another very new way of cheating wife
'''she is like my sister""""
but they will discuss romantic novels only !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hehehe

CrAZY!

hm !!!!!! sorry
but that was not a joke
that was /is what my wh is telling me abt his ow
yes am yet to confirm it

isnt it the worst form of cheating?!!!!!!!!

Yet to confirm? You have a good ear for fog! Horribly typically mad. You wonder how these waywards manage to tie their shoes in this fog...

Good luck getting to the bottom of things and busting up that fog!

Bump

This thread is so acurate and true. But, after reading this, it is making me question my progress with my FWW.

Three strong months into recovery (as it seems), things appear to be going much better than I had dreamed.

Here is what I perceive to be happening now: Total remorse, total committment, says she will do 'whatever it takes for as long as it takes to earn your trust and love', transparency (or so it seems), EP's in place, committment to MB, meeting each others EN's as we have never before done in our marriage.

That is why this thread is helpful but making me take a step back and evaluate.

Words SEEM to be backed by action. However, after a 9 month FR, my guard is still up pretty high, as it should be. I verify and validate everything to the best of my abilities.

The signs that the storm has passed are all there.

But has it really passed?
When will the point come where things are indeed what they seem?

This sucks!!!

It takes at least two years to get to a point where you can feel somewhat safe, but some take a little longer. Keep working...You're doing great.

Bump

In the spirit of this thread I'll post WH response to my exposure to OW FB friends.

BS,

I cannot believe you have sent messages to OW's friends. You have breached both OW's and my privacy and reinforced to our friends that you are not behaving in a rational and sane manner which gives me grave concerns for the safety of my children.

I will be contacting my solicitor to discuss the appropriate action.

I am a grown man who is capable of making his own decisions. I left you before I started a relationship with OW the transition was simply two weeks which I lived in the house...

I first decided to leave you in 1997 and only hung around for the kids. I have no intention of ever reconciling the marriage and will be applying for divorce at the first available opportunity.

The only reason I ended up marrying you was because I got sucked into the "must look after her because she is grieving" thing ... I already didn't find you attractive in body and spirit at that time! It is a decision that I have regretted for the past twenty years. The only exception is my children!

I really don't like you. I don't even think enough of you to hate you!

I am concerned for the damage you are doing to our children with messages like "I am trying to get our family back together" (from DS6 along with a few other choice conversations).

It is a shame that you have chosen to embarass yourself in this manner. Perhaps you should seek professional help for your irrational behaviours and thinking. This will also help assist you in recognising that the marriage is over.


Amazing not only the re write of our history but the story gets better each time. Current version is he never wanted to marry me, the week before he wan't happy the last 15+ years.

The projections are mindboggling - I need professional help for my irrational behaviour and he wants to fire sale our assets and increase our mortgage to fund their affair.

Its really sad my efforts to fight for our family, protect our financial security, support children, teach them values and be honest is damaging, but exposing them to infidelity, lies and badmouthing me and notrecognising their pain isn't damaging

How about the string of text messages I received, out of the blue, unprovoked, while WH was on vacation with OW. He saw the kids a month ago, on Easter, after throwing a fit and causing a scene. Prior to that, maybe 3 months ago? He's a busy man, working to pay for child support and biweekly vacations with prostitutes. Who was home, taking care of the kids and dealing with real life at the time, while he was lying on the beach texting? Oh yeah - me.

"I'm not doing anything to damage the kids. You are the one who is damaging them because you are allowing the fact that I am in love with another woman to destroy you. I have a right to be happy. You're no fun to be around. You can't relax. The kids will be fine. Set a better example for them. Buck up and deal with life. Act like a grown up. I have done nothing to hurt my children. It is your refusal to move on that is hurting them. Go find someone, anyone, and move on."

He neglects to mention that up until 4 months ago he begged me NOT to move on, to wait for him to get his act together, he loved me and the kids and was working on it. Oh, and yes, grabbing the first married man I could get my hands on while I am still married, like his 13-year-old mentality OW, would definitely set a better example for my children of how to buck up and act like a grown up. And how to relax? Hmm . . . Well, maybe if my millionaire husband paid for my decadent lifestyle, my plastic surgeries, my shopping sprees, my cushy life so I could lie around with nothing to do but look up middle school boyfriends on Facebook and see if I could break up their families 25 years later just for fun, and then maybe if said husband was even good enough to stay home with the kids while I went off on vacation with my boyfriend every other week - someone else's husband who was delighted at the privilege to spend even more money on me and kiss my butt while I lie on the beach . . . yes, I think maybe I could learn to be a little more relaxed. I'll get right on that.

I thought I would re post this and add a few quotes from WH along the way to help show the illogical mind of a wayward. I hope this helps any new BS reading this thread to understand and accept their foggy babble is a re write of history. You have your memories and you really know the truth, try not to doubt yourself.

Quoted from WH a few days/week prior to DD:

"I don't know if I still love you"

"I did love you madly, but I am not there now"

"I simply do not love you anymore. I respect you as an intelligent caring person, who I once loved and the mother of our children. I do not believe you can fall back in love"

"We can be great friends moving forward"

This conflicts with his statements in his email above - didn't want to marry me, doesn't like me or think enough of me to hate me. When he announced moving out he stated that it would be silly to "maintain an illusion for his parents visit b/c his mother (retired pyschologist) would see through it" .... funny he now believes he fooled her for 20yrs.... he should be nominated for a grammy!

I hope sharing this helps.

happyfuture, what a terrible letter to receive. I hope you don't believe a word of it! This is typical re-writing history, creating justifications and fog babble.

((((hugs))) to you. I'm sure it hurt regardless.

Rocketqueen, I know its wayward babble, its a total conflict of our history, his actions and what he has said in the past, even cards he's given me tell a different story. Its sad to think WH could write this. I posted on this thread hoping it might help anyone new to MB to hopefully understand that WS speak fogbabble and re write history.

I know when he does come out of the fog he is really going to struggle with his behaviour and the pain he has caused.

GREAT THREAD! I've got one who lies so much that he is convinced his lies are truth. He tells me he is going out for a bike ride yesterday and takes his cell phone with him.
Firs time in 15 years he goes out for a bike ride and when I ask him if he called her, he says "who?"

It is pathetic and almost laughable. What is even more pathetic is that he is SO STUPID to believe that I am actually that stupid.

Whenever I read this thread I am reminded of the book written by Judge Judy Sheindlin.

It is titled .....

Don't pee on my leg and tell me it's raining

BUMP

AND BUMP!

Lets remember here people.....


Lies are the top tool of the wayward and listening will make us blind.

Dont follow the foolish ones off a cliff....

Bump for lost soul

Bumping up for the newbies.