Let's all pray that it's heading that direction. I can say that I feel confident that it inflicted a major blow to the A. It was cushy, no conflict, easy going. Now they suddenly had to do damage control and they're going to have to work at it.

And I'm damn proud that I did it! I'll never, ever regret exposing the A more thoroughly!

We are proud for you.

Do not jump to conclusions about the affair being over or not. Affairs thrive on drama. Though the fantasy has been handed a hard blow....the waywards want to cling to it like crazy and affair partners break up, make up, break up over and over and over again.

Keep up the plan to deal with the rigamaroll and ride the waves from your safe haven of having the structure available to survive it.

You should be proud!!

Absolutely not jumping to any conclusions. At the most I'm just hoping it's causing problems for them. I would think at minimum, the dynamics have changed. But thank you for your concern and support.

Your patience will prevail!

This is definitely good news...but keep going with the MB plan through til the end...kill this thing DEAD.

Good luck.

SW

I am proud for what you have done so far also.


OOPs...My "F" hat fell off...Or since there is no pressure on my business....or on my family...or on me we can just keep low and underground till all the legalities are over.....Thats one way to keep that old man of yours under control Mrs. SW......

Sorry to harsh your buzz....

"F" hat is back on...

Now what was I saying..........

Keep going SW and get to the OM if you really want to kill the A.


nESRE

One borrowed from GJM and MM:'embrace the suck'.

I've also got another one that I used to say back in my younger years when things seemed impossible, taken from the movie Risky Business: 'Sometimes you gotta say, what the.....', well, I'm sure everyone knows the rest.

Still here SW...proud of you. I hope once you clear your head you can start to make contact with your W and Plan A.

MM told me to look at my kids as they sleep and ask myself if I can go another day. Each day is yes for me.

GJM, good to hear from you. I haven't seen much new activity on your thread. I hope things are advancing in a positive direction for you.

They aren't. It's the same stuff each day. There isn't enough "meat" to post about so I don't bother wasting anyone's time. In my weaker state I would have, but I've come a long way in the past 5 months. My Plan A is better than ever and I've gotten to the point where I smile more often. The good thing is, I haven't lost an ounce of love for my wife.

Just thought I would post some texts that my W and I had today. First time I heard from her in 6 days.

W: "Hi...in all honesty do you want to pay big bucks for lawyers to fight for the little we have...or do you want to try to work this through a mediator...?"

Me: "<W>, you're the one who wants a divorce. I have not and still do not want a divorce. I want to keep our family together. But since you served me divorce papers, I have retained a lawyer."

W: " I got it...and I knew that already...kinda ironic thats the atty I told <cousin> to have her sister call....<SW> you have Never ever once said that you loved me thru this whole thing...you pushed me so far away with ask the family damage you have caused...you literally aired our dirty laundry out to people that didn't even know what was going on...you have hurt me beyond words with your actions after I moved out....I have an atty too...just thought we can make this amicable and less costly...but you again are on the evil end of the stick....can't own me anymore..."

W: "And theres no more damage you can do...you tore my family apart...ultimately effecting the kids...but thats ok..."

W: "And just remember what fair is fair...just saying."

W: "I think I should tell my side...to ur family....including your folks."

So I don't know what to say at this point. I have not replied back to her. It's hurts that she says I never said I loved her through this whole thing. She always said I was pushing her away. She would ignore and just text the OM when living at home, right in front of everyone. She would always tell me " you just don't get it" or "move on". She knew I was committed to our marriage, that I was giving her space and waiting for her to come around.

What bothers me is she still cannot own up to what she's done. She does not realize that she is the root cause of everything.

For a simple question of how to proceed with the D, I have no idea why she is texting back all this stuff. I would think she would want to just move on.

Fogbabble, fogbabble, fogbabble, fogbabble, fogbabble

Blameshift, blameshift, blameshift, blameshift, blameshift

It's all predictable and right on cue. You've read enough on here to know that! IGNORE! DO NOT ENGAGE THIS CRAP!!!

Now.....

Is there really no more damage you can do SW?

The only thing I heard when I read this was wah, wah, wah, just like the adults on the Peanut's cartoons.

I know it makes you wonder and hurts a bit, but know this is alien speak and when she comes out of her fog she will be able to see exactly who needs to take the blame for her actions.

Stay the course and know also, that you will come out on the other side of this a better stonger man, with or without her.

Blessings!

SW

Respond that you WILL save your marriage, and that you will do whatever it takes to do so.

"Honey, I love you and our family, and I will do everything I can to save our marriage. Hey, I have no problem with you telling the truth to our families. They should know the truth and our kids should, too. I'm sorry that our family has been been so hurt by your affair. Let's have dinner on Tuesday."

TW is right: fogbabble. Let Linda Blair puke it all out and duck.

Stay the course and stay calm and cool.

I'm tempted to reply back and ask my WW one simple question: "Why do you care?" Why does she care that I supposedly did not tell her I love her throughout all this (not true). If she's moving on, filed for D, then why even care? Just go through the D process and be done. No need to throw more anger at me, she's on her path to freedom.

Perhaps a FWW could shed some light on this.

Not a FWW but I can guess why - blame shifting, self deception to the point that she convinces herself that it's true. In a nutshell, as other posters said " it's fogbabble". I have one WH that is in fog, different manifestation but still, fog, I know how you feel...

If you could just look past it and REALLY believe she is fogged up, you will be able to deal with her more effectively and keep your emotion where it should be spent.

My WH went on the forum today with all his fogbabble, I just chuckled! It's not that I don't care, but I needed to remember it's not him... I told him today that he would be so embarrassed 3 months from now and ACTUALLY he believed me!

I heard the same crap. Why didn't you fight for me?

Really? What grade are we in again? This is me fighting for our marriage. Wake up!

Minjo is right in everything she says. Your wife is an alien right now. SHE IS DRUGGED UP! You have to keep that in mind.

As a FWW, I can tell you that you can't make sense of her feelings. No use is trying to figure her out.

Deep down she wants you to beg and plead but you're not and you should not!

Perhaps she is beginning to realize that POSOM cannot give her all she needs. Don't get your hopes up though.

This is the problem, I don't know anymore where my emotion should be spent. She has NOT contacted me in any way since last Tuesday, when we all got together for DS's 18th birthday. So until yesterday's text message, no communication from her. And the text yesterday from her was inquiring into the D.

I feel my best when there is no communication. She never communicates with me on anything. To me, she gives the impression that she's moved on. I've not initiated contact since it's apparent she wants nothing to do with our relationship anymore. I know if I initiate any contact, it will be met with fogbabble.

She cut me deep and right now I feel that I just need to protect what's left of my feelings, while at the same time I want to let her know that I've cared for her all along. I would hope after 26 years she would know that by now, but as you mention, I think she's in so deep, she's convinced herself of her new reality. In which case she will just have to unfog on her own and wherever we are at that time, we are.

So to question your answer, it's hard for me to believe she's in a fog because she's so set on heading down the D path. She seems to know where she wants to go. Even though I have this feeling that she thinks she's in so deep that she cannot back out now. She may think she's dug a hole so deep that she cannot ever get out.So I really don't know where to spend my emotion anymore.