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As for the employer.... the OW and me both agree that it will not be necessary to bring any others into it... when we talked about ending the whole thing recently. Of course you don't want to "bring others into it." That would interfere with your affair.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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ace, you are wasting valuable board time by posting fogbabble. You are too far gone to reason with, because you do not use reason. You are high on the fog of your pig affair.
It is obvious you are looking for ways to maintain your affair. We are not going to help you with that.
Please send your wife here. Maybe we can help her save your marriage.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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As far as I see it.... I already know I am all the things you all point out I am... pointing them out again... is not helping and not sure how you hope to help by doing that over and over. and pointing out things I already know about myself.
I know you all want to help... might help to be a little more positive rather than continually putting me down.
And I already know how messed up my head is...
But would have thought that the fact that I am seeking advice and searching for answers and possible solutions would be worth something.
The way you all make is sound... it's not worth anything.
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Send your wife here, ace.... Stop posting and send her here please.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I know you all want to help... might help to be a little more positive rather than continually putting me down. Here is something positive for you. Go tell your wife right now that you are still in touch with skanky. Then send her here to this thread so we can help her.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Send your wife here, ace.... Stop posting and send her here please.
He can't do that, Mel.
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I believe that I have said over and over I want to save my marriage.
I have never said I want to continue my affair.
Just that I had a limitation.
Limitation does not mean continue the affair.
As I have said I will tell her about the site.
But I already know...you say you will save my marriage by talking to her.... that is where you are wrong... you will in fact not save it... but only make it worse.... and get what I can tell alot of you already are saying... and that is
My marriage over and my wife away from me.
So thanks for taking the time to at least listen.
I will continue to read that articles on the site because as I have said...they do have good advice.
And as I have said you have all given me something at least to take with me...
And that is a new found agression to make my marriage work....
Dispite the fact that you all think it will fail no matter what I do.
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Point is you are asking me to send her here out of threats towards me. I say that because you actually are using it against me.... rather than to help me.
So that is not a positive line of saving my marriage....
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At the very least stick to your plan of telling your wife who the OW is. She can choose to make a HUGE mistake and let you continue working with her or not...but at least she'll have the truth about her life and know who the witch that is conspiring with you to destroy her family actually is.
FBH(me)-51 FWW-49 (MrsWondering)
DD19 DS 22 Dday-2005-Recovered
"agree to disagree" = Used when one wants to reject the objective reality of the situation and hopefully replace it with their own.
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Dispite the fact that you all think it will fail no matter what I do. No, we said you will fail if you continue to pursue your goal of maintaining your affair while you keep your wife around for kicks. That is the path to failure, but you already know that. You have proof of that. We will believe you are serious when you end all contact with your adultery partner and leave that job. We know you are not serious unless that happens. I hope you prove us wrong, but I see nothing here that leads me to believe you are serious about ending your affair. Nothing. Send your wife here, please.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Do you have children with your wife?
"Get busy living, or get busy dying"...... The Shawshank Redemption.
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Point is you are asking me to send her here out of threats towards me. I say that because you actually are using it against me.... rather than to help me.
So that is not a positive line of saving my marriage.... You view anything that threatens your affair as negative. You won't send her here because you are scared it will threaten your affair. We see that clearly.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I believe that I have said over and over I want to save my marriage.
I have never said I want to continue my affair. Talk is cheap, though. We see the truth in your actions. Your actions don't support your words.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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We will talk again tonight.
And alot more will come from it, I do intend on opening up more.
And for myself I will have to commit internally more... I realize that... and I am committed to doing that.
Only I can know when is the time to reveal things to her....
But for sure the affair is over.
The job change will be a plan if need be....
I am in a different frame of mind now thanks to the posting here.
As for the referral to me being a HUGE mistake....
That advice really instills confidence. No help. Other than the drive my wife away completely. As was that posts intention as far as I can see. Not much in the realm of saving marriages in that post.
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I feel badly for your wife. She is the true victim here.
Recovery from an affair is very difficult.
As long as you remain in ANY contact with OW, your affair has not ended.
If your OW's marriage really ended without any help from you, why would be afraid to tell her XH? It's because you KNOW that you had a hand in it. Are you proud of yourself for that? Are you proud that you helped your OW ruin her marriage?
You may feel that we are being unnecessarily harsh on you, but believe me, we are giving you what you need.
And as for being positive. The one thing I AM POSITIVE about here is that you are going to destroy your wife as you continue your affair. Because with contact, you are harming her.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING  Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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By helping you wake up from your fog, and seeing the REAL path to recovery, we hope to help you save your marriage. Why is it we care more about your marriage, and your wife than you seem to?
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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You don't want to ruin your reputation at work, you don't want to give up contact with her, and you don't want your financial lifestyle to change.
Your plan is about protecting you, not your wife.
If you cared about protecting your wife, you wouldn't go to work each day and leaving her to ponder whether or not you are seeing that woman again.
Come off it.
You think that isn't blatantly obvious? Maybe you don't realize the obvious.
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Children?
One Daughter.... 13.
But she is not mine.
She was my wifes from a previous boyfriend and was 3 when we got married.
I have helped raise her since then.... so for all intents I am her father... she even started calling me Dad on her own when she was 4.
Her real father hasn't come around since 2002.
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Only I can know when is the time to reveal things to her.... That is a sick excuse to avoid doing the right thing. You are the last person who is qualified to decide when the time is to tell your wife the truth about her life. You are the danger. But for sure the affair is over.
The job change will be a plan if need be.... And no the affair is not over. And won't be over until you end contact. But you know that, which is why you are so zealously protecting your affair. You want BOTH. If you are serious about ending your affair and saving your marriage you will tell your wife the truth and leave your job. But, the only thing you are serious about is maintaing BOTH, at your wife's expense. You are fearful she will leave you if you tell her the truth so you plan on tricking her into staying married to you.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Yes I have been woke up... so mission accomplished.
And you say you care more about my marriage and wife than I do.
I believe that I do care about her and this more... because I am still here.
And yes still love her.... and have known for a long time that I needed to end the other and come home for good and for real.
Just haven't had that push.
So maybe you are right... and maybe this is the push that I needed.
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