RS, I agree with BH.

He will be angry regardless, you have protection in place with PO, you've recently called the police and they responded, so you have security they will respond next time. If he reacts and the police are called, this will provide evidence to secure a permanent PO.

I personally would feel safer exposing when he is out of town, at least there is a timeframe when he can cool down rather than land on your doorstep at the height of a full blown rage.

The longer you leave it, the more anxiety and stress you will suffer.

I know camping at your parents may not be ideal, but maybe consider visiting for the weekend to give you peace of mind.

Forgot to add ... its a bonus to put a dent in their vacation. My exposure was just before Sildur took PEGI on a shopping trip to Oz for her birthday..... priceless

Well, BH convinced me, and I've been working on getting started for over an hour. Turns out, I don't have my ducks in a row as much as I thought. The list I have of her fb friends is kind of a mess - didn't turn out right once copied and pasted. Printer ran out of ink - I thought I could do it from my computer and just switch screens back and forth, but that is going to really slow me down and make prioritizing much harder.

Also, realized there is a link to WH fb page I did not know about (duh) - pictures of MY kids as his profile pic, YUCK!!! I need to get a list of his friends and expose the same time.

So I think you're both right, actually. I'm safer while he's gone. I think I'm gonna have to wait til tomorrow night, though, so I can nuclear blast everyone all at once. It's gonna take hours, I can't do it during the day uninterrupted with my kids - ignoring them all day.

You're right, happy, that would put a damper on vacation. I should've had it ready to go tonight. Just occurred to me that people may have tried to contact her, and figured out she was gone too - with WH. Oh well!

Rainy, Another thread by Japandude advised he PM 5 people then waited a minute or 2.
Don't worry about your copy being a mess, this is only a safety net if OW blocks you from her FB. If that happens you can search FB for her friends using your copy as a guide.

I was determined to do the full nuclear exposure particuarly to PEGI's friends. So I sat up all night so I could PM in the early hours of the morning and not be blocked. But then PEGI's response to my exposure was that I was "mad" maybe she was right.

My desire to expose was my driving force, I was standing against PEGI's lies, she wasn't normalising her A with my children, her friend's would be told our separation was because of their A.

I'm already blocked from her fb page, so slowed down off the bat, unfortunately. I had a friend get the list for me - no small feat for them either. Anyone she knows about who is connected to me, she has blocked. I want the messages to come from me, not a dummy account, so I will have to look everyone up individually.

I did Sildur's exposure from my account, I didn't want to log onto his FB. Fortunately for me his account was new (created during separation, PEGI is a FB pro)so he didn't have a huge number of friends like your OW.

Rainy I really think you should expose now while you have the benefit of WH being away. Each day you delay is shortening his "cool down" time before he returns. The longer you take the more anxiety you face.

I know it is a huge task, but trust me, I've been there you will feel a sense of relief once you've exposed. You will feel empowered as you begin. Maybe you should start exposing OW first, this is easier because you don't have the emotional connection with her. You could face this as a strike against her. once you have exposed to her friends you will have the confidence to expose WH.

Give it ago, I'm here if you need the support. I will keep checking in.

Rainy, I exposed OW from my own account, so painstakingly had to search for each person. It does take time. I ended up messaging 190 or so out of 288. The key targets such as family and close friends, I also checked if they had email addresses on their FB info. A few did, so I also emailed them to ensure the message was received (given FB now puts messages in the other box).

I want to encourage you to get this exposure over with. As Happy points out, exposing is empowering. You are standing up for yourself, your family and your marriage. WH may not get it when in fog, but you are also standing up for him. The person who tries to remove the drink from the alcoholic's hand may get abuse at the time, but if they ever sober up and quit the addiction, they will know you did your best for them.

For me, exposure of OW helped my personal recovery. The response from OW or WH was irrelevant. I told people the truth. I didn't just roll over and let them convince others of the fantasy.

I suggest you stop trying to predict the response from exposure. Make yourself safe. With WH away, this is the best time.

Be strong.

Wow OW sounds like she's running scared

And so she should be - go get her

haha

How's your exposure going?

I'm still trying to make prioritized lists - didn't realize it would be so complicated without being able to get to her account. Wouldn't it be better to do it at night? Less likely to get shut down, and I can just keep going without kids interrupting?

What do you think, BH, if I can only get to OW's contacts, and WH's have to be the 2nd round of attack later on? Do I need to get them all at once? I wasn't planning on even hitting his, but now I'm trying to find out who's on his account that I didn't know about.

She has almost 400 people, so I'm sure it will take me hours just to get to as many of hers as possible.

I would do both of them at the same time. Just concentrate and her family and married people if you can't do all 400.

You don't have to do all 400 just enough to make a dent.

I love the nicknaming of the waywards idea. Makes it easier to cope, do what you have to do, separate who he used to be from who he has become. Indiegirl suggested it to me on my ancient post, but I never read it til now.

All I can think of is Pinnochio (may have to shorten it to Pinoke). The lies just keep coming, getting more and more ridiculous, as plain as the nose on his face at this point, so obvious I have to laugh sometimes. Sadly, he looks like a bigger idiot all the time. Plus, every time I look at him, I just see this puppet on strings that OW dances around to her delight, and the detriment of everyone else. He has this painted smile on his face, while she has his little wooden legs kicking his kids in the teeth. If only he could turn into a real man someday . . .

Oh, and the turning into a jack- er, donkey - can't forget that part:) Yes, I think that's it for me. Thanks, girls:) Made me laugh.

All rightie, working on it. Thanks.

Well, PInoke has taken every precaution apparently. Seems he wasn't lying (for once) when he said rodent (OW - I prefer the nickname for her too) was the only person on his fb account. He has blacked out everyone. I can't access him at all from a dummy account, and neither can anyone I know.

Guess I'll quit worrying about that. As I've said before, his friends all know, coworkers know, family knows. He, I, and OW all went to high school together, so exposure for her is pretty much exposure for him if we're going back to those people. Good enough. Don't know what else to do.

He isn't out of town. She's here instead. Not exposing until PO has been delivered.

I was feeling all empowered, and now I feel totally triggered. He always flies out Thursday night - I figured that had to be why he was so psycho to get the D signed, before he went to see OW for the weekend again. She must have come here instead - he wouldn't have been that panicked to get it done that night if he wasn't going to see her. Why does he bring that tramp here? He promised my kids he would keep her out of this state.

So he must have gotten my Plan B letter, but maybe not PO yet? Not sure. I tried to find out if the PO had been served, but can't until I can call the court on Monday from what I can tell.

WH just texted 17-yr-old son and told him to bring him the weed whacker - he wants it, we can't keep it. (Don't need it anyway, since he never finished his kids' yard). ??? What is his deal? Trying to get to me because of Plan B letter? Or really needs it (he might; he landscapes on the side). OW is here and that's why he won't communicate with me (I don't mean I want him to, it's just odd for him to handle it this way)? Maybe he got the PO, but son is listed in it, so he shouldn't be contacting him either. I really can't imagine him just honoring Plan B right off the bat so easily.

I am sooo ticked off ! At WH, OW, and myself.

Yes, I know, I'm already sucking at Plan B. I just want to pretend he died, and move on - I never want to have to see him, hear him, hear ABOUT him, nothing. Why can he not just move across the country and live with that vile creature instead of bringing her out here?

He is supposed to leave my kids alone too, dumb jerk.

Trying to manipulate and get my kids around her makes me FURIOUS. He keeps doing this, even though separation agreement specifically says he will keep her away from them. But S17 told me, "You know if I don't take it to him, he'll come over here and get ugly. I'm just taking it, Mom."

World's biggest manipulator. I cannot wait for exposure!!! GRRRRR!!! I just want him to get that stupid PO. And I want rodent out of this state first. Yuck.

I still think you expose today.
What is he and OW going to drive over to your house?

Then you call the cops on both of them. What a better way to end their weekend? In jail together.

You keep stalling. Do it already.

I'm scared, Brain.

Did you do this? What time did you start? Late night? Fewer people on?