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Wow, the Sue and Jon story really strikes home....still reading. Amazing, alot of it is dead on.
I think my WW read this book before starting the A. Spot on.    SW, it's time for you to engage the services of a good divorce attorney. I sincerely wish you well! What? So now I can't read SAA without getting my [censored] jacked? Alright dammit, you wanna get jacked up with me? Fine, I'll get jacked up with you. One last time. You're laying down there in your jammies with your glasses perched precariously on the bridge of your nose, completely understanding and accepting how YOUR wife fell in love with another man and is in his bed right now. I'm NOT saying you are wasting time reading this book. OH NO...not at all! You SHOULD be reading this book, but not right at the moment!! You've asked many posters (myself certainly included) on this board the same questions over and over and over in a vast number of ways and been given the SAME advice over and over and over again. Some of the advice is worded differently, but the advice is all the same. IT DOESN'T CHANGE!! It just won't, no matter how much you want it to. It's a proven method that is FULLY endorsed by the members of this board. If you're just looking for a place to blog, then blog dammit. But have your thread moved over to MB101 so you can just blog away. The people here are here for a purpose. And that's to help BSs that are willing to listen and help THEMSELVES. Alright, I know how much you are hurting. I have been there, but not a 20 some odd year marriage and certainly no kids to have to experience this trauma. (actually I did lose a stepson that I loved more than life itself, but that's irrelevant right now) Yeah, I'm beating you up right now SW. I don't do it to be mean or hateful. I'm here because I want to help. But you have to be willing to accept the advice on this board and put the suggested course of action INTO action. You haven't done this. Let me ask you one more thing. If your kids were to come to you one day and ask; "Daddy, did you do everything you could do to save our family?" How are you going to answer that? TW, not going to get in a pissing match with you. I greatly appreciate the advice I'm receiving here. I will report back when I have something with 'meat' in it.
Me: 49
WW: 45
Married almost 23 years
Together 26+ years
DS18
DD15
D-Day: 7/28/11
Separated: 11/18/11
WW filed for D on 2/14/12 (3 days after near full exposure)
D final: 9/17/12
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Okay TW, he's been 2X4d an awful lot. Let's stay calm and not add to the grief he's already having. Be patient.
SW,
I advise you to listen to what the vets have been telling you. If you don't, they will slowly stop posting to you until you have done what you were advised to do. We all understand your pain, worry, fright, hesitation and anxiety. Don't get discouraged. Some things may not feel right, but they're necessary. Do everything in your power so in the end, you can say you did all you can and walk away knowing you tried. G, with all due respect, I stand by what I posted. I feel for him too, otherwise I wouldn't be here making the effort. You did what he refuses to do. I'm doing my best to get him on a launching pad to save his marriage, but little old me can only do so much. You did what you had to do. My efforts, and rigid posts, are only intended to get his butt moving in the direction in which he should be headed. I won't apologize for that.
Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
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SW, it's not a pissing match. We are all trying to help YOU!
I want to say I'm sorry for the harshness of my last post, because I know how much you are hurting, but I won't do it. I firmly believe in the MB concepts, and apologizing to you for my rant would (to me anyway) be compromising those beliefs.
PLEASE, start listening and take some action.
Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
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I AM listening. Why do you think I did the FB exposure last weekend? I am going to try and find OM's parents. That's all I have left on his side. I'm not going to hire a PI, cannot afford one, so we can drop that. Have an appointment to talk to lawyer tomorrow to see what options are for leaning on OM.
Me: 49
WW: 45
Married almost 23 years
Together 26+ years
DS18
DD15
D-Day: 7/28/11
Separated: 11/18/11
WW filed for D on 2/14/12 (3 days after near full exposure)
D final: 9/17/12
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We all believe in MB, but let's convey the message with compassion not with force. He has his mission.
Me: BH 36 Her: WW 34 Kids: D 14, S 12, S 9 DDay 1-6/2009 DDay 2-9/2011 DDay 3-11/2011 Filed for D 10/2011-Papers Served 11/2011 Divorce final May 24, 2012 My Story
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Have an appointment to talk to lawyer tomorrow to see what options are for leaning on OM. SW, you never told us this. How could any of us possibly know what you are doing if you don't keep us informed? You are our only conduit of info.
Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
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I do believe I've been compassionate G. I've been compassionate with lots of posters. But sometimes it's incumbent upon the members of this board to wave the mighty 2x4 with some pretty serious force to engage an action that is unpalatable.
It is what it is, and yeah...
it sucks
Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Sorry, I just made it yesterday. It's only a phone meeting, all he has available. Have the actual meeting at the end of this month, but didn't want to wait until then to ask these questions.
Me: 49
WW: 45
Married almost 23 years
Together 26+ years
DS18
DD15
D-Day: 7/28/11
Separated: 11/18/11
WW filed for D on 2/14/12 (3 days after near full exposure)
D final: 9/17/12
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So what are you doing in the mean time to get the parent's and other relatives info?
Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Going to search intelius.
Me: 49
WW: 45
Married almost 23 years
Together 26+ years
DS18
DD15
D-Day: 7/28/11
Separated: 11/18/11
WW filed for D on 2/14/12 (3 days after near full exposure)
D final: 9/17/12
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Posts: 380
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Well, exposure sure upset her. I was just served DIVORCE papers!
Me: 49
WW: 45
Married almost 23 years
Together 26+ years
DS18
DD15
D-Day: 7/28/11
Separated: 11/18/11
WW filed for D on 2/14/12 (3 days after near full exposure)
D final: 9/17/12
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Well, exposure sure upset her. I was just served DIVORCE papers! Okay - breathe ... It is far from over. The divorce is going to go through a long process ... there is plenty of time. This is when your stellar Plan A needs to come into action. My WH filed three weeks after his wh0re dumped him due to my exposure. He isn't doing much to make his divorce quick by any means. GJM's situation and Mortarman's are both good locations to start reading about your plan. In the meantime ... WITH A SENSE OF URGENCY ... EXPOSE to OM's parents and rest of family. Get your lawyer to draft a paper stating that divorce means you will counter file on grounds of adultery. You will depose OM, OM's business, his friends, her friends, etc. ... You will be seeking Alimony, Child support, she will not get half your retirement, she won't get the house, she will pay for her credit card debt, etc. OM must be removed from this equation so get a letter delivered to his business (certified mail) by early next week. Get the same letter sent to your WW. This will be your next war front.
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SW, I'm truly sorry. And I also wish to apologize. Not for what I said, but how I said it. I committed a board cardinal sin by letting myself get too involved. It won't happen again.
But, getting served ain't getting divorced. You have to go after this scum bucket. I guarantee you he's the one behind the filing.
Gloves off
Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Well, exposure sure upset her. I was just served DIVORCE papers! This had nothing to do with EXPOSURE. For her to get this delivered to you this quick means she had this drawn up for a while. I guarantee you this is an effort for her to hold onto OM. She is getting nervous about losing him. EXPOSURE put a big heaping hole in their fantasy.
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Finish the job Still and then sit back and watch their adultery crumble like cake.
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The dates on paperwork is 2/14/12. I know my wife enough that I pissed her off and she went and did this on either Monday or Tuesday. That's how petty she is. I pushed her and now she's pushing back. This is how she is. Holds a grudge, etc. Will write mroe, have to get DD to school.
Me: 49
WW: 45
Married almost 23 years
Together 26+ years
DS18
DD15
D-Day: 7/28/11
Separated: 11/18/11
WW filed for D on 2/14/12 (3 days after near full exposure)
D final: 9/17/12
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Well, exposure sure upset her. I was just served DIVORCE papers! This had nothing to do with EXPOSURE. For her to get this delivered to you this quick means she had this drawn up for a while. I guarantee you this is an effort for her to hold onto OM. She is getting nervous about losing him. EXPOSURE put a big heaping hole in their fantasy. Scum bucket is just manipulating her for his own gain. This can be saved. And, PI is right. This had nothing to do with exposure.
Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
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I was just about to asdd what PI stated...had to be in the works for a bit -- ahhhh, the fog.
When my W was lashing out after exposure, she mentioned filing -- hadn't gone through with it -- just mentioned it...
Sooooo...I just mentioned that when she did, I would be counter-filing on grounds of adultery, subpeona the OM -- with phone records, texts, receipts, etc. (meaning, in PUBLIC COURT she'd either have to openly ADMIT to the affair with OM, OR...to save herself/family LIE about the affair, thus throwing the OM under the bus) -- well, let's just say that topic wasn't ever mentioned again by her.
I am sorry, but I don't recall if you exposed to OMs family or employer -- huge in this economy!
KEEP EXPOSING -- KEEP FIGHTING FOR THAT FAMILY OF YOURS!!!
Last edited by helpfordad; 02/17/12 07:09 AM.
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I am sorry, but I don't recall if you exposed to OMs family or employer -- huge in this economy!
KEEP EXPOSING -- KEEP FIGHTING FOR THAT FAMILY OF YOURS!!! No, hfd, he hasn't. That's why I lost my cool last night. But God knows I've tried.
Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
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The dates on paperwork is 2/14/12. I know my wife enough that I pissed her off and she went and did this on either Monday or Tuesday. That's how petty she is. I pushed her and now she's pushing back. This is how she is. Holds a grudge, etc. Will write mroe, have to get DD to school. There is no way - she needed to have a lawyer already because she would have had to fill out a form that is 30 page long to give him information. The key is ... she had her divorce already set up. Because you were freely enabling her adultery all along she was too lazy to file. YES EXPOSURE UPSET HER ... the reasons for her divorce are not you ... it is because her adultery just got complicated. Waywards always take the path of least resistance ... THEY ALL BELIEVE DIVORCE IS THE EASIEST WAY OUT ... She has to get all her lies straight, you know what she was mad about. WW: "Holy chit everyone knows I am a liar ... holy chit I have to make this look like our marriage was over ... holy chit every knows I am a wh0re ... holy chit I have to legitimize my relationship with OM ... holy chit Still actually got Tough ... holy chit how do I make myself look good in the eyes of others ... Oh by divorce ... yes yes then I can lie more to let them all know I was really going to divorce him" She is crapping her pants because she was caught and now needs to legitimize her behavior with what she thinks will be the path of least resistance ... THIS IS WHY YOU COUNTERFILE ON GROUNDS OF ADULTERY AND LET THEM KNOW YOU WILL SUBPEONA THEIR BUTTS FOR THE ENTIRE WORLD TO SEE ...
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