iPhone's don't use the sim card to store information because the sim cards don't have the capacity for it.

I would also pick up a zoombak GPS from Radio Shack so you can track her whereabouts.

I would quietly gather all your evidence before you confront her. Come here once you have evidence of their PLAN.

SM, please follow the advice of the posters on here. My WW came home almost one month ago and told me that she wanted a divorce. She told me of the affair and that she wasn't in love with me anymore. The first thing I did, while she was standing there looking at me, was to call her family and tell them about it. She was pissed. Then I left the house for a bit and told her friends. Her friends wouldn't talk to her anymore unless she committed to work on the relationship. I then proceeded to tell everyone that would listen about the affair. She changed her tune very quickly. We have been working on things, going to a good MC who follows most of the practices to a T that are listed on this website. There is hope. Get the full details and tell everyone who will listen, and DO NOT LEAVE YOUR HOME AND KIDS!!!

Find My iPhone app is free.

You can track via GPS all the iphones on your account.

Location services must be turned on though.

I think your wife is lieing her hiney off ... Shes gradually softening you up with her "explanations" ... "feelings for him" ...then its "a single kiss".


Please forgive me, some might think I'm being extreme for what I say next ...


I'm going to grab you by the collar and scream in your face

*********"WAKE UP MAN"**********

This guy is no longer a friend of yours ... Hes out to replace YOU, HE IS YOUR ENEMY. Both him and your wife, are going to rip your family apart and turn your kids lives upside down.

Your children are depending on you to man up, stand up and protect THEIR interests!!

Your going to find out very quickly that all these verbal promises she made to get you to go along with her .... are going to bite you in the a$$...

HelptheLostDads make that VERY SAME MISTAKE, he went along to get along, and found himself almost homeless (correct me if im wrong on that count) and DEEPLY in debt.

Her best friend, did your wife confide in her about the affair? When did her best friend know about the affair?

She has to be lying. It wasnt love at first sight. She wasnt shot with cupids bow. She has spent dedicated time and effort builing these feelings and allowing their growth.

Each time after a talking, sharing session did she come home and spill her guts about the changes happening to her feelings? To give SM fair warning about what was happening before she got too deep in?

No, she lied because it left her free to carry on.

She told herself it would 'hurt him' and made excuses as to why it was ok to lie.

Then once she had made that step into becoming a 'warm hearted liar', there would have been nothing stopping it from going PA.

She didnt have to tell, after all. Cause it would hurt SM if she did. So she could just do it and forget about the consequences.

I dont want to hurt you, SM, just prepare you but when a WW has 'just' an EA, or a kiss she calls it a friendship/ or says 'nothing happened'

When its a PA she says it was an EA/just a kiss/we only did it once, yada yada yada. Makes no sense but they all do it.

Read the never take he word of a wayward thread - Dont take her word about anything

That includes 'I dont love you' or 'you dont love me' etc - all nonsense.

Or she is lying to her best friend. When I was in the heat of my fog, I did not tell a soul what I was doing. Not even my own sister, in which I tell everything to. When my H found out, he told EVERYONE we knew on both sides. I was so angry with him but it sure did bring me out of my fog pretty quick. Especially when my sister (my best friend) called me and said she was disgusted with me and didn't know who I was.

***EDIT*** why do you think your WW wants you out of the house?

OM can't stand living the way he does.

Your WW is providing him a free place to jump to once he leaves grandmas house.

Also if you think WW is not doing the OM because she said so (I have a bridge forsale. It's located in Brooklyn, NY.) and her family and friends said so.

News Flash News Flash News Flash News Flash News Flash News Flash

The info they have is what WW is feeding them. WW has no problem lying to you or them.

I have been reading for two years even before I began to post. During all this time I have seen more WW's then I can remember that swore on whatever that she was not physical with OM.

Only to see the WW story change to we justed kissed once.
To we necked once.
To oral.
To.... only once....to many times....well I think you can finish this story.

This is very true. Anyone who freeloads off grandma and daughter has no problem using a married woman for FS. Or those letters reversed.

Since he is so dependent on his family, exposing to the family will make your W not worth what he will lose and he will dump her.

Get that evidence and expose.

But come here for your exposure plan first.

I'd place bets on this happening. And to add, exposing to them will also show them exactly just what kind of relationship this really is...and they will NOT like it or condone it. Bet on it

easy. like MrNiceGuy says: calm cool and collected.
Today's radio show has a wayward husband who admits he hardly recognizes who he was during the affair. Your wife is in there somewhere. It's your job to coax her out and anger/meanness won't be the landing pad she's looking for. Be the man she wants to come to when she realizes OM is a slimy scumbag.
opt

To his wife? Absolutely!

To the OM? Absolutely!

I came home from work tonight. Friend of ours came over that is newly divorced and talked with us. He said it was exactly like his. We talked to him and listened. During that conversation I realized SCREW this. I'm not begging/forcing her to goto counseling. After the conversation I left and drove around for a bit, came home and told her I'm DONE.

I did call the correct aunt of hers while I was gone. She was not happy when I got home. She had already received a nice phone call. LMAO

I'm guilty of trying to buy her love with gifts instead of affection. I know I messed up. I have admitted it to her several times. I'm not going to spy or anything else. She is leaving a great provider and dad. She will suffer more then me in the long run. She is going to lose most of her friends.

I told her to take some money out of checking and get her own place ASAP.

At that point she said well should I stay and be unhappy and maybe I might get feelings for you again. I told her no! Trust me it was painful to do but felt good. She was crying when I got out of the shower.



I told her to take money from my checking account and get her own place soon

I hope you don't regret what you have said to your wife. It's ultimately your decision, but you did some major love busting and I hope you don't wake up realizing you made a mistake. You have 3 children that deserve both parents under one roof. You both deserve a loving fulfilling marriage and it will take work. You're tied together for life through your children and eventually their children. I hope you have already thought of these things. I know some times it may not seem worth it, but in 10 years you can look back and see that this is just a short time in your lives that can be over come. And if you do make it, you'll be glad you stuck it out. Good luck.

Dude I know its hard to keep your cool. I've bveen there.
But you should seriously consider that ypour words will just reinforce your wifes decision to leave.
If there is any part of you that wants to save your family, you need to follow the MB plan

After sleeping a few hours, I still feel better. I made the right choice. I've been doing anything I can for a week to stop this. I could tell when I told her she need to leave it was a shocker. She didn't think I would do it! I'm betting she wants to try counseling by the end of the weekend. If not I'm done anyway.

I was the coolest I've been in a week and it felt good. I've got to concentrate more on my kids then her.

SM, you have every right to make this call. However, I wouldn't make it and then let her drive the bus. If you want her out, tell her you want her out by the 15th. Or whatever day YOU pick. Don't let her choose when she goes, or she won't. She'll waffle and try to stay in the house.

Remove money from all marital financial accounts that she can access. Marital funds should not be used to fund the affair, including the renting of an affair nest.

Remove her from any of your credit cards that she is authorized to use. Look at your finances and figure out if there is a way she can negatively affect you financially, and plug that hole. Waywards have been known to financially destroy their spouse during an affair.

File for divorce.

If you tell her she needs to go, with some vague date, like "You need to leave real soon" you're leaving the door open for her to figure out how to stay and continue cake-eating.

WE understand that you want to be DONE. WE understand the pain.

If you decide to try to do things the MB way, things like this will be hard to erase from her mind, and will make it harder for you.

Your choice. WE will be here to help you through the MB plans if you decide to go that route.

If you said these things just to gain control and manipulate her into doing things YOUR way, it was for the wrong reasons.

It is often advisable for BSs not to make any life altering decisions for at least 6 months after DDay so they don't do something they will later regret.

Have you read other people's threads? I would suggest you read GJM's thread.