Thanks Caracal. "Mourn the man he was. Know the man he is" is so difficult. I've gone from a size 16 in Aug and been a size 8 since Dec. All that in three months. I'm at least maintaining now.

I guess right now there isn't anymore contact that needs to be made after my couple of emails as long as he continues to cooperate. The real estate agent is the go between for the house. It is Atty to Atty and that is so costly. Everything sent and communicated cost dearly.

I would like for him to know that I would reconsider a reconsiliation. He'd still be able to retire and we could salvage something since I wouldn't be getting a large portion of his 401k and spousal support. This is where I'd like him to know that because I filed for divorce and have stayed away, that isn't what is in my heart and soul. I thought about sending a letter to one of his neices who talks to him who I used to be close with. I think she would share with him.

I'm still so mind boggled over this woman being worth everything we built for 27 years - plus giving up his ability to retire as planned while she doesn't work and has never had a career. His financial losses are tremendous. He made some very quick and hasty decisions, and, I'd like to think at some point he'll realize he made a big mistake if he already hasn't now experiencing the losses.

I like hearing stories of hope. I really have no one around in person who can do that. I wish there was a divorce support group near me but there isn't. I do have a male friend, but, just a friend. He is one of few people who has been my friend. I don't feel right about that either, but, I'm so desperate to have interaction with someone. I still feel so attached to my WH and I'm trying so hard to let go but in a stuck situation with the home still for sale and can't get a court date for divorce until Sep.

I appreciate kind responses. It is such a hurtful and destructive situation for all except for his mistress....who is getting the free ride.