Do you reside in a mostly Islamic country?
Will culture play a part in you being able to protect yourself?

(I am being cautious until I know the answer)

yes im a muslim, & as in my religion the man can marry 4 times
i can never share my husband or live with the thought of him having another woman in his life

its killing me

We understand the pain.
I'm so sorry.

In your country, is a wife legally allowed to divorce?
Can your H take your children from you if you divorce?

im allowed to file for a divorce, but my husband & i are both from different nationalities my kids have double nationality..

does plan A & B work over the phone or texts or skype cz thats the only ways of communication we have as we are in two different countries ??

Plan A is meeting WH's emotional needs while making efforts to halt the affair.


It is possible to meet some of these needs long distance.
And it is obviously impossible to meet some of the needs long distance.

The purpose of Plan A is to show your absolute best self to your wayward.
The purpose of Plan A is not to become some doormat where he can abuse your good nature.

Please, click the link in my sig line that says "Carrot/Stick of Plan A".

Sometimes, the BS (betrayed spouse) only wants to do the "carrot" part of Plan A because they are fearful that the "stick" of Plan A will end their marriage.
This is a mistake that then teaches the wayward that they can treat you badly without consequences.
The wayward has no motivation to change when there is only the "carrot".

Read the linked "carrot/stick" thread, and ask questions here on your thread.

You're not ready for Plan B.
Plan B is after a few weeks of a really stellar Plan A .... and because of the geographical distance troubling your marriage, you should not jump to Plan B this quickly.

Tell your parents about the affair and the pregnancy.
You need real life support, not just this forum.

Do you work outside the home? What do you do?

Take care.

Can you convince WH to return home now?
Living together now would give your marriage the best chance of making it through this crisis.

he cant come now because of the debts he hase over there i have no financial support here, the instalment of the house i live in here is paid by him,, its a big mess i dont know whre to start.

im not working right now but im looking out for a job!!

hello everyone,

latest updates he decided to end his affair and he will not take any financial help from her, he will manage to clear his debts,,
but he is so angry at me when we speak on the phone, as if bcz of me he is forced to do this and puting the full blame into me !!!
i dont know how react to this situation, ?? pls help!!!

Try not to react. Stay sweet and calm and reiterate telling him the same things:
I want to save my marriage
Our marriage is worth it


Their mindsets are amazing...they get themselves into this situation and then blame you for it??? Makes no sense whatsoever! It does no good to argue though. Try to state everything in a positive way and avoid the blame game and accusatory attitude. Sorry, I know this is hard!

Thanx for the advice ! i will do everything it takes to save my marriage,,

i really appreciate the support!

That's what you tell him!