I like Frollo it seems totally appropriate.

I did enjoy PEGI I think this maybe a good name for my OW

Funny. Love the nicknames! All I can think of is Pinnochio (may have to shorten it to Pinoke). The lies just keep coming, more and more ridiculous, and he looks like a bigger idiot all the time. Plus, every time I look at him, I just see this puppet on strings that OW dances around to her delight, and the detriment of everyone else. He has this painted smile on his face, while she has his little wooden legs kicking his kids in the teeth. Oh, and the turning into a donkey . . . can't forget that part:) Yes, I think that's it for me. Thanks, girls:) Made me laugh.

Another vote for Frollo.

I never thought of Frollo in this light but can now see he is pure wayward. Using whatever means available to justify his cruel actions.

WHiP, this was a turning point in my long road to recovery. Renaming the wayward. Knowing the man of the previous name was no longer there.

Starting to see him as the person he has become, rather than who he once was.

Yes these OW are a super stinky POS..........or PEGI

Biblically, God would oftentimes grant his followers name changes after they experienced a changing encounter with The Almighty. (Abram=Abraham, Jacob=Israel, Saul=Paul, etc.)

Marion Michael Morrison = John Wayne!

Another vote for Frollo!

Where were you guys when I was going through this four years ago! I think they have to earn getting their name changed back.

Sure thing!
From henceforth WH shall be referred to as Frollo.

While I'm on the subject, it seems Frollo hasn't deposited anything into our checking account. He started his job started 4.16.12. The Plan B letter reads:
"Financially speaking, I expect you to continue to support your family by depositing your paychecks into our checking account so that bills can still be paid and necessities purchased."
I am still a SAHM, and not seeking employment.
Side-story from weeks ago, before Plan B - Frollo originally told me he was working the first three weeks at his new job voluntarily (about 9-10 days). This was so he could go with his family to Florida. (He works three weeks for free = new boss lets him go on family vacation) I believe that's a complete lie. Perhaps to keep $$$ for himself, I'm not sure. I did not tell Frollo I suspected he was lying, only that I believed it was illegal for an employer not to pay workers for their hours. Unless he would be getting a paid vacation, which Frollo said he wasn't. I told him I would look into it, and even contact his new employer if I needed to to be sure he was paid for his hours. He instructed me not to as working voluntarily was his idea and he would take care of it.
Any words of wisdom on how to handle this?

Pursue emergency family support through courts, backdated to WH leaving the home. I don't give a tinker's damn how he get the money (nor should you), but he either coughs it up to the court's satisfaction or gets cited for contempt.

Frollo has no ethics, morals, or conscience. Only someone similarly equipped to fight dirty will beat him. Will that be you?

Well, I do have high ethics, morals and a conscience, but I can fight dirty.
I'm smart. I'm quick. And I'm a tough fighter.
Especially when dealing with negative archaic people like Frollo.

My downfall at this point is I unfortunately don't even know where to begin! Do I retain a lawyer? WHERE do I even look for a lawyer? Do I have to file for a legal separation before the courts will require financial support to be granted? I've been Googling my heart out because I don't have the foggiest idea on how to properly go about this in a legal way.
I want to.
I want to be educated and I want to have a Plan.

What you do is call three family law attorneys.

You see which ones get back to you right away or who actually answer their own phones.

Over the phone, you get an idea of what your situation is and basic procedures in your state you reside in. That discussion should not cost money. It is informational to see if you wish to proceed further and with a particular practitioner of law. If they say they charge for the initial phone discussion....you say no thanks and look further. There are a lot of attorneys. You want one who is passionate about their job and like to talk about it to potential clients.

Then, if you like one's communication skills, you consider making an appointment with them (costs money....perhaps around $300) and decide if you are going to need to file something.

You listen to the lawyer you choose and yet you run the show. They have input and knowledge about the law and you decide how to proceed. They work for you and make good money doing so.

HTH

An even quicker jump-start would be to see if your jurisdiction has a "Legal Aid" or "Family Services" organization as a part of the county government. Especially for emergency actions like your need for family support $, they usually can get the ball rolling.

Hi WHip, just checking in to see how you are doing? Have you had any luck with finding a lawyer or at least getting some preliminary advice?

Sorry, I should not have put this on your thread, kinda thread jacking without meaning to. Tried to delete it, but don't know how. I do love Frollo for your WH, though:) Perfect! Also love the nickname idea. Less heartache.

whip, how's it going? any luck legal-wise. keep your chin up, girl! you're doing great.

Quick update: Thanks for "light on the path" reading! Been researching family lawyers in the area. Have a list of potentials to call Monday, along with questions I have for them about how my situation might be handled. Also looking in to any emergency Family Service programs that might be available to get a quick-start on this. Thanks for that suggestion NG.

Frollo has munchkins this weekend so I'm enjoying lovely alone-time. Nails are mint green, toenails are a sparkly nude color. Going to a small-town fair tonight with my sister and I plan to thoroughly enjoy me a funnel cake!

I was reading Happy's thread and saw it recommended that the BS NOT pack a bag for times the children spend with the WS. This struck me as it's something I have done & continue to do - even yesterday! I have the children's clothing w/ me (and DD's diaper bag) so I pack PJ's & extra clothes for them to have when w/ Frollo. I have always received them back. But I now easily see how this meets an EN. And, I never ask him to pack things when I have the kids or take them somewhere. My question is how should I best resolve this?
1. Provide Frollo w/ some of the children's clothing to keep at his parents' house so I am now longer packing a bag OR
2. Inform Frollo that I will no longer pack bag (or diaper bag) and leave it up to him to purchase/find clothing for the children.

BTW-RS i was not offended! Love the pinoke name and imagery of what you wrote.

I'm also happy to report that Monday it will be 3 weeks since I've seen, heard, or had any direct contact at all with Frollo. Yay Me!
3 weeks ago I didn't know if I'd make it this far and Plan C was looking pretty tempting.... (not a good plan at all)

Awesome, well done. Its good to hear you are so happy and feeling stronger. Great update for anyone about to go into Plan B.

Dosn't the nickname for waywards make it easier!

Have your IM inform WS that he will have to start supplying his own set of clothes. By next visit. I would not just drop off kids wo them. That is something kids remember...you don't want WS to be able to play the victim

You also might want to contact the Dept of Human Services...they could get you emergency aid and then come after him for reimbursement...it might be kind of nice to not have to be in the role of waiting on him to cough up $...they have their ways. He may have no intention of giving you any more money, it's hard to predict waywards, just nothing surprises me anymore. The important thing is to ensure the kids are provided for. There should be some free attorney services for no income or low income people.

WHispastor. Continuing with the Dept of Human Services idea...look into get his wages garnished. This is great for people in Plan B. It eliminates the need for any contact with WH because the Dept will chase him around for you and automatically deposit the funds into your account.

Dept of Human Services share P/R info with other states when quarterly p/r taxes are filed. Even if WH moves to another state or gets a "secret" job...they will find him. Their computers flag a MATCH and the dept then follows through with the new employer.

I don't know what the requirements are to get wages garnished but the Dept will. They are very pro child support.

Talk to a lawyer about your suspicions of WH trying to hide income.