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Yes SW, stay in Plan A. If she comes at you in anger, just say you're just trying to save your marriage. After I exposed I was told a lot of hateful things, but I kept coming with niceness and charm. I kept finding reasons to talk to my W.
Me: BH 36 Her: WW 34 Kids: D 14, S 12, S 9 DDay 1-6/2009 DDay 2-9/2011 DDay 3-11/2011 Filed for D 10/2011-Papers Served 11/2011 Divorce final May 24, 2012 My Story
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Scotland, are you saying that the exposure is the stick? I'm confused. So after exposure I stay in Plan A? She's not going to care about me meeting her needs, in Plan A. Though I guess GJM was in Plan A after exposure. I'm confused. Yes, I am saying that exposure is part of the stick of Plan A. Have you read the Carrot and Stick of Plan A thread? Yes, you stay IN Plan A. Of course she isn't going to let you meet her ENs right now, that's not the point of Plan A. You are just showing her your willingness to meet those needs, in the future, should she decide to end her A.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING  Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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Alright, SW, what are you doing? Been sitting here waiting for an update. Almost thought I heard a clang clang out of you today and came back to lend support.
Talk to me
Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
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How is the FACEBOOK exposure going? Is it complete yet?
Remember it is a very excellent sign if your WW is really really angry. Let's see how much damage EXPOSURE can do to her fantasy.
Waiting to hear ...
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All the best to you, stillwaiting, I know EXACTLY what you are going through right now (I just did my exposure tonight myself so I am now facing the aftermath of it). Hard as heck but I am still doing my best to stay strong. You can do it, too, don't let any anger (and there WILL be boatloads of it) deter your goal.
Trying to save your marriage just proves that you are much stronger than the one who is to weak to do the same. You should be darn proud of yourself.
Good luck!
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All the best to you, stillwaiting, I know EXACTLY what you are going through right now (I just did my exposure tonight myself so I am now facing the aftermath of it). Hard as heck but I am still doing my best to stay strong. You can do it, too, don't let any anger (and there WILL be boatloads of it) deter your goal.
Trying to save your marriage just proves that you are much stronger than the one who is to weak to do the same. You should be darn proud of yourself.
Good luck! I'm starting to love me some Dawn! You have my respect.
Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
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I'm working on the list now. I took the day off from work to gather my thoughts and hang with my parents, and got home a short while ago. I will begin shortly. Stand by.
Me: 49
WW: 45
Married almost 23 years
Together 26+ years
DS18
DD15
D-Day: 7/28/11
Separated: 11/18/11
WW filed for D on 2/14/12 (3 days after near full exposure)
D final: 9/17/12
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I feel like I can get in legal trouble for doing this. What if friends of OM decide to come back at me for sending them something like this? They can say I'm harassing them by send this message?
I'm serious about this. I don't mind sending to WW friends, and to OM's relatives, but I'm having a hard time with friends of OM that I don't know.
Me: 49
WW: 45
Married almost 23 years
Together 26+ years
DS18
DD15
D-Day: 7/28/11
Separated: 11/18/11
WW filed for D on 2/14/12 (3 days after near full exposure)
D final: 9/17/12
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Posts: 380
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Do they have to be your friend on FB in order to message them? Or can anyone message anybody?
Me: 49
WW: 45
Married almost 23 years
Together 26+ years
DS18
DD15
D-Day: 7/28/11
Separated: 11/18/11
WW filed for D on 2/14/12 (3 days after near full exposure)
D final: 9/17/12
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You can message them if they have a "send message" button. You cannot harrass unless you continue to message after being told to stop.
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)
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Forgive my questions, but if I'm sending to a person I'm not friends with, and say their name is John Smith, then will this message go to every John Smith on Facebook?
Me: 49
WW: 45
Married almost 23 years
Together 26+ years
DS18
DD15
D-Day: 7/28/11
Separated: 11/18/11
WW filed for D on 2/14/12 (3 days after near full exposure)
D final: 9/17/12
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Posts: 380
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Posts: 380 |
You can message them if they have a "send message" button. You cannot harrass unless you continue to message after being told to stop. Wait, so how do I do this? Go to that person's FB page and click message from there? Or do I select message from the top of my page, enter their name, and send message? If it is from their page, then I suppose it would be assured of going to the correct 'John Smith'?
Me: 49
WW: 45
Married almost 23 years
Together 26+ years
DS18
DD15
D-Day: 7/28/11
Separated: 11/18/11
WW filed for D on 2/14/12 (3 days after near full exposure)
D final: 9/17/12
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Get it done.
You are. NOT harassing anyone by sending ONE message.
And it is the TRUTH which is a legal defense for any slander or libel claim.
Stop second guessing and excuses. Kill the affair.
You're going off on a tangent about OM and the ring -- but understand that your wife has told him LIES about the status of your marriage. That is yet another reason to expose......
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Do I send the message from the actual persons page? Could someone please let me know?
Guys, do I send message to OM also? I know, dumb question, but need to know.
Not stalling, just trying to get my ducks in a row so I can pull this off smoothly.
Me: 49
WW: 45
Married almost 23 years
Together 26+ years
DS18
DD15
D-Day: 7/28/11
Separated: 11/18/11
WW filed for D on 2/14/12 (3 days after near full exposure)
D final: 9/17/12
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Posts: 380
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Posts: 380 |
Hello? Anyone available to answer questions above. Want to get the ball rolling.
Me: 49
WW: 45
Married almost 23 years
Together 26+ years
DS18
DD15
D-Day: 7/28/11
Separated: 11/18/11
WW filed for D on 2/14/12 (3 days after near full exposure)
D final: 9/17/12
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Posts: 380
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Posts: 380 |
Wish I could get MelodyLane's take on this also. Do I send message to OM's friends on Facebook, or just his family?
Me: 49
WW: 45
Married almost 23 years
Together 26+ years
DS18
DD15
D-Day: 7/28/11
Separated: 11/18/11
WW filed for D on 2/14/12 (3 days after near full exposure)
D final: 9/17/12
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Posts: 1,080
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Hello? Anyone available to answer questions above. Want to get the ball rolling. SW I am not familiar with FB. Dont use it. From what I read in the article by ML it says Private message (PM). I would think that is on the individuals page. Do you have a friend you could try it on and would let you know if it comes through? nESRE
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SW,
Click the persons name and then message. It will be private
Me: BH 36 Her: WW 34 Kids: D 14, S 12, S 9 DDay 1-6/2009 DDay 2-9/2011 DDay 3-11/2011 Filed for D 10/2011-Papers Served 11/2011 Divorce final May 24, 2012 My Story
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Posts: 380
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Posts: 380 |
What about other man? Send to him as well? His friends too (not just his family)?
Me: 49
WW: 45
Married almost 23 years
Together 26+ years
DS18
DD15
D-Day: 7/28/11
Separated: 11/18/11
WW filed for D on 2/14/12 (3 days after near full exposure)
D final: 9/17/12
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Posts: 14
Junior Member
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Junior Member
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Posts: 14 |
BW Me, 56
WH, him 58
DS 25, 20, DD 23
EA (woman from his past contacted him on Facebook and EA started 7/09)
DD 8/9/09
NC 9/22/09
EA restarts 7/20/12
I learn of it 4/11/13
DD 7/8/13
Filed for Separation 7/26/13
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