It won't be hard to be the bestest dad and friend. I've always been that kind of person. Making decisions in a way I couldn't while married isn't something I wanted to do, but I know what you're saying. I'll just take it one day at a time and see where I go from there. I think I'll post some pics in the photo section

So, how's your Plan B coming along? Did you get an IM? Did you send a PBL? Do you have everything figured out for exchanges of the kids? Are you in NC?

Scotty,

I'm not in contact, but I didn't write a Plan B letter. I didn't see a point. The marriage is over.

Hey GJM, hope you're hanging in there. Of course you're hanging in there, you're a Marine!

Anyway, I just wanted to say good luck with the D on May 20th. It's crumby what she's done. But what can you do besides get away from the craziness?

Remember: There are plenty of women out there. All you have to do is talk to them.

Semper Fi.

Okay, but do you have an IM? How do you handle exchanges? Are they done without seeing her?

I'm aware that the marriage is over, but there are still HUGE benefits to Plan B your ex.

What kind of benefits?

Removing yourself from the drama. There is drama in these types of situations. I have actively suggested that my sister go Plan B with her WxH. Almost every other day, she is calling me about some situation, which if it went through an IM, she wouldn't even know the extent of. I have suggested that she even go to emails only, but I think a part of her thrives on the drama.

Also, you would begin to personally recover much more quickly if you didn't have interactions with your WxW. You would feel much more peace and be able to focus on the well being of your children.

There are MANY xBSs that have Plan B's their xWSs after a D on these boards, and there are many more who could greatly benefit from it.

I would suggest it to you.

And besides, if you did start to date in the future, you shouldn't have any contact with your WxW, so you may as well start now.

Yes I agree. I plan B my XWH and we have no drama.

I know others who don't and it's constant drama. I didn't even have drama at my DS's graduation.

Keeps my peace of mind.

It's been a month since my divorce. So far there's no drama. I dislike that my WXW invites my son to do things right before she leaves, but he usually doesn't go so it's not an issue. I am keeping busy with coaching football and work. It should be busy until December. I have my bad moments where I miss her and I get down, but it doesn't last long. Being a single parent and working, on top of coaching can be hard some times, but I manage. I wish things would have gone in a more positive direction, but I am determined to recover.

Two days ago I ran into the OMs wife while picking up some things from the store. It was the first time I had ever seen her in person. The no contact was removed on the 11th of June. We talked for about an hour. POSOM got orders to GA. OMs W said she won't be joining him. Well that's the latest from my end.

Thanks GJM for the update. Besides all the stuff you are doing for your kids and the have to dos (like working).

What have you been doing for you?

I don't do anything for me. Everything I do is for my children and family. Time goes by so fast. It feels like I never have time to get all of the things I need to get done. I know that life isn't about me and getting and doing the things I want. Yes, I should take time to myself. I get two days a month where I'm completely alone. I use those days to clean and catch up on whatever needs to get taken care of. I put my priorities first. I've had people ask me if I was going to get out there and date, but they don't know what it feels like to go through the pain of infidelity. I have nothing to offer anyone. It would be too difficult anyway. I can't see myself in a blended family. I'm sure as time goes on, I'll start to feel differently, but for now I have my children, work and football. It will do.

People now days think once your divorced you should just get out there and start to date. I commend you for not doing that. I mean your D has only been official for a little over a months.

Yes blended families are tough. They have such a high failure rate, but with MB concepts especially POJA it can be done.

I also understand about being a single parent and being so busy with kids activities. Do you, at the very least, have an excercise routine?

I'm a Marine...exercise is a part of my job lol...it's nice to say I get paid to work out. It's not as often as I would like, but I make it work.

True, very true.

So you feel like you're ok on the self care front? Do you go out with friends or family for some adult time? Or do you not need it?

At least college and pro football will be starting soon.

GJM, thanx for the update.

What do you mean by your WxW asks your son to do things as she is leaving? Does she come to your home? Do you speak directly to her?

I know that you are divorced, but for your own personal recovery, I think you should consider getting into as close to a Plan B as possible.

Good to hear your update, GJM! Stay strong and move foreward with your kids in mind. Remind me - are you in a solid Plan B with her?

I take care of myself. I don't go out with friends. I don't feel like I need to. I have gone once or twice, but it's not my thing.

Scotty and MB,

I'm not in a Plan B per say. I just talk to WXW when needed. It doesn't affect my recovery at this time, but I do miss her. She has stated that she misses me, but she doesn't act on anything so I just let it fall like water off a duck's back. She's invited me to dinner a couple of times, but we never went. I don't hold my breath or wait around. I don't help her anymore either. She gets what the court ordered, but that's it. I see your points for Plan B, but I'm not in a place where I feel I can gain anything from it. I'm recovering little by little, but it's not easy. Not because I see her from time to time, but because I miss my family being in the same house. I miss the companionship. I think it's just part of human nature to want to feel loved.

Hey GJM,

I didn't know if you saw this question.

When she wants to go to the pool or something, she invites my son as she is leaving instead of giving me the courtesy of thinking about it. I get put on the spot because my son asks me if it's ok.