These ups and downs are killing me.
I was feeling strong then WH called and was sweet and sad on the phone. I could feel him missing me and it made me miss him too. He didn't want to let me off the phone.
It's moments like these that I have those nagging doubts saying to just forget everything and let him back in.

Keep your resolve...I had to pay my XH's phone bill when we divorced too...the only options are to let him know so he can switch to his own plan, or pay the termination fee which would cancel his phone, or suspend his phone, which would cut off his phone but you continue making payments. Usually they'll give you credit for months already used in the agreement.

It's best if you can separate your accounts/bills and not know what each other are doing as it's a trigger when you know.

Hoping, I'd stop talking to him if I were you. He's too good at the 'I'm a kicked puppydog' act when he's not, he's an adulterer and completely unrepentant.

You are supposed to be manipulating HIS lovebank in Plan A, not the other way around!

You've Plan Ad your heart out, you can do the rest via email to save having your heartstrings played.

Only make sure to only give his emails only a cursory scan and delete quick unless it says 'yes I meet your conditions in full'

If you do keep talking to him, play a tune in your head, only listen to the magic words YIMYCIF that show real love. Be deaf to everything else.

Youre at war! With an addict!

I'm not ready to stop talking to him yet. I only have a few more days till plan B so I will stick it out until then.

OK, but retune your ears to hear the fogbabble. You are supposed to be affecting him more than he does you.

Any response from Dr. Harley yet?

Having an ok day today. This is the day I would have left to see WH. I am getting more and more nervous about plunging into Plan B, which will be on 5/3. I have made some changes to my PBL and would appreciate any suggestions. I wanted to make it more heart felt and personal.

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Dear Cucu,
I love you with all my heart and hope that we will be together again someday. Some of the happiest years of my life have been shared with you. I cherish the memory of waking up in your arms, spending lazy Sunday mornings in bed together, and walking through beautiful scenery with our sweet puppy.

It is with a heavy heart that I sit here and put my thoughts and feelings on paper. The last two months have been very difficult for me, some of the most emotionally traumatic in my life. I have done a lot of soul searching and realized that I cannot feel secure or content without your complete and enthusiastic efforts to be radically honest and become a partner with me in our marriage.

I apologize to you for my part in creating an environment that allowed for your online infidelities and decision to move away without me. I foolishly insisted on living in Minnesota when it was clear that you were unhappy there. I did not negotiate this with you when you needed me to the most and now we are both suffering.

I will avoid the mistakes I�ve made in the past and create a new life for both of us that will make you happy. But I can�t do this until you are willing to follow the measures to rebuild our marriage that we have been discussing for the past several weeks that I emailed to you on 4/29/12.
Until then I need to avoid seeing or talking to you. My friend, xxx, has agreed to be an intermediary for you to communicate with if you need to contact me. Her email is xxx
I ask you to respect my decision to stop all communication with you. It is too painful for me to continue contact without an agreement to the all of the measures that will safeguard our marriage.

As soon as you are willing to follow the measures that were suggested to rebuild our marriage, I will be willing to discuss our future together.

I want so much for you to hold me in your arms again and protect me from life�s difficulties and pain. I want us to avoid doing anything to hurt each other and have a beautiful life and family together. We need to build a new lifestyle in which everything we do makes us both happy and all decisions are made enthusiastically together. Then there will never be any reason for us to separate. I want to be your best friend again, someone who is always there for you and makes you happy. And I want you to be my best friend.

I�ve loved you for the past 8 years and I continue to love you as I write this. When you find yourself truly ready and willing to agree to the measures that I need in order to rebuild our marriage, I will be ready to discuss our future together.

With all my heart,
Chichi

I love it!

WH got the response from Dr. H and said he didn't "give any other options and seemed arrogant." It doesn't look like there's much hope for changing WH's mind. Here is Dr. Harley's response to WH's email:
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Negotiation in marriage should begin with the goal of finding a solution that makes both spouses happy. Whether it�s starting a business, buying a sailboat, keeping in touch with friends of the past, or anything else, nothing should be done unless it�s agreed to by both spouses in advance. That way, neither spouse gets hurt by the other. In your case, there has already been a great deal of pain inflicted by both of you because you don�t follow that simple rule. I think you agree with me that doing what you please without getting the agreement of the other spouse is a formula for marital disaster.

The reason that your marriage is about to end is that you have not considered BW�s feelings when you make your decisions. She has complained bitterly, but to no avail. To spare herself from unbearable pain in the future, she must divorce you unless you can promise her that in the future you won�t do anything without coming to an agreement with her first. From your perspective, she wouldn�t suffer any pain if you were to start a business or buy a sailboat. But from her perspective, it would be further proof that you don�t care about how she feels, and that would be the greatest cause of pain.

As for the lie detector test, it would make her feel more comfortable to know that you are telling her the truth. She thinks you have been lying to her. On the other hand, if you are not telling her the truth, tell her the truth now so that if you take the test you will pass with flying colors. Taking the test does not make you a criminal, but rather helps prove that you are honest.

Thanks for sharing Dr. H's advice.

So Hoping what do YOU think of Dr. H's advice?

As always, his advice was brilliant and I 100% agree. I wish WH thought the same.

I agree and your WH's reaction is a reassuarnce that you going into Plan B is the correct path for you.

WHs don't agree with SH because he is telling them, no-holds barred, they don't want to hear and/or aren't ready to hear.

good luck with your plan b, hoping. i'm thinking of you.

Excellent advice from Dr H.

What a wonderful piece of written advice he will have to keep him company in Plan B!

Exactly -- I hope he writes Dr. Harley during Plan B for advice on what he should do next.
I'm off to see an attorney and my IC. Plan B will begin tomorrow evening.

I've been thinking a lot about the last time I speak with WH, which will be tomorrow evening.

I want to say goodbye in some way without being obvious but wish him well in his life and future.

Maybe "If we do end up parting ways, I will always cherish the memories we have together and I wish you the best for your life in the future."

Is this ok?

I know the Plan B letter will be the last communication but I feel the need to say goodbye.

Darn, running into some problems with the bank.

The told me that I need to get WH's signature to take him off of our bank account. This is probably not going to happen.

I wonder if I could sign for him, he would probably never know that this is a requirement.

Forgery is illegal. Open a new bank account at a different bank and transfer your share of the money into the new account.

Ok problem solved. I opened a new account (at the same bank) and will transfer the money there when I go into Plan B.