Originally Posted by Love86
MelodyLane if my husband will stop invalidating my feelings I will work on telling him about the affair.

"Working on" an issue is code for "doing nothing about it."

I know. I "worked on" my angry outburst problems for a long time. Nothing got better -- BECAUSE I WASN'T DOING ANYTHING OTHER THAN SAYING I WAS "WORKING ON IT."

"Working on" is code for a deceptive lie that we tell ourselves and then repeat to others.

You are saying that if your husband will DO something you will "work on doing something." You require that he succeed before you even try. Perhaps you could be more consistent and require either trying from both of you or success from both of you, but either way apply the same standard fairly to both of you.

Perhaps your husband is "working on" stopping invalidating your feelings.

Of course, if you would go through the plans and exercises here on Marriage Builders, it would lead to your husband actually learning how to validate you, probably without ever even using the word "validation."

If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.