ML,
Pardon me but what the heck else can I do while trying to not get fired while i do all this at work? Meanwhile I cant get any support family and friends. What else am I supposed to be doing.

Can you do the things that I have exhaustively and repeatedly posted? And perhaps be a little proactive? It is your marriage, not mine, after all. It is in your interest to be proactive and to get the OM's aunts name and expose to his family without being prodded to death.

Contrary to what you think I'm doing the best I can. If everyone had email or FB this would be very easy. But I'm having to basically do private investigation work to find half these people and then they dont even want to help.

With all due respect, it's very easy for you to be on that end and tell me that I'm not trying.

With all due respect, I have done this myself. And helped many, many others do it. I am not telling you to do anything I haven't done myself. I don't think I have ever seen a less productive "exposure." Usually when one is proactive, they have made progress and are actually pursuing opportunities instead of looking for reasons to NOT expose. If you want this to be of any effect, you are going to have to get proactive and creative. And actually do something.

Uh-huh. That's what all the waywards say.

I'm just getting caught up on your thread. I suspect ML has the time to school you in how far off you are are this one. Keep your mouth shut and listen carefully to her and the rest of the members here. If you want to save your M, of course.

For what it's worth, I think I have finally succeeded in getting some support from the exposure. I called the OM and he pretty much ran for cover. He has removed her from his FB account and they have had no more contact in about 2 weeks.

WW was pretty mad last night and blamed me (again) for everything. She basically told me that everything I am doing has pushed her further away. I couldn't take being made out to be the bad guy in this again so I left for a while. I slept in the basement room last night.

This morning she left for her sisters house for an extended separation. Nothing I can do about it. i'm pretty much ready to give up because everything I have done has apparently been the wrong thing in her eyes and has apparently pushed her further away.

I don't really expect anyone to reply to me since I have not "followed the rules to a T". I just thought I would take a chance here and see if the general thought was that my marriage is over because I feel as though it is at this point.

So whom else have you exposed to?

These would be a great reads for you.
DoormatNoMore's Thread
DoorMatNoMore's Thread 1yr out

As many FB contacts as possible and as many of her friends and family as possible.

Ok so you let exposure do it's work.
Who of his family did you expose? In the book SAA have you read the case of John and Sue?

Are you doing both carrot and stick of plan A?
Have you read this? Pep's wayword fog decoded

I did let exposure do it's work as best it could. I honestly think calling the OM made a HUGE difference. She was very upset when she got the FB alert that he had "de-friended" her.

I exposed to all I could get in contact with. His step-mom and some cousins. His family is pretty much non-existent.

I haven't seen Plan A completely. I'll search the site for it and I'll read the post you gave.

Instead of leaving when she babbles her foggy talk are you using the tips that Pepperband talks about in here? Pep's Carrot and Stick

Say things like... "I'm sorry you feel that way you want a cookie"
"I'm not the bad guy in this M, I'm fighting for my M and I will not have more than 2 in this M and that's you and me".

I understand if you have to leave to avoid AO but do not leave your home.
Men Do not leave your home by Melodylane

...see if the general thought was that my marriage is over...

It matters not at all what we think. You marriage will be over when one of three things happens:

1) One of you dies.
2) The judge's gavel comes down on the final divorce settlement.
3) YOU decide to end your efforts at recovery.

My gosh that Carrot and Stick post is dead on with just about everything she has said to me. That is uncanny.

My fear is that she is already "so gone" in her mind that she will not return.

I'll start implementing these things immediately!

Like NG says she's not gone until....
So don't worry about that.

Have you read SAA, John and Sue? Sue was the Wayward wife and left to be with her OM and came back to John and they are doing wonderful today. Read it.

All waywards speak from the same script.
Remember allnwaywards

So her leaving should not "worry" me too much right now? Because I kinda feel like it's the end.

You're fighting for your M and so it's not over until you sign the D papers.

You need to throw all your energy into killing the affair and exposing it loud and proud. Stop all LB's, start filling her lovebank with deposits filling her EN. Do not be a doormat, but if you want to throw in the towel because you " think" shes done then that's on you, if it was my M I'd go kicking and fighting for mine by following the MB plans.

Can you talk to her sister about her going and staying with her?

Is your SIL going to support your M?

Are you sure she isn't going to meet with OM? Did you put a GPS on her car?

Talk to her sister about her not allowing her to stay with her?

Yes, SIL is supportive. She actually called OM before I did...although I didn't know that until after I called him.

I'm 100% sure she is not going to meet or talk with him. SIL also said she was going to help watch out for that too.

Also, her top 3 ENs are conversation, O&H, and affection. She tells me that she just basically wants me to leave her be for now. So I guess I just do the best I can when the opportunity presents to fill an EN huh?

But I can start on the Carrot portion ASAP!

Good so SIL is in your corner. Good job.
Has she said anything to your WW to put pressure on her?

Yes get working on the carrot of. Plan A but remember to keep giving the stick also.

Also have you read these? Read all 5 letters by Dr. H.
Unfaithful Wife #1