One post and this is their first post. Their already MB expert and telling SW is wrong.

Have a marraige go throught an affair then use MB.

Come back then post. Now you are just as fogged as SW's WW.

Well how about not using external pressure.

Well how about this little hint soon as exposure takes place and it is only one person external pressure is brought to bear to end the affair. This is how exposure is works.

Not enough pressure and nothing will happen.

Please stop posting you are only posting how not do an exposure and your ignorance on the subject.

BP

Just a suggestion

You may want to read the terms of service for this site. Also the Basic concepts at the top of the page in the red banner and have a good footing on the MB's program before posting.

No where did SW call his WW out as a Hoe. Thats not the way MB's works. We do not use our opinions we use MB's concepts to help try and save marriages.

Her behavior may imply that but what SW did in no way expressed that in his exposure.

nESRE

That's the problem...you are using your opinion which isn't shared by the Harley's. The members here are not being guided by what they think might work. They are guided by what has proven to work and is the most effective. Doing nothing and hoping one day his W will return will definitely get him a divorce. Read the MB basic concepts and principles (again if you already have) and decide if this place is for you. You don't have to agree with the information here, but it is the most effective way to save a marriage.

Please refrain from posting until you have read the Basic Concepts of this site and are prepared to post advice based on Marriage Builders concepts.

SW

You still with us?

Just wondering how your doing.

nESRE

Thinking of you SW - So proud of you.

No one hides when a murderer or a thief is on the loose, so why hide when an adulterer is on the loose.

Everyone, I'm still here and doing ok. Thanks for coming to my defense on BP post. I didn't get a chance to see it before it was edited. Just as well, doesn't sound like it was encouraging.

Last text I got from my wife was: "U better come up with some kind of story....u know the kids will ultimately b affected by ur actions."

I don't understand how they can. DS said he already knew what was going on. How can this affect them more? I'm wondering if my W doesn't think I sent the message to ALL of her friends, which would include many of DS and DD's friends. But I did not do that. Only to adult friends and family. And it wasn't to everyone on her list.

WW's aunt replied back nicely and said that I may just have to come to acceptance that the marriage is probably over. She's very sweet and wasn't mean.

Although that is MIL's sister, so I guarantee they were on the phone talking this morning and WW was there saying that the marriage is over.

I guess it's just a matter of timing for when WW will file. It's probably been that way all along. Just don't know why she's waiting so long.

Once again, back to the question is she just a wayward wife in the fog, or is she really a wife wanting out, just going about it the wrong and selfish way? Who knows.

She's definitely wayward and foggy. It could take some time for her to come out of it. Once the affair is over, she will have time to think about everything in her life. That's why Dr Harley recommends 6 months in Plan A and a year and a half of Plan B. If you can Plan A longer than 6 months, then by all means do it. He recommends no more than 2 years for the combined effort though.

Remember what I said about anything she says today being meaningless?

You're projecting again, and it's way too early to be making predictions about what will or will not happen. Another thing is, you don't know what's going on on Fantasy Island right now. Probably a WHOLE LOT of LBing going on that you have no idea about.

I was thinking a little while ago that your hesitancy in exposing might have actually worked in your favor (this time). That FB pic was exposure gold, and an incredibly stupid move on their/his part. I guarantee you some serious words are being batted back and forth over that idiotic decision.

Not trying to pump you full of false hope or anything like that, but let exposure finish it's job. Believe me, even though you're finished on your end, it's still churning out there.

I didn't mention anything about the picture in my initial exposure. People may have seen it or drawn attention to his page with my letter.

I do have a copy of it for safe keeping, but I have not sent it to anybody. BIL's know about it though.

How silly. You don't need to come up with a 'story'. You are telling the truth. DUH on her.

You are doing remarkably well, sw, keep it up.

It sounds like you are actually having a better time with responses to those you exposed to on FB than I am. So far, I only received two responses and neither of them were kind in the least (and these two are also two of the ones bashing me on FB).

Oh well, let them stew, better them be in pathetic moods today then me, lol. Granted, I'm not doing cartwheels of enjoyment right now but I'm still making it through the day appearing just as happy-go-lucky as ever.

Hold tight, sw, you are definitely working in the right direction.

That's alright, you've still got it as irrefutable proof in case it's needed. I may have missed it but didn't you say you told the kids about it?

Still,

You did a great job protecting your family and saving your wife from herself, she doesn't realize it yet but she will when she calms down and has a chance to see her life for what it is, now that the fantasy life has hit real life......
I would not engage in any kind of dialoge about the exposure or the children, just tell the children the truth and tell her that is what you will say to them nothing else, they deserve to know why and what is happening to their lives......
Just keep it simple and tell her you love her and will do whatever you have to do to save your marriage.....
She is crashing and is finally feeling what damage she has done to her own life as well as her family..............let that happen...
She will need a few days to blow off all that steam and then she will come to her senses and realize you are saving her from her stupid self and that you are the one willing to forgive and stand with her and for her in this marriage....
I would rest up as much as you can in the next couple of days you are going to need to be sharp and very patient, she will test you over and over again and call you every name she can think of to try to blame you for what she has chosen to do to the family.......she will see there is no way out now that the world knows who she is and what she is doing.......
I will tell you every Wayward that is exposed does exactly the same thing........
Be still, breathe and be proud of how you stepped up to the plate when you had to, it doesn't always work but you given it the best shot you could have given yourself, everyone even her family and friends know it's not right to chose that kind of selfish choice, it's not right to hurt your family

still, your strength is amazing! well done on the exposure. yes, your ww is foggy. hang in there and work the programme. all this hard work will pay off for you. the support here is fantastic.

The answer is: all three! She is having an affair but really doesn't know what she wants. She has no more clue what wants than a falling down drunk.

She didn't want out of the marriage until her affair began. Understand that. If she did, she would have gotten out, and not had an affair in the first place. That's the usual way for waywards. They tell you that it's been over for x many years, that they have never been happy, that the OP has NOTHING to do with it, but it's all a bunch of hooey. The affair is the ONLY reason that they want out now, and the history re-write is their way of justifying it. It's just sad how nowadays, people will be okay and even encourage people to date even though they are still married to someone else. Just ridiculous.

Stay strong. I received 1 message back from my exposure to OW's family on FB(I didn't copy all of the list and was blocked before I had a chance to expose to everyone, I regret that now). It was from an uncle of OW's. He said, "I know OW, but I do not know you." That was IT. I wish that my exposure had a bigger effect, as yours seems to be. Good job.

I hate to see a new poster getting shut down early just because they haven't taken the time to read up on the concepts here. BestPlayer, I'd like to invite you to start your own thread and tell us about your situation. Welcome to Marriage Builders!