Here you go.
Carrot and Stick of Plan A

Lots of relevant points have been raised. I feel maybe suggesting you get forensics is a bluff to mislead you, get you off the scent so to speak. I'm not up on forensics, but he probably feels safe that all evidence was removed in the wash.

I've hesitated in chiming in here.

Still, maybe it should be raised.

As a "sparky", does your WH work on new construction or do maintanence calls?

I have known of electricians that do house visits and receive "perks" from OW for doing bonus jobs.

Your WH sounds new to the covering up. Hopefully this means it is not a way of life rather than just the first time he has felt at risk of getting caught.

I agree that you really need to get a VAR in his toolbox or something. Find out more. SNOOP.

Hi again, its been a few days. I have also been posting elsewhere as well. I am going to have to take a better look at the plan A.
I really don't understand this. I'm broken and I can't believe he would do this to the kids!!

He never gets called out on a job and I don't believe that it benefits him to do things for sexual favors, at least not financially since he works for someone else.

He doesn't use my computer, which is now the only one, and I never see him use his work phone, it just sits there on the counter all night and I've even gone through it in front of him, but the numbers mean nothing to me. Its merely a work phone.

I have just had it. I'm tired, I think I've aged 10 years in the past week. I can hardly function. I have to go to my 9 year olds recorder recital right now and I don't even want to. I'm so sad and its so obvious my face is swollen, its all over me that I've been crying.

This is a guy that tells me and has told me that adulterers go to hell and he is a Christian and wouldn't do this.
He is still insisting on the forensic and even says he'll take a polygraph.

I really just need some online hugs and comfort. No one in real life is here for me. I'm alone.

I can't help not wanting to be alive anymore.

Hugs to You!!!!

Take him up on that polygraph offer. Get him hooked up and then ask, "Was she wearing lipstick and her dentures when she put her mouth on your underwear, or was it just the lipstick?"

Hugs to You!!!!

Take him up on that polygraph offer. Get him hooked up and then ask, "Was she wearing lipstick and her dentures when she put her mouth on your underwear, or was it just the lipstick?"

Blahhahahahahah!!! Maybe no dentures. That would be his type. Skanky. Well, I don't care if she's Mrs. Universe, a whore is a whore is a whore.

I'm so upset, but I made it to my 9 year old boy's recorder concert, I lovingly watched him fake every note just like I did at his age, and clapped and took pictures and faked happy like I was the queen of the world. It took me a half an hour to park because I had to find a place and walk with 2 babies.

I've had a day from hell. + My 2 year old wiped his crap all over me this morning, I guess that was his way of saying that he needed a bath and I needed to shower asap.

When it rains it pours!

While the Marriage Builder's website cannot become involved in threats of this kind, please know that your pain is taken seriously. Please contact a suicide crisis center in your area, call 1-800-SUICIDE or call your family physician.

PLEASE get help!

We do care!!!

Thank you for caring. I'm not planning on jumping off a bridge or anything so don't worry.
This is hard, though and I'm going to have to make some real painful hard choices. This is so so hard.

It is hard, 18. But taking control of the situation instead of it controlling you will empower you.
Insist on the polygraph!

Hugs to you
RQ

You get two points for this quote


LOL!

Look at the good side: At least he wiped it on you instead of putting it in his mouth.

I have to add that no matter how hard this gets, I love my 5 kids too much to hurt them by hurting myself in any way.

signing out for the night due to Pig being home now.

I have 4 kids and they (and my mom and SIL) are what kept me getting out of bed every morning and force-fed me! Your kids need a mama bear and need to know they can depend on YOU!

I got a tattoo on my arm just after dday with the saying "Blessed Be" and it has 4 stars around it - one for each child. It is a reminder to me that no matter how hard life seems to be at the time, I am blessed!

18,
the seriousness of going through learning a spouse might have been unfaithful can't be overstated. Dr. Harley's research has found it to be more stressful and painful than losing a child.

What you are feeling is real, but it is also normal. We have all been there on this site and have pulled each other through.

You will make it. Know that there is help in many places when you need it.

(((((((((18)))))))))

opt

Oh 18, you're doing SO well. I remember that zombie feeling after Dday very well and look at you get up and do your mum thing anyway. A heroine that's what you are.

Remember Plan A lasts only a few weeks. If he can't reassure you there's no A you go into Plan B.

Part of Plan A is standing up for yourself. Say yes to the poly. You might want to read Starfishes thread for some pointers... (Anyone have a link?)

In the meantime snoop. You sound very strong so lean on that.

Hugs hugs hugs.

Believe me, one way or another life will get better. Dday is rock bottom and the only way is up.

It is painful to discover your WH has been unfaithful. All the emotions you are experiencing are normal. Its important to let yourself feel, don't push the emotions aside, let them out. Cry, vent (here on MB). For me I kept a journal and recorded my thoughts and feelings ... this helped.

You will find amazing support and encouragement here on MB. It really helps posting here because everyone has walked in our shoes, they understand what we face and how we feel.

You will feel as though you are on a rollercoaster and there will be days where it is tough to get out and about, there will also be days when you will smile and laugh. This is normal too. The love for your children will give you the strength to carry on during the low times.

We are all here for you, there will always be someone online who will respond.

So, what's the date on the poly? When's it scheduled?

How many votes do we have that this 'offer' is merely a wayward bluff and as soon as 18 requests it, he'll start blathering on about trust?

Vote 1.

Ok. At this point I am willing to believe this thread.
It started out so crazy, I was wondering if this was true,
but I guess my time here has taught me, anything is possible in an A situation.

18- I do believe there is only one reason that this woman left lipstick marks -she wanted to let you know she is there.

I beleive your WH thought the wash would remove the "evidence" -(Silly man, "tricks" are for hookers- joke on him.) So at the last minute, when he checked and found the stain still there - he had to create a whopper.......

Ok. If she is there, and she is leaving her mark to identify her teritory (like a cat spraying in heat) - that means she wants something--- possibly YOUR life....
YOU are going to have to decide what your plan is.

Plan A is a great way to buy you time to investigate, and decide what the next step is. It is very painful, but will only lasts weeks, not months and months.

You really need to read, read, read.

I am so sorry you are here.