I do plan on going Plan B because there will no longer be a marriage. I fought for that. Now there will only be a person that is no longer my W. A person that turned the lives of 4 other people upside down. I will preserve my LB so that I don't end up angry or bitter in the event that she ever decides she wants to try again. Who knows how I will feel at that point?

Maybe in your eyes and the eyes of others that see what I don't. At this moment I don't feel like a success. Maybe when some time has passed, I'll feel differently. It's hard to take no for an answer and it's hard to accept that I wasn't able to achieve the results that I wanted.

Thank you BH

GJM, I do understand how you feel. I've been there too, but Divorce is NOT failure. It is you enforcing your boundries . That is not failure, its what good people do and you are a good person. It is you showing your strength and resolve to NOT live in a loveless, disrespectful, cheating marriage.

Once you get away from all this drama, you will feel much better about yourself and your life. You DO have a bright future ahead of you and will be a great catch for a good woman. Believe it!

How ironic that I just got a call from OMW today. She called to check on me. She's still at home with her POS and he has been checking in with her every time he does anything. I warned her that my W looked for him online and she said she's been monitoring the phone bill and has the only mailbox key. Her POS no longer had a smartphone and has been working to get her back in the marriage, but she feels there is too much damage and pain associated with what they did. No paper work has been filed for their divorce either and they are trying to force the POS out of the Marine Corps.

I didn't chat long because I don't know if the no contact is still in effect, but I just thought it was weird to get that call on the last day to save my marriage. She sounded like she was still living the nightmare. She cries every day and she said she was sorry for what happened. I thought it was a nice gesture.

And maybe it was a reminder of what your life could have looked like had you chosen another path. Did you need more proof that you are an MB success? Success takes on many different forms. Coming out of this ordeal with a brighter outlook on life than you had before you enacted your Plan A is a success in my book.

You did everything you could. More than most would. You fought the good fight. And not only will you survive your WW's affair, you are going to thrive. And you have helped your children in more ways that you can understand ATM. They have learned valuable lessons from you that they will carry into their own marriages and relationships. That's all on YOU. You have EVERYTHING to be proud of. You did good.

Well, if I could add something substantial to this, I would. But I can't. Scotty summed up my thoughts perfectly.

I know this sucks to high heaven but you and your children really will be better in the long run, regardless of what happens in the next couple of days.

I truly do admire you for your efforts and fight in your attempts to restore your family. Rest knowing you did the best that you could. I couldn't have done what you did. You certainly have my respect.

Peace and Godspeed.

Scotty and TW and LNT summed it up really well.

Did you tell OM's BW about MB?

Thanks Scotty, LNT, and TW,

BH, I told OMW about MB 5 months ago and I asked her if she ever used it or learned about it and she said no. She couldn't see past her hurt and anger and wasn't willing to open her heart to anything. It's unfortunate too.

It sounds like they've never recovered from his affairs.

Will you be with your kids this weekend? Or with family to keep you busy?

X2.

Thinking of you GJM.

(hugs)

Just keep an open mind now, keep yourself focussed on your children.
You are a survivor, a better man inside now. Your stbxw if a fool.
She will figure that out someday.
Jessi

Yes I'll have the kids with me. I have plenty to do. I'm also running my first race tomorrow. It's a 5k with obstacles. Looks fun.

Is it a dirty dash?

It sounds like they've never recovered from his affairs.

That was surprising from you, BH, and assumes facts not in evidence.

From this poster's viewpoint, it would appear that WW has swallowed a large overdose of the "If you're not happy, don't work to fix things; run away!" poison. Sadly, there is no known antidote, especially as onlookers keep applying additional doses of the same substance.

Gunny, I hope you don't take personally the fact that on your last day married you get spattered with that. You have fought the best fight possible. Responsibility for the negative outcome is not, and never will be, laid at your door.

NG,

I was talking about OM and his BW not GJM and his W.

We were talking about how she (OM's BW) contacted GJM and how she is still crying every day.

Sorry you thought I was talking to GJM. I hope this clears it up Mr. NG, my friend? I'm glad you were surprised that I would say that because I wouldn't be that heartless.

Ok?

It's called the Roc Run. They have a web site that has pictures and what not. Reminds me of the TV show Wipeout.

Sounds fun. Good luck.

GJM,

Good for you with the race. I just started roller-blading with my son and got us all bikes, but no racing (yet!). I have not been in this good of shape since my 20s. An unplanned benefit of all this drama

Seriously though, I have admired your plan A fortitude and your committment to your family and marriage these last months. You have inspired me in some of my darker moments. I appreciate it tremendously.

Hi Blackhawk,

It means a lot to hear you say that. Thanks.

The race was a lot of fun. There was a lot of water and mud. It reminded me of the show "Wipeout".

Today starts my new life as a divorced man. I guess nothing really changes except the label of being divorced. That's not a title I wanted, that's for sure.

Well.
Nothing changed with the decree but you will have the sky as your limit now.

You can be the bestest Dad and the bestest pal to other people.

You are free to make decisions in a way you couldn't while married.

God bless.