What kind of a mother will she be to your children? Would you trust your future children with this woman?

Dude.

Are you waiting for this woman to kick you in the privates again?

Thank the man upstairs for not getting any kids involved in this mess and really consider some other options for companionship.

It appears you actually are in a situation that most BHs can only dream about. You have no incredibly compelling reason to leave, nor any to stay. You have the support from the families to stay, but their understanding should you choose to leave. If I had to place a bet today, I'd also project that Plan D is in your future. It doesn't have to be, but at any rate you should move with purpose and plan.

Find out if, in your jurisdiction, the divorce laws take adultery into account in deciding the terms of any final action. (For example, if "fault" is found, the guilty party might have to pony up for some of the aggrieved party's legal fees.) Less delicately, find out whether if you have sex with her now, you will be burdened in court with having "forgiven" her. If so, your next "session" might be very expensive!

In any case, gather the evidence you can about her infidelity. Send the e-mail to her boss (Stop torturing yourself; anything that happens was caused by her actions, not your attempts to halt them.)

Tell her that you will not live with an adulterous wife, and the affair has to end, immediately.

I have sent the exposure email to WW boss. It's been 3 hrs and no response yet.

Exposure to WW BFF will hopefully provide a followup call tonight.

I have already lined up legal advice to protect my assets from before the marriage.

Plan A might be making small in roads. I've talked to WW on the phone and she sounded vulnerable. Turns out she had an argument with the OM based on emails.

You never answered my question about verifying OM's marital status. I skimmed through your posts and don't see any mention of that.

Have you looked into this? If he's 30, there's a good chance that he's married.

Not sure about OM marital status.

WW boss emailed back to say that she will talk to my WW about noticing he office affair. Not sure if that's going to help or worsen the situation. WW and I attended boss' wedding so hopefully there's some empathy there

I exposed WW's A to her favorite brother. Seems to have sparked a little reaction from WW.

WW messaged me to ask why I was telling everyone that she was cheating. I tried to stay calm and replied that she was wearing my wedding ring and her heart was with OM. WW agreed but is unhappy that everyone concentrates on the affair and not our M issues.

I told WW everyone knows that I have taken responsibility for the M issues and tried to address them. The A is a separate issue that many perceive to be a sin.

WW accused me of getting her family on side but I calmly explained that it's not my intention, that I believe the M can be saved and was not angry.

Have I correctly followed Plan A?

And she thinks the two are mutually exclusive?

And yes! Yes, you have done Plan A right. Exposure is part of the stick.

When she asks why you did it or gets angry, do what you did: say you are trying to save your marriage.

Then you talk about something else. Offer her a potato chip.

????

What have you done to look into this?

You can look him up on intelius.com or whitepages.com or spokeo.com. Have you done any of these things?

Have you looked him up on facebook?

They do NOT like exposure. My wife said the very same thing. Did you expose to the other persons married Facebook friends and family? This needs to all be done at one.
Exposure results in massive LB withdrawls and MB says it should be done at once, like a nuclear bomb going off...
YOU NEED TO EXPOSE TO THE OM PARTNER, FAMILY AND FRIENDS ASAP

Oh, and I would not explain or justify your actions with ww. If she asks why, just respond: "I would like to work towards a loving, healthy marriage" and then ask her if she would like a cup of coffee....
I know it sounds crazy but I've just been through this. She will wear you down. You need to understand that affairs are like drugs. She is an addict.

I understand WW is an addict and it's difficult to hear the stuff coming out of her mouth. I'm at the point of exposing even if not for my marriage, in the hope my WW realizes the sin that she has committed.

My new exposure list is:
1. WW close friends
2. WW's intern. Not sure if I should go all the way up to her Director/Partner. These are the only 2 people I remember. Will utilize LinkedIn to find more colleagues with names that ring a bell
3. Maybe WW Work HR using the wasting company resources excuse
4. OM side. But I'll need to do more work on that one. He's definitely on Facebook.

OM is single but there is a list of close friends and family there. Attack those?

Piffle! Fuzzy, don't be "hoping" for "empathy." Instead, start requiring respect. Remind WW's boss, in writing via registered mail, that you will be similarly informing other senior managers & the company's general counsel that the affair between two of their employees -- for which they are likely using company resources and time -- constitutes a situation involving potential for allegations of sexual harrassment, potential allegations of favoritism, possible violations of the company's code of conduct, and other misconduct that poses potential financial liabilities for the company, and for its senior managers if not properly addressed. Send cc:s to lots of people so that word gets around & so that no one will be tempted to sweep it under the carpet. If you're serious about busting up the affair, then you need to do this. This isn't some soothing, empathy-seeking conversation you need to be having with her boss, it's about getting their company's lawyers' underpants in a big, hairy twist and scaring people inside the company into acting. Your best outcome here, the one you should be hoping for, is to get either WW or OM fired, because that will put a big strain on the affair. You need to be hoping for this, not for "empathy." You need to light some fire uder some butts, Fuzzy.

Having said this, in your situation, please realize that if she emotionally bailed on you that soon after marriage, your odds of success in the long term are pretty darned low.
As IF her affair wasn't by far the biggest, baddest issue in your marriage. Aw heck... tell her you completely agree, and so you're trying to help address that by taking the very biggest marital issue of all off the table, by busting up her affair, and that she shouldn't take it personally. Smile at her when you tell her this.

More Plan A updates:

Exposure to WW's favorite brother: Both he and WW believe there is no A but it's EA based on email evidence. I am projecting negativity or depression despite removing anger, demands and dis-respect from conversations with my WW. He sensed from IM'ing whilst overseas that negativity came from assumptions from email snooping.

WW revealed to her brother that I haven't been comforting and understanding. This corresponds to the missing "connection" WW explained to me (she never clairified the comforting and understanding part in my conversations). WW admits it's something the OM has. WW brother suggested that I backoff and give her space and time, center my self and focus on the things that attracted her to me (sounds like Plan A).

WW BFF insight #1 : BFF didn't know about A and is against the A. Unfortunately BFF has given my WW the dangerous view that both the transmitter and receiver for emotional needs should do so in the same natural way, to ensure that it is genuine and appreciated in the same way.

WW recites this word for word. BFF is convincing and quotes her own successful relationship and a friends relationship (both long term relationships and current). Neither relationships are marriage but are defacto.

BS, friends and family and WW's family instinctively disagree as that's very narrow minded and doesn't allow both partners bring variety of perspective to the M. Our views align with MB for meeting each others emotional needs in a way that makes the most Love Bank deposits.

WW BFF insight #2 : WW felt no self confidence when arguing with BS. BS always put up good argument. I understood from MB that conversations must be free of anger and dis-respect, but now I need to ensure WW feels confidence by giving the feeling that I'm not controlling her.

Self reflection: I have re-read MB website "Conversation is boring" article. Appreciate any info on communication, listening/understanding, power balance, etc in M.

WW and BS are IM'ing to and from work and sometimes phonecalls at night. SMS and phonecalls at lunchtime are generally not answered. I have started with small talk that shows interest in what's she doing and interested in. Asking about feelings has not worked so will avoid for now.

What level of conversation contact should I have with WW now that we are not living together?

Thanks for reading this far

WW BFF#2 has revealed that OM has a long term girlfriend

You can also get some good ideas by listening to the radio show, the link is on the Home page of MB

YOU AREN'T LIVING TOGETHER? I encourage you to call the MB show and ask if you should go to Plan B.