Markos, I love your definition of a disrespectful judgement: "Mind Reading!"

So true.

I also like to think of a DJ as a character assessment, rather than focusing on behavior - e.g. "You are a liar" (a DJ) - rather than, "You lied to me" (respectful, but forthright).

My apologies for the threadjack.

Please keep us updated on your progress, BLKMGK!

Fixed that for you.

>.0

I am an overweight wife who disregarded my husband's EN for an attractive spouse. He always told me that it was important to him (and even stated that he thought that made him a shallow person!) but I just never put the required work in to stay attractive to him. Of course, this gets even harder with age, AND his expectations rose with age, too (lots of cute thin young things at the office...) I always thought that if other men found me attractive, that should be okay, and maybe H's standards should adjust. Also, H was insensitive and critical, to the point of being unresponsive sexually. I was really resentful and into withdrawal.

THEN, he had an A. I didn't know at first, but thought his sudden interest in diet and exercise (and new clothes) for himself were a nice way to motivate me (duh!)
By D-Day, I had already started on the track back. But finding MB and learning about H's EN's really added to my drive, and helped clarify in my mind how important weight/appearance can be. Not to mention those extra endorphins sure help!

We are now on the recovery path, beginning to feel love for each other again. This is actually going to work!