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I got two messages back from FB. Both were in support of me.
Me: 49 WW: 45 Married almost 23 years Together 26+ years DS18 DD15 D-Day: 7/28/11 Separated: 11/18/11 WW filed for D on 2/14/12 (3 days after near full exposure) D final: 9/17/12
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I'm positive it's saying she wants to get the divorce started, that would be my guess. I'd say you're right. She's going to want to go off on you and say anything she can think of that could hurt you. This is all very typical, Still.
D-Day 2-10-2009 Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever! Thank you Marriage Builders!
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If she wants it, she can do it by herself. Exactly right
Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Did get another message reply back. It was from a friend and it was neutral. She basically said that she has talked to WW maybe 5 times since last summer and she never got the feeling that my wife wanted to 'work' on our marriage, and that we should work together to end the marriage.
I'm not in denial about this, but my wife has to initiate it, and maybe the FB thing will make her do it.
What I don't know is whether my wife is just in the affair fog, or if she really is thinking rationally and wants out, but yet doesn't want to file for some reason.
My BIL thinks she doesn't want to file because why should she? She can do pretty much anything she wants to with this guy, just can't marry him. And if doesn't work out, she can still come back because we're legally married.
So I really don't know what she's thinking. I do know that even if she truly wants to end it, then she has to file. I talked to a lawyer and there's no advantage to me filing first.
I do however think that this FB thing has pushed her over the edge in terms of D. But, I also know that she will flip one way then the other virtually overnight. So I'm going to ignore her for the rest of the weekend and let her just think.
Last edited by stillwaiting1963; 02/11/12 12:29 PM.
Me: 49 WW: 45 Married almost 23 years Together 26+ years DS18 DD15 D-Day: 7/28/11 Separated: 11/18/11 WW filed for D on 2/14/12 (3 days after near full exposure) D final: 9/17/12
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Wife tried calling home phone. Ignored.
Me: 49 WW: 45 Married almost 23 years Together 26+ years DS18 DD15 D-Day: 7/28/11 Separated: 11/18/11 WW filed for D on 2/14/12 (3 days after near full exposure) D final: 9/17/12
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Wife tried calling home phone. Ignored. Good! So tell me, are you starting to feel a little better about yourself? You should be.
Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
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I'm actually feeling pretty bad because I know where this is heading. Talked to my sister and she said WW talked or texted her. WW said I was threatening her.
My sister said something about WW saying she was waiting until the end of this month to file for divorce because then DS will turn 18. Then there will only be DD who is a minor.
Me: 49 WW: 45 Married almost 23 years Together 26+ years DS18 DD15 D-Day: 7/28/11 Separated: 11/18/11 WW filed for D on 2/14/12 (3 days after near full exposure) D final: 9/17/12
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WW texted telling me to man up and stop hiding behind texts and the computer. I get so sick of her telling me to man up.
Why can't she man up and do the right thing? If she has to file, then file. Cause I'm sure she isn't coming back.
Me: 49 WW: 45 Married almost 23 years Together 26+ years DS18 DD15 D-Day: 7/28/11 Separated: 11/18/11 WW filed for D on 2/14/12 (3 days after near full exposure) D final: 9/17/12
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Wife and MIL both called and talked to DS. Wanted to know if DS was ok and if he wanted to come over. WW was crying.
Me: 49 WW: 45 Married almost 23 years Together 26+ years DS18 DD15 D-Day: 7/28/11 Separated: 11/18/11 WW filed for D on 2/14/12 (3 days after near full exposure) D final: 9/17/12
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My BIL thinks she doesn't want to file because why should she? She can do pretty much anything she wants to with this guy, just can't marry him. And if doesn't work out, she can still come back because we're legally married.
. SW Thats history and WW thinking that she can waltz back in at any time. Your changing the game here. Your driving the bus now and in full control. Good for you taking a stand for your M and family. nESRE
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WW texted telling me to man up and stop hiding behind texts and the computer. I get so sick of her telling me to man up.
Why can't she man up and do the right thing? If she has to file, then file. Cause I'm sure she isn't coming back. Uh, that's exactly what you are doing! Don't take anything she says today to heart. Nothing could have less meaning right now than what she is spewing. Remember, she just got the mother of all rude awakenings for waywards and their betrayal. Expect nothing but venom today. This is very much a textbook response. Let it play out. Ya' done good!
Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
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How did your son respond? Your W crying shows guilt and a little remorse.
Me: BH 36 Her: WW 34 Kids: D 14, S 12, S 9 DDay 1-6/2009 DDay 2-9/2011 DDay 3-11/2011 Filed for D 10/2011-Papers Served 11/2011 Divorce final May 24, 2012 My Story
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Wife and MIL both called and talked to DS. Wanted to know if DS was ok and if he wanted to come over. WW was crying. Have you explained to DS that you have exposed his mother's affair, and why? She and MIL will spin this - make sure your son knows the truth.
D-Day 2-10-2009 Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever! Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Expect stuff like in the movie The Exorcist.
Vile threats and promising.
Do not engage with them.
If she says she is filing for divorce. Do not engage on discussion about it.
If you are afraid from what she tries to converse or say.....do not respond to it.
If she were to file for divorce, lawyer up and let your lawyer do the dirty work of discussing it on your behalf. I doubt she will file but if she does, do not panic.
Think passive resistance
After exposure it is powerful to implement passive resistance to handle the wayward concerning your exposure and or their talk of divorce.
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Keep up the good fight, Still. You are the man!
Adulterers hate being exposed. You should have seen how angry my WXW was. My mistake was I didn't expose enough though. I didn't kill off the affair. You can do it.
BH(Me)=40 WXW=38 ILYBNILWY: 8/09 DDAY: 8/31/09 Two boys: 8,7 Divorced 3/23/2011
Don't let your eyes refuse to see. Don't let your ears refuse to hear. Or you ain't never gonna shake this sense of sadness. --Ray Lamontagne
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Did get another message reply back. It was from a friend and it was neutral. She basically said that she has talked to WW maybe 5 times since last summer and she never got the feeling that my wife wanted to 'work' on our marriage, and that we should work together to end the marriage. Don't listen to this friend either. Of course she's not going to get the feeling your WW would want to work on your marriage when she is fully engaged in an affair.
Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
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*edit*
Last edited by MBSeasons; 02/11/12 02:31 PM. Reason: Non-MB advice
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I got two messages back from FB. Both were in support of me. Who were they?
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Last edited by MBSeasons; 02/11/12 02:32 PM. Reason: Removing quote
Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
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uh, BestPlayer.......it is not that simple.
He did not call his WW out as a hoe and ask for sympathy from people. He revealed a dreadful secret that his WW and this OM were using to create harm for him and the children.
He isn't a laughing stock for doing what he did. He is brave and loving.
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