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Joined: Mar 2012
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Got it! I know im wrong. Ok.
Where on this site is an example of this letter located ?
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Joined: Oct 2009
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JJ, it's like MrsWondering said: The way out of this mess is, first you do the things you need to do, and the courage will follow.
And like Reading said, there'll be withdrawal. But the way you get through withdrawal is, you go through it! (You can't go around it!) So to get through it, you have to maintain strict no-contact.
The last time you tried to break it off, you didn't maintain no-contact, did you?
True story: During my affair, about halfway through, I once tried to break it off, too. I could see where it was likely headed, and I knew that was someplace no good, so I told myself, and even told her, that it had to end. But I continued to see the other woman weekly at church, and I entertained myself with the notion that we could "just stay (good) friends." I resumed taking her calls. That all sure messed with my resolve, because she was throwing lots of free attention & admiration my way, and even though she was less than nothin' special, I was addicted to the easy admiration. In short, I failed, because I kept in contact.
So don't worry about what you feel right now. Worry about the list of things you need to do. I gave you such a list. Where do you stand on each of the to-do's? Give us a report, please.
Me: FWH, 50
My BW: Trust_Will_Come, 52, tall, beautiful & heart of gold
DD23, DS19
EA-then-PA Oct'08-Jan'09
Broke it off & confessed to BW (after OW's H found out) Jan.7 2009
Married 25 years & counting.
Grateful for forgiveness. Working to be a better husband.
"I wear the chain I forged in life... I made it link by link, and yard by yard" ~Jacob Marley's ghost, A Christmas Carol
"Do it again & you're out on your [bum]." ~My BW, Jan.7 2009
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Got it! I know im wrong. Ok.
Where on this site is an example of this letter located ? Here ya go, JA: My advice is to write a final letter in a way that the victimized spouse would agree to send it. It should begin with a statement of how selfish it was to cause those they loved so much pain, and while marital reconciliation cannot completely repay the offense, it's the right thing to do. A statement should be made about how much the unfaithful spouse cares about his spouse and family, and for their protection, has decided to completely end the relationship with the lover. He or she has promised never to see or communicate with the lover again in life, and asks the lover to respect that promise. Nothing should be said about how much the lover will be missed. After the letter is written, the victimized spouse should read and approve it before it is sent [From Surviving An Affair by Dr. Willard F. Harley, Jr., pg 58] OW,
I want you to know that out of respect and love for my wife and children, I have come to realize that I must never see or talk to you again. My relationship with you was a cruel indulgence that BS did not deserve. While I cannot completely repay BS for the pain I caused her, I will do my best to become the husband she has been missing. I care a great deal for my family and I would not want to do anything to risk their happiness. I will not make any further contact with you and I do not want you to make any contact with me. Please respect my desire to end our relationship.
Sincerely, XXXXX
Mrs. W
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
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Mrs. Wondering, what is a "Yoda"?
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Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 520
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A science fiction character created by George Lucas, and animated. Voiced by Frank Oz. Major character in the Star Wars saga.
Thanks for all the support along the way.
I wish you all well. I'm outta here.
Peace.
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Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 6,352
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Mrs. Wondering, what is a "Yoda"? ![[Linked Image from media.giantbomb.com]](http://media.giantbomb.com/uploads/2/22423/1465854-yoda1_super.jpg) "Unfamiliar with me is Mirrormirror? Show him my power I must!"
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Joined: Nov 2011
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You can also call into the Mariage Builders daily radio show for advice.
The link is on the website
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Joined: Oct 2009
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Did you get that letter sent yet, JJ?
It's been 2 days since we've heard from you.
What about that list of steps?
Me: FWH, 50
My BW: Trust_Will_Come, 52, tall, beautiful & heart of gold
DD23, DS19
EA-then-PA Oct'08-Jan'09
Broke it off & confessed to BW (after OW's H found out) Jan.7 2009
Married 25 years & counting.
Grateful for forgiveness. Working to be a better husband.
"I wear the chain I forged in life... I made it link by link, and yard by yard" ~Jacob Marley's ghost, A Christmas Carol
"Do it again & you're out on your [bum]." ~My BW, Jan.7 2009
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