Yes, both kids know of photo. I showed DS and DD came across it, or somehow found out about it.

Hoo boy..give it time. I would love to be a fly on the wall during WW's next conversation with DS and DD. Ima betting it will NOT be pretty.

I sat back and tried to put myself in my W's shoes. If it was me doing the cheating and my friends and family were being notified of what I was doing, I would be petrified. Especially if I didn't know the extent of how many people were notified.

I wouldn't know when I was out in public who was looking at me thinking Lord knows what. I wouldn't know what the people at work were really thinking. I guess it would depend what I was telling people up to that point.

At the same time I would be very embarrassed and even humiliated. Again, it depends on what I've already told people in the past.

I would also have bouts of anger that my wife would do this to me. But I am the type that would be more embarrassed and scared rather than angry.

I don't know if my wife has the capacity to be embarrassed and humiliated. I would think she would be defiant and angry, but I feel she must have some capacity to feel embarrassment.

But I think because of the unknown element of who all was notified, it would definitely change the dynamics of the A. I would think it would take it from a comfortable, effortless level to a different level.

Not sure what that level would be. Comments?

I'm hoping they say something. They're both getting to the point where they're tired of the whole thing. They hate what's going on. I want them to continue to vent to WW about their dislikes, but I don't want to manipulate them.

You're forgetting one "little" thing; Losing her children's respect.

SW, question: Are you an engineer by chance?

Close, I'm in Information Technology. I do database administration. Some Linux server administration. Why?

You have not done anything wrong.

Your WW is trying to think up of ways to scare you from exposing. The thing is she doesn't realise that exposure can't be undone.

WW is trying to use fear to pressure you to shut up. Poor fool she does not realise it is too late to close the barn door.

This is why people here are telling to ignore WW's rantings. WW is saying whatever pops into he mind because there is really nothing she can say to you except to spout off utter nonsense.

WW is desperate because she can't fight the truth.

You are just getting standard WW responses. Though as fast as WW response first came in and the amount that her folow up response are coming in indicates that your exposure has been very successful.

Congradulations.

Great start don't weaken.
Don't let WW engage you in any arguments.
WW brings up divorce talk, just say I don't talk divorce then change the subject.

Isn't this odd. For as much as my wife has done to me, I still feel a little sad about exposing her A to this extent. I need to get past that. Like everyone says: focus.

That is because you are a decent guy and you hate seeing her hurt, no matter how deserved it is.

you did great!

Thanks Melody.

Exactly right, and it's something you should be proud of SW.

As for the question, engineers tend to be overly analytical. It's just their nature, and it seems to be yours as well. Not a bad thing at all, mind you. Just very recognizable.

No, you don't have to get past that. That's your heart and your love for her. That's the piece of you that still gives her a way home. Don't lose that until you have to - the day she leaves for good.

We're telling you to focus so you can bring her home.

Yes.

Focus.

Do not feed the tiger. Do not engage in discussions or trying to educate a wayward who is tantruming and wildly reeling from their secret being revealed.

Focus.

Whatever onslaught comes from whatever direction.

Focus.

I just went through this as well SW. Remember what I said I did and how I reacted. Keep pushing forward. You can do this!

My WH is still embarrassed about EXPOSURE. They feel the embarrassment because they know they did wrong. Remember in adultery the adulterer lowers their value system versus changing their behavior. She now looks at the world from a completely different perspective. She is unable to see the world at the same level you see the world.

Only time can tell if she is able to get back her old value system. She can only get it back by making accepting responsibility for her cruelty and abuse.

TW, I will gladly take that as a compliment!

Everyone tells me I over analyze, too analytical. It has it's good sides and bad sides. WW always pointed out that's the way I was.

I'm always curious about the gray area, rather than the mundane black or white.

SW, this is a very good post by PI. Yep, she's extremely embarrassed by exposure, as she should be. She's been so high school giddy in this little fantasy world that she was completely unprepared for the avalanche of truth that blanketed that fantasy. Well, now it has smacked her square in the face and she is ill prepared to handle it. It just got real! And there ain't no going back.

Well, that's just too damned bad! Actions have consequences.

NOW, she's having to face those consequences without the luster of her fantasy to mask what she's done. She is virtually naked in the eyes of the truth because of YOUR actions. She has no defense, and she's in meltdown and panic mode. She's scrambling to explain, but she can't, and she knows it!

Like PI said, only time will tell if your actions are enough to snap her back to her senses. BUT, also having kids of their ages with the knowledge they have of this, the pressure is definitely building. All is NOT well on Fantasy Island right now. You can bet on that.

Her head is spinning right now.

SW, don't look at exposure as an attack on your WW, but instead on helping her. You are helping by exposing the affair. The AFFAIR is the enemy. Exposure helps KILL the AFFAIR. That's it.

I remember when I first arrived here, there were many times that the vets would post about how a WS, after being exposed is like the girl in the exorcist movie. When evil is being shone upon, it tries to FIGHT.

Received a total of 6 FB messages back so far. Three supportive, 1 neutral, 1 neutral/accept it's over, and 1 neutral/social network not the best idea/think of the kids.

I haven't heard boo out of WW since 1:30pm today. No more calls or texts. She's gone silent. I have one voicemail on my droid from WW and at least 5 on home answering machine. I'm afraid to listen to any of them. Not sure if I want to. During the fiasco this morning I would estimate that she tried calling me at least 10 times and MIL tried about 3. They did get through to DS's droid this morning and he answered.

You don't. Remember what I said about not listening to anything she says today, or tomorrow, or the next day? Fog-babble...nothing more, nothing less. You have NO idea just how well you have done to bust this up!

BUT, no expectations and no guarantees.

Well done SW!