Thanks for helping clarify. My sleep deficit was catching up with me, maybe my post wasn't very clear. I really wanted to know if 4 day delay in exposure would be a negative impact, but my real instinct was to keep DS6 safe and not exposed to WH & OW anger .... thanks ML for your advice re delay.

I did wonder though if exposure 4 days prior to their 4 day visit to Sydney was wise, I don't want any temporary escape from the fallout. Hopefuly it dampens their trip... oops did I say that. Trip to Sydney is OW birthday present so she can go shopping ... my share of the rental income part paid this ... aagh

Either Pep or ML once posted a cartoon about 'soulmate schmoopies' which is very similar to your situation.

As the affair partner's love sickness starts to pale, the OW begins to steal BWs clothes to look more like her, making WH call her a psycho

Meantime the WH keeps dropping by BWs house, which annoys her as she's usually expecting guests. Even though she repeatedly asks him to leave, he just witters on about how she must let him go and stop clinging to him!

Check this out it will give you a laugh.
Soulmate Schmoopies

Indie - ML posted a link to schmoopies, another great laugh, sadly I could identify.

The I'm a good mother (not correct title) was a classic OW believes she is "step mother of the year material" as noted on her FB (was told about this before going dark) like soulmate schmoopies she has 4 cats .... her parenting views must be right then!

I appreciate the links you post BH you always seem to find a link that suits the situation or will provide relief.

ML had actually posted the link on this thread. Good for a laugh and keeping the wayward babble in perspective. I think that was the hardest thing for me, accepting he was an alien but trying to reconcile it with the father and husband I knew. I kept hoping he was somewhere insude the alien and I could reason with the man I knew, particularly when it came to issue about our children. I couldn't believe someone who had never hurt me in the past could be so cold and cruel now.

Indiegirl, exposure in Plan B is often very effective especially when someone has been In a too long Plan A. The reason is because she won't be around to see the fallout. Without her there to take the fallout, they will only have each other to lovebust!

I really love this timing! Instaed of having a wonderful trip they will be sick about the exposure. What a damper!

A big thank you to everyone for posting. I appreciate your words of wisdom, encouragement and support. I love the photos and links that make me laugh.

Its great to be able to post any dilemmas or concerns and have feedback to either confirm your on the right track or maybe guide you.

Sounds good to me. Bring on the love busting. It will be nice that its between them and not OW manipulating so WH and I lovebust.

Fantastic you have made my day ML. I was so focused on a effective nuclear exposure and the timing. I was worried the delay might provide temporary relief, but hoping it would dampen their trip. Feels like a sweet victory, given he used my half share of the rental income to pay for the flights. I might add I intended to use the money to pay for the removal of a potential melanoma. So a damper on their holiday would be a bonus.

indie, the post i meant was the one that ended with:

ps: babble

that one made me snort tea up my nose (ow!) and i think happy could use a good belly laugh! just don't be sipping anything happy!

Letty your a gem. Its been a long two days. I've had no contact with wayterd (name suits him today) but have been in contact with our Bank and conveyancing lawyer (friend) re his irrational decision to default.

This would make a good episode for "soulmate schmoopies" our mortgage repayments are paying for a new BMW, holidays, clothes new furniture, dining out, the list goes on.

Funny how things he accused me of (all untrue) they either have been or are now doing. Wayward projection..... soulmate schmoopies. In the spirit of cartoons ... I'm sure its my fault he had to default to pay for their lifestyle.

Tonight I am sitting down with a DVD (comedy) and a hot chocolate. Back to the exercise tomorrow I've been a bit slack the last couple of mornings.

From reading other threads I obviously need to invest in new nail polish for my toes!

I know the one, its on my thread and I almost spat my coffee out reading it. I'll go find it, it is sure to get happy laughing.

Found it! And it still makes me snort!!!

thanks caracal! it made me snort again this morning (only i was smart enough not to have a mouthful of tea this time!).

happy, you've really got to be on your game today/this weekend. your WH is probably going to try to break through your plan b, maybe even in person. he is likely to be very angry that you are trying to "control" him (yes, he will miss the irony of having nothing to do with him - what IS with the wayward mind??) have you put a filter on your email/nuked the old one? are you prepared with a plan of what to do if he comes to your house? you really, really, really need to avoid seeing/speaking with him in any way. remember, as far as he knows, you did NOT receive that email. stay strong and stand your ground. i know you'll get plenty of support and advice here today!

it's cross country day today. thank goodness it is sunny, if not warm.

Caracal - thanks for the "babble letter" no cuppa whilst reading so safe to laugh

Letty - It is hard I miss my husband, our family and our life. Its sad that we miss the contact even if its not quality contact.

Maybe someone can enlighten me, why do waywards want to break contact if they are so consumed by their fantasy? I don't understand in my stich he is projecting anger onto me and if he believes his babble why would he want to contact me, what possible fix could he get. Maybe I shouldn't try to understand a wayward. I just feel knowledge is power, it may help to ignore contact if I understand why he would try.

He's an addict and to truly understand an addict you have to understand their need for a fix.

He has two women meeting his needs. That's why waywards have narcisstic characteristics. He gets a fix knowing he is causing you pain. If he contacts you then in his crazy mind he knows he will be on your mind. That's why Dr. Harley stresses no contact at all in Plan B. It's for your health.

BTW I don't mean that my stich is unique I know the patterns and plans are the same. Its just he seems so angry at me and badmouthing me to kids etc, thats why I don't understand why he would want any contact. Is it just a case of ego feeding if he gets a reaction or a is it a way to confirm his foggy justification?

Thanks BH I couldn't make sense of why he'd need a fix from me. The way things have been recently I didn't think I was meeting any of his needs. As crazy as their logic is you've helped me try to understand. I know Plan B is to heal, recover and promote good health, but after reading your post I see why its important for WH as well... stop meeting his needs and let OW try to meet all those needs and let time, reality and their eventual LB take its course.

Exactly happy.

With you completely out of the picture the two lurv birds have only each other. They can't use you as a scapegoat.

The OW can't say " oh honey poo your mean wife is just so mean". You're out of the picture so all their pig manure is all over each other to roll around in.
If you take his calls or text and "nag at him" then they use you as the bad guy to keep their craziness alive.

Plan B is to keep the BS out of their pig slop.