from school, visit with them for couple hours and head out before I get home if you need to. DD did text her "Hi!" a little bit ago, and she replied back "Hi Angel." Wow, there's some good conversation.

Guess I'm just miffed because I sit here talking to DD and she's explaining and reading to me a paper she has for school. Of course DS is playing Minecraft on his computer. But how can my WW miss out on all these moments? She was ALWAYS such a good mother, and now she's but a shadow of that. These are memories and time with our kids that she'll never get back.

You can vent, but so can I!! How are your exposures coming along?

Waywards are addicts who are only interested in themselves. There is no room for anyone else, not even their children. There is a reason people call them "aliens" and lots of other derogatory words.

AM

Ha! I had to laugh when I saw this. I knew you were going to be asking about this.

I honestly do not know who else to expose to. The only Facebook family members the OM has are his brother, SIL, and son. And I know they won't give rip, they already know and all hang out with WW.

WW's friends already know and I'm sure she's filled their minds with our rewritten history already.

Oh, but I haven't spoken with the ex-wife yet. I'm going to get my BIL and we might try and get in touch with her this weekend.

Ideas?

The brother and SIL know what EXACTLY? Have you spoken to them personally? Or do they only know your WW's lies?

Ok, then you need to FIND OUT their parents' name and address and contact them. Go through all of their facebook pages and see if you can find them. Then go look them up in intelius.com.

Does your wife work with the OM?


So you haven't exposed to them? Then those are good exposure targets unless they are crapwit loser types who will "support" her adultery.


Is there a reason you need your BIL? I would just call her up and speak to her.

Wife does not work with OM.

The friends of hers that I do know work with her, are single, or a single parent, or are just losers who would support her. The friends at her work, I've only met a couple times. I don't even know how to get in touch with them. One of her close friends I've texted and she knows what WW is doing is wrong and she's told her this months ago. But of course she can't convince her otherwise.

My BIL doesn't need to go, just thought it would be good to have another set of ears in case I forgot something she said. Just that I don't have a phone number, just an address from the circuit court webpage from their divorce.