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Tell the truth........"my kids are mortified and you are ripping my family apart". If he has any conscience, which he may not if he's a psychopath like my POSOM, he'll feel really badly.
I feel so horrible for you because your WW is so fogged out. I was suicidal during my foggy time even though I never left my home. It really is the chemicals in the brain. She will come down off her high, like my friend did, and she'll be disgusted with herself.
I hope this helps. I'm certainly no expert!
CT
Me: WW41
Hubby: BH40...My Amazing forgiving man (CharpyTest)
DD: 8 DS: 8 DD: 6
EA/PA: 3 years
May 25, 2011 (Formal NC letter sent)
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I wouldn't be surprised if the OM jumps to change his number after that first text.
OMs and OWs are scared of having to face the betrayed in any way and scurry to hide....generally.
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You could also tell him that you'll get as many people as you can to stop doing business with him because he's a liar and has no integrity or sense of family values.
Me: BH 36 Her: WW 34 Kids: D 14, S 12, S 9 DDay 1-6/2009 DDay 2-9/2011 DDay 3-11/2011 Filed for D 10/2011-Papers Served 11/2011 Divorce final May 24, 2012 My Story
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I need advice or help on this - is there anything that I can text the OM that will get him thinking. Anything that anyone has successfully tried? I do not want to keep pestering OM and come across as desperate, because I'm not. I would like to take small, well defined and strategically targeting messages to him. No leave OM alone, go after all his friends and family. That is how you kick his [censored]. EXPOSE as wide and far as possible. Even grandma if you have to.
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PI is right in that you must expose first then you can go after OM.
I haven't read through your entire post. Who is OM? What does he do for a living? Who is his ex-wife?
Find out as much about him as you can so you can destroy him! You owe your wife nothing even if you did have an A yourself. You made good on that and didn't do it again.
Me: WW41
Hubby: BH40...My Amazing forgiving man (CharpyTest)
DD: 8 DS: 8 DD: 6
EA/PA: 3 years
May 25, 2011 (Formal NC letter sent)
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Thanks for all the advice. I'm making a FB list and planning to send out tonight.
I'm also going to email the same FB letter to the doctor (kind of her boss) she works with. He's not on FB, but will email.
I'm going to take the FB route first without texting the OM anymore at this moment.
Also looked on OM FB page and his profile pic is now a picture of him and my wife!!! He changed it on Jan 29.
This guy is scum! How can you post on FB you and a married woman! Guess it depends on what people know. Hence the reason for the FB message.
Is everyone ok with my FB message I'm going to send? I would like some feedback. I did change one part to this:
The purpose of the separation was not to work on our marriage as I was led to believe, but so that she could carry on her affair without my interference.
Please let me know your thoughts everyone. Thanks!
Me: 49
WW: 45
Married almost 23 years
Together 26+ years
DS18
DD15
D-Day: 7/28/11
Separated: 11/18/11
WW filed for D on 2/14/12 (3 days after near full exposure)
D final: 9/17/12
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I need advice or help on this - is there anything that I can text the OM that will get him thinking. Anything that anyone has successfully tried? I do not want to keep pestering OM and come across as desperate, because I'm not. I would like to take small, well defined and strategically targeting messages to him. No leave OM alone, go after all his friends and family. That is how you kick his [censored]. EXPOSE as wide and far as possible. Even grandma if you have to. Exactly. You had your say. Going back now you will only sound winey to the OM. If OM was afraid he wouldn't go around doin' married women. OM knows there is nothing you can do to him where he won't get the better of you. Example: You go to beat up OM and do so, OM has you arrested, while you spend several nights in jail, while OM spends several nights with WW in your bed, plus OM gets to then sue you for damages as a result of the beat down. OM beats you up instead, Om gets off with self defense claim, while your in hospital bed for several nights, OM in your bed with your wife. Now the way you can hit the OM where it hurts is hit him hard. Don't use no jab, cross, or upper cut, repeatedly and throughly expose the OM. There is no way the OM can stop you. No way for you to come out with the short end of the stick.
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Oh......I'm so sorry. He is scum. Facebook is evil. What a pig he is. He sure is gutsy. She is still YOUR wife.
The fact that you wife allowed him to post that picture says a lot about her. Have your kids seen it? Sounds like you deserve better!
Nail him any way you can with exposure. Make sure his ex-wife knows as well.
Me: WW41
Hubby: BH40...My Amazing forgiving man (CharpyTest)
DD: 8 DS: 8 DD: 6
EA/PA: 3 years
May 25, 2011 (Formal NC letter sent)
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Sounds like he's a psychopath or extreme narcissist. People like that......well, their reputations need to be ruined. Then he'll resent your wife for it.....not you.
Destroy him!!!
Me: WW41
Hubby: BH40...My Amazing forgiving man (CharpyTest)
DD: 8 DS: 8 DD: 6
EA/PA: 3 years
May 25, 2011 (Formal NC letter sent)
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Thanks for all the advice. I'm making a FB list and planning to send out tonight.
I'm also going to email the same FB letter to the doctor (kind of her boss) she works with. He's not on FB, but will email.
I'm going to take the FB route first without texting the OM anymore at this moment.
Also looked on OM FB page and his profile pic is now a picture of him and my wife!!! He changed it on Jan 29.
This guy is scum! How can you post on FB you and a married woman! Guess it depends on what people know. Hence the reason for the FB message.
Is everyone ok with my FB message I'm going to send? I would like some feedback. I did change one part to this:
The purpose of the separation was not to work on our marriage as I was led to believe, but so that she could carry on her affair without my interference.
Please let me know your thoughts everyone. Thanks! Finally hearing some clang. Take a screenshot of that FB page for safe keeping. Paste it into a Word doc. Vets, what do you think about SW emailing that pic to certain influential members of her family? And show the kids maybe...at least DS17?
Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
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TW........great idea! Take OM's narcissim and WW's selfishness and use it against them!
For sure, print out that picture AND right click choose "save as" and save it on a disk or thumb drive for future use. It might help you should you ever need it during divorce proceedings!
Ugh......I can't get over what a pig he is!
Me: WW41
Hubby: BH40...My Amazing forgiving man (CharpyTest)
DD: 8 DS: 8 DD: 6
EA/PA: 3 years
May 25, 2011 (Formal NC letter sent)
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Ugh......I can't get over what a pig he is! You think this is bad go and read PSUBiker's and Pariah's thread. Whew! But, yeah, this OM is very disgusting as well.
Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
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How do you search for someone's thread? Is it possible?
Me: WW41
Hubby: BH40...My Amazing forgiving man (CharpyTest)
DD: 8 DS: 8 DD: 6
EA/PA: 3 years
May 25, 2011 (Formal NC letter sent)
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Click the search tab and type the person's user name. Then you can click posts or topics created.
Me: BH 36 Her: WW 34 Kids: D 14, S 12, S 9 DDay 1-6/2009 DDay 2-9/2011 DDay 3-11/2011 Filed for D 10/2011-Papers Served 11/2011 Divorce final May 24, 2012 My Story
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My only question is whether OM can sue me for slander or defamation of character by using his name in the FB letter and accusing him of having an A with my WW.
Me: 49
WW: 45
Married almost 23 years
Together 26+ years
DS18
DD15
D-Day: 7/28/11
Separated: 11/18/11
WW filed for D on 2/14/12 (3 days after near full exposure)
D final: 9/17/12
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My only question is whether OM can sue me for slander or defamation of character by using his name in the FB letter and accusing him of having an A with my WW. Nope, it's not slander or defamation. It's the truth. Can't get sued for that.
Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
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You're also making the letter endearing and asking to influence the OM to stop the affair.
Me: BH 36 Her: WW 34 Kids: D 14, S 12, S 9 DDay 1-6/2009 DDay 2-9/2011 DDay 3-11/2011 Filed for D 10/2011-Papers Served 11/2011 Divorce final May 24, 2012 My Story
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My only question is whether OM can sue me for slander or defamation of character by using his name in the FB letter and accusing him of having an A with my WW. Can't get sued for telling the truth.
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Exactly, can't get sued for telling the truth.
Only one thing that I had a problem with, you aren't going to go into Plan B after you expose. That's not what Plan A is about. THis is the STICK. You don't expose and run in this case.
Do remember that when you expose, and your WW finds out, you are going to get blasted about how evil and cruel you are.
You're doing the right thing.
I would show your children the pic, especially if they don't know what OM looks like.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING  Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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Scotland, are you saying that the exposure is the stick? I'm confused. So after exposure I stay in Plan A? She's not going to care about me meeting her needs, in Plan A. Though I guess GJM was in Plan A after exposure. I'm confused.
Me: 49
WW: 45
Married almost 23 years
Together 26+ years
DS18
DD15
D-Day: 7/28/11
Separated: 11/18/11
WW filed for D on 2/14/12 (3 days after near full exposure)
D final: 9/17/12
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