I told my husband's mom and she is very very upset with him. My son knows that my husband has done something to hurt me but he doesnt know what. He is 13 and I dont know if he would understand right now. I also told my best friend. She knows how my parents are and she told me she would not dare tell them or I would never be able to work on my marriage. So I called my sister she told me she would be so mad at him. She promised to keep it between us but she told me I would make a big mistake if I ever told our parents. My parents would pretty much force me to divorse him. If I didnt they would talk horrible to me everyday and call me an idiot. Maybe I am an idiot. I love him though. I dont want my marriage to end. Am I crazy to want us to get help and work it out? I havent been perfect either and my parents do know about my affair back 6 years ago. My sister said since it happened 2 hours away to just hope and pray that know one that know us will see it. The lawyer said he could get it dismissed when they go to pay ticket. My sister and friend said they were going to have a long talk with my husband and that we need to get in counceling and keep it our business and not everyone around here because other people will pretty much influence my decission. They told me people would call me crazy for trying to work it out. I feel like a mental case.

sohurt, you need to tell all these people and get this out now. They are going to hear it anyway. Of course your son can understand. He is not an idiot. Lying to him about the source of tension in your home just confuses him and teaches him to be dishonest. Not telling him only leaves him to imagine the worst and causes confusion. Why would you do that to him?

You harm your husband and your family by keeping this a secret. It will be therapeutic for your husband to explain to his son and family members the despicable, shameful thing he has done. And it will help you by getting you the support you need.

Don't hide this, sohurt. That just makes the problem worse. The more people who know the more people to hold your husband accountable. That is a good thing, not a bad thing.


Your sister and friend have absolutely no experience or expertise in saving marriages. Hiding adultery does not save marriages, it harms them.

sohurt, stop whitewashing your husband's crimes for him. Sit your son down and tell him the despicable thing his father has done. Your husband can explain to your son why he has been wh*re mongering and how he plans on changing to make sure it doesn't happen again.

If your H is a big enough boy to hire a hooker, he is a big enough boy to face your parents and his son with a heartfelt apology. Help your husband be a man, not a whimpering punk who hides behind his wife's skirts.

This must be very scary for him not knowing what this mystery bad deed is! So bad it canmnot even be spoken about!

This is VERY cruel. Tell him the truth immediately and that you both still love dad and hope he will do the right thing.

Do you want him to find out from the newspaper and other kids?

My husbands affair was conducted behind closed doors, but my 11 year old cousin knew. He was afraid to tell me. He shouldnt have been put in that position. Kids see stuff we dont.

Can everyone around you please grow up and stop being scared of their own shadow?

And as for 'what people will think' well that is so immature I cant believe anyone dared give you such childish advice.


Whose business is it if you decide to fight for your marriage? If you win they wont have much to say will they? and neither of you will care.

Tell the TRUTH and handle it like grown ups.

Ok today my parents were told and they really surprised me. They were very supportive. This is so hard

Yes people usually are! I exposed to my whole town practically and everyone was wonderful.

DON'T do a trickle exposure. You need your key targets to find out on the same day. Then you want them all to contact WH that same day urging him to do what's right.

He needs to feel all their disapproval at once, like a tsunami wave.

A trickle exposure, where you tell a few people here, few people there ruins the plan.

Have you read the Exposure 101 thread for guidance on how to it right?

Ill bump it for you

Actually no need - its in MelodyLanes sig on this very page

So hurt, believe us, we KNOW how hard it is. Everyone here has been/is going through it. Exposure is your number one best tool to recover your marriage. I urge you not to delay. You will be surprised how supportive can be. Keep posting here too, OK? You are getting great advice!