If you used someone else as the IM, your WH would still find some excuse. Mine did. And ITA with Indie. I have had the experience of having non-MB IMs, and while they meant well, too much got through. Now that I have had an MB IM, it has made a world of difference to my peace of mind.

WHiP, you have email.Let's get this Plan B going! if you're ever tempted to break Plan B, come here and vent. We'll help you through it. You can do this, starting now!

Princess Meggy is going to be your IM? Excellent! You'll be in very good hands!

Princessmeggy set up as IM. I have copied the PBL in my own handwriting and would like to give it to WH ASAP. Tonight if possible. I haven't had any contact w/ WH since last week already. Would I need to hand-deliver it? Or would it be better to have someone else give it to him?

Hand deliver or mail, possibly leave it somewhere you know he will get it.

How easy would it be to hand-deliver? If you do hand-deliver it, do it without any drama because you want his last memory of you is a smile on your face, warm and loving. No tears, okay? If you can't handle it, then mail it.

Took Neak's advice and decided to leave the PBL on WH's car windshield so he'd find it in the morning. Wrapped it up in a ziploc baggie and went to his parent's house at 10:30 PM. He was sitting in his car! (A car his parent's purchased for him a week ago that he has YET to tell me he has). I handed him the letter, turned to walk away and said "Do not follow me." Whaddayaknow, the "addict" followed me.

I locked the doors, backed up and headed back down the long driveway. He stood in front of my car and wouldn't let me leave! I should've taken my chance and just gunned it. Instead, I calmly asked him to move or I would call the police. He begged and pleaded to talk to me, asked why I wouldn't talk to him, and on and on he went. Silly wayward. I told him to read the letter. He finally backed away from the front of the car and I left. Didn't even look back! I know it'll get tough the next few days, but Plan B feels good tonight.

Thanks all you MBers for the support & encouragement! Without all of you I'd have already been headed down a dreaded road of false recovery. Your prayers and willingness to share your stories has inspired & strengthened me for this terribly ugly road. I am so grateful to have found this site!

Wow, I'm sorry you had to endure all of that drama. Makes you wish you'd mailed it! But you're in Plan B now, it'll be easier once you get past the initial w/d from him.

He'll still try to break through, to have his cake and waaaaaahhhhh eat it too. You are SO MEAN for cutting off his supply of family cake!

Eventually when he sees you mean business, he'll settle down. If he wants to pass a message that actually goes through, he may eventually even use the IM.

If he finds ways at first to break through, don't worry. Just calmly realize there is a leak to plug, plug it, and then go back to being the glorious, radiant person you are. Repeat as often as needed.

Welcome to Plan B WHiP

Now, I am glad you are feeling good tonight. Entering Plan B can be empowering for some, and it sounds like you are one empowered awesome goddess right now.

Expect in the next few days to be nervously and somewhat eagerly anticipating WH's response. Do what you can to distract yourself. Expect you will also start to realise the enormity of life without him. Withdrawal. I think you have read enough to have an idea how it will be.

Soooo... what are you planning for yourself over the next few days? What supports do you have in place?

And I'll beat Scotty to it... What colour are your toenails right now?

Awesome! This: it sounds like you are one empowered awesome goddess right now.

Good for you, take care of yourself, and the fact that you wouldn't talk to him is probably a good thing for him to see right off the bat...no more negotiation!

I don't know that I could read enough to prepare me for withdrawl! But hopefully I'm praying enough not to falter on being dark.


Excercise! Something I did off-and-on while married, but I've started to enjoy again. Walking, jogging, riding my bike. I'd really like to look into some type of kickboxing.
I'm still SAHM for our 2 little ones and we do lots of learning activities, visit parks and play outside. They always keep me busy. DS leaves for FL with WH on Friday so I'll be getting some little care packages ready for him to open while he's away from me for 7 days. (DS. not WH. I used to always hide little trinkets and treats in WH's suitcase when he would have to travel. Guess he'll be left out this time!)
A N D - my favorite - "The Avengers" comes out Friday! Anybody else as excited as me?! DS LOVES Iron Man (and i share his infatuation - Robert Downey Jr as Tony Stark is hilarious!) so we're watching Marvel movies this week (Thor, Iron Man, Capt'n America) and going to see Avengers Friday morning - just the two of us. We're both counting down the days.

As far as supports? Me & the kids are staying with my parents & sister. They're wonderfully supportive and have wanted me to have NC with WH for a while. They know he's a talker and gaslighter and hate how it makes me feel after I talk to him. My close friends are overwhelmingly supportive too. Princessmeggy from the MB forum is my IM. I've heard wonderful things about her via this thread and am confident she'll do a better job keeping WH from getting through than a friend would have. I have an email filter set up that sends any emails from his addresses straight to her and deletes them from my inbox. I also downloaded an app (MrNumber for android) that allows me to block certain phone calls & texts. And the caller isn't sent to voicemail (I was worried about that). The phone just hangs up. A N D texts are deleted. Yay!!!
My uncle and my grandpa both live two and three houses down from me so if WH shows up unexpectedly I can call either one of them if I need to. Or the police, of course. For more effect. Lol! I also have all of you at MB! That is invaluable to me.

Say what??! I guess there's an inside joke there that I haven't read up on yet. lol! Since I'm not aware of what that might be, I'll take the questoin literally - they're a taupe color right now. Not for long though - I change nail polishes almost as frequently as I change my socks!

It is a literal question! us Plan Bers have standards to keep up, as well as our morale with pretty pedicures...

The girls, that is. Though the boys can join in if they want.

I would tell you my pedi colour, but I have a toe injury! The only flaw in my otherwise flawless Plan B.

Taupe sounds cool.

I LOVE reading your posts!

PS:

Mine are currently a deep purple. And, I'm not even in a flawless Plan B !

In Plan B it's important to keep your spirits up. Part of that is looking good every day for YOU because YOU'RE worth it. For example, you still put on nice clothes except when cleaning the basement, you keep shaving your legs, etc.

It's much cuter and catchier to ask each other "What color are your toenails today?" than "So....did you remember to shave?"

Toenails: every once in a while you can leave them unpolished to be a little bit risqu�.


Plan B, well, whenever it is challenged, stay calm appearing and yet firm with your boundaries. No lovebusting ever.

Toenails? Shaving????



Estrogen Overload!!!! Run, fellas!!!!

When he realizes his number is blocked, he may try from a different phone...be prepared to steel yourself and hang up. Don't say anything, just hang up. You can always change your number. If you have the kids call him, you can block the number so he can't make note of it.

Mine are a bright green - the nail polish was purchased to mark some wood in a project we were doing, and after we got done I took it and used it. I feel like a teenager again!

Good luck Whip!!

Bright purple toenails and just did fingernail a bright glitter pink......but i have been eyeing this bright blue polish.....might have to make another polish purchase.