I think I can clear this one up. 36 has obviously had a difficult time finding an IM, and while I know the rules about opposite sex IMs, I contacted her via email to offer my help. I did iterate to her that it would be in her best interest to find one of the same sex, but would help if she came up empty. I know, I know....my mistake. I understand the reasons behind same sex IMs, just felt bad she was having such a difficult time finding one and reached out in an effort to try and be of assistance.

After I emailed her, I saw what she "wrote" to marital bliss and came to the same wrong conclusion as everyone else, that she had betrayed MB's confidence. I then promptly email her back (quite irritated I might add) rescinding my offer to IM. I also suggested that she may have just jeopardized a lot of her support on the boards by "outing" MB. It was written in disappointment and anger, and again, I was wrong. Dead wrong.

I have since offered her my apologies, and now offer them to the board for my contributions to the mess and confusion.

I'll think thrice before offering that kind of "help" again.

Oh, for pity's sake, why? Why did you do this when you know it is wrong? Have you learned nothing from your time here about people who say "I knew it was wrong but I did it anyway"? Who does that kind of language remind you of?

It is not enough to say "my mistake". I'm astonished at you, TigerWes.

That's why I'm stepping away from the boards for a while. Maybe permanently. I'm not helping, I'm hurting, and I not going to be a party to that any longer.

I'm sorry

TigerWes,

I gotta.



But don't you dare run off. Just stick around and pay better attention to MB rules.

364, no, none of that is clear.

And I do wish you would stop trying to make this into an issue of marital bliss' betraying your confidence, and threatening to betray it further. Bliss is not the one who wrote that she was dating while married; YOU were the one who was not, and still is not being, honest with the board about what has gone on with a man or men in your life. So stop suggesting that marital bliss might divulge or misuse information about "my real identity, my financial information, my WH's name, and on and on". That is just your attempt to deflect attention from your attempts to deceive this board. You are trying to make this into an issue about marital bliss's "betrayal" of you, so that we will focus on that and not on your dishonesty to the board, and your apparent dating while married.

As for my not wanting you to post here; don't be so silly and childish. I have never suggested that I don't want you to post here and if I had done, you are under no obligation to listen to me.

Since you are determined to invoke "IM confidentiality" for the reason why you cannot tell us what you wrote to marital bliss, tell us instead what I asked you before.

Have you been out with a man or men since your separation? Under what circumstances - what did you do? Did you go for coffee, lunch, dinner, a movie, a walk...what? Were you ever alone with an individual man? Were you ever out in a group with a man or men? Again, under what circumstances - what did you do on the outing?

Your continual refusal to tell us what you did only makes it clear that you have something to hide. If you do not want people here to see you as dishonest, be honest about what you did - and leave marital bliss out of this.

That's nonsense three, nothing anout your RL identity has been revealed. You owe maritalbliss an apology for even suggesting such a thing.

She simply told you to tell the forum you were dating.When you didn't, she outed you.

I am willing to hear your version of events, but you are not being forthcoming.

Please tell us the truth.

364, perhaps you can see now why JustUss told you not to post your email address on the forum. You lay yourself open to being contacted by any and everybody, in ways that you might not like.

Why did you post it again, after the rule was explained to you?

Indie & Sugarcane,
Are you guys privy to information that the rest of us aren't?
If so, it might be helpful to the rest of us to understand this situation more succinctly.
As it stands, from the existing posts, 3634 did NOT out MB. MB outed herself, then proceeded to slam 3634, & then subsequently has not made much of an effort to amend this ridiculous misunderstanding.

I don't understand your point, workit. I am talking to 364 about her word, "dating". I am asking her to define what that meant. I am dealing only with the information that has been revealed on this thread - that 364 said she was dating.

I said nothing about 364 "outing" marital bliss, so I do not understand why you are addressing that point to me.

How is revealing that 3634 was lying about the reason that "MB had to stop being my IM" "slamming" 3634 in any way?

I did not say that. I said this.



I said that maritalbliss outed three.



Maritalbliss has already given us her version of events.

It is Three who is failing to give her side of the story, so far.

I am hoping that she will fill us in very soon.

Don't you dare, mister. You're too valuable here. end t/j

Okay 3, I don't know all of the backstory about what MB told and didn't tell. There is one thing that I would like to point out though. Being an IM is a tough job sometimes. While it is true that an IM is privy to personal info, such as finances, real identity, etc, they are also privy to certain things that the BS feels and does that the board doesn't know about. I make it perfectly clear to people that I know, off board, that I am there for them, but that most of our dealings will be on the boards. WHY? Because I am not the all knowing. I can be a great support off board, but I also need the support of the board as well. ALL of these people add something to everyone's recovery.

MB did the right thing by "outing" your "dating." She did the right thing for YOU, and she did the right thing for US. See, we can only advise you properly if we know ALL there is to know about your sitch. If you hold something back, and it is vital, we need to know about it.

And for pete's sake, you are not a child, so stop throwing a pity party. You were shown that you have work to do, so take the steps necessary.

Absolutely. It was a caring act.

Thank you, Scottie, and Indie, too. 3, I always encouraged you to stay on the boards and continue to receive support from our members. I made it clear that I had no desire to be your sole means of support. I was only serving as your IM.

I was very alarmed to receive your email, saying you were dating because you 'missed the attention.' So much so that I begged you to return to MB to talk with the members about this decision to date. Did I 'flip out' on you? No. I used ALL CAPS to BEG YOU NOT TO DATE. I was concerned about YOU. IT WAS THAT IMPORTANT.

3, I have very little information about you. I know your name. I know your husband's name. I would NEVER disclose this information. It is sacred to me. That's just how I am. Rest assured that there will never be a time when I will post anything, anywhere, about your real name or life.

Sweetie, please stay here. Acknowledge to these posters the honest facts of your situation. They deserve that. They can't advise you without all the facts. YOU deserve that. The advice you will receive is based entirely on your honesty with them. And yes, I'm using ALL CAPS because it is THAT IMPORTANT.

This is my last post on your thread. I will bow out from helping you at this point. There are many others who are ready to help you. Please be honest with them. That will only help YOU.

3, I hope you are doing well. I wanted to check on you and see how things were going and saw all the recent posts. I wish I could tell you not to take it to heart, but I also know it's hard. To do what you think is right and find out you are wrong. Trust me, my forehead is permanently black and blue from all the 2x4's I got. But you have to understand that they are to get you on the right track and that the MB people here have YOUR best interests in mind.
Please don't run away and let us know how you are doing. I am worried about you.

Three, anyone who has read your thread can see how lonely and vulnerable you are. We are WORRIED.

Rest assured this POSOM knows how vulnerable you are and plans to take full advantage.

He knows you are married.

When betrayed, you cannot let members of the opposite sex console you. You must protect yourself better with good boundaries.