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Re: HELP ! Please critique this "negotiation".
HoldHerHand #2616567 04/16/12 01:17 PM
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 7,362
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Prisca Offline
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Prisca
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Quote
Her resulting in tears in this matter is a very regular occurence. I'm not trying to be insensitive, but I feel as though, and I know this is judging,
If you know it is judging, then stop. Negotiation cannot take place when one spouse is judging another.

Quote
that she uses that as a bargaining tool, both to stop me from doing things and to get her way.
You're right, that's very judgmental. I wouldn't want to negotiate with you, either. Can't think of a woman alive that would want to be subjected to that.

Quote
I know that I want to make her happy and I certainly didn't want to hurt her, but yet there seemed to me no possiblity of me getting out for an hour of cycling.
The answer is not to lovebust her over it. She's not interested right now, so come up with something else to do.

You don't NEED "independent time." You're not going to die without it. Demanding that this is something your wife should give you, and judging her when she's not interested, could very well kill your marriage, though.

Quote
And I feel that its something that we should have been able to achieve, one way or another, without hurting her.
Should??

Markos' Wife
FWW - EA
8 kids ...
What to do with an Angry Husband
Re: HELP ! Please critique this "negotiation".
MrMagoo123 #2616970 04/17/12 11:12 PM
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357
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maritalbliss Offline
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maritalbliss
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I'm sleeping in the basement tonight. Yes, that is withdrawal.
Don't get started with this. Get into bed with your wife tonight.

D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!

Re: HELP ! Please critique this "negotiation".
HoldHerHand #2617520 04/19/12 10:37 AM
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 235
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Penni4Thoughts Offline
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Penni4Thoughts
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Magoo, your goal right now is to fall madly in love with each other. Don't worry about what you need to do independently right now because you aren't in the position (being madly in love) to make good decisions for your marriage. Instead, you should both focus on improving the marriage and then your decisions will be more thoughtful and caring.
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