Haven't had internet, just got caught up. You are doing fantastic! Your self-talk is great, taking the lows in stride with the highs, knowing what to expect, not letting it throw you.

Another thing about not letting WH see your dog is it might be hard on the dog to have him in/out of his life...confusing, and since you can explain it to him or prepare him, it might be best if you let him ride with the adjustments he's already made. (If your dog is a she instead of a he, sorry, am not sure of gender).

Thanks for the support! I haven't gotten so many replies lately, and I really appreciate you following my progress. Definitely need the support.

I've changed my mind about letting him see the dog. I'm too worried that he will take the dog so it would be better to be out of town camping with the dog if WH decides to show up. I just love that dog so very much. And the dog is a he.

You're going camping, correct?

So you will be out of town when he comes to visit, correct?

I'm planning to be out of town camping with the dog and hopefully with a friend as well but I haven't found any friends who want to come with yet.

My dork WH threatened to come take the dog too (from his kids). Forget that! The dog deserves better:) At least he knows how to be loyal, right? Have fun camping.

Comedies are good, laughter is the best medicine. Drama movies with stong female characters can be inspiring.

Books - depending on your taste, Joanne Harris author of Chocolat has a series of great books. Under the Tuscan Sun Francis Mayes; The Olive Grove Carol Drinkwater are great travel relocation stories. Light easy reading books rather than "heavy" books are good.

Baths with candles, relaxing music and a glass of wine is also a nice pampering treat.

Anything that makes you happy or provides a bit of pampering is good.

Thanks for the book recommendations! I will look into them. The bath with candles sounds nice with some classical music.

This is now Day 8 of Plan B and I've come to a new stage I believe.

I'm now feeling lonely and missing WH but in a different way. It feels different because it's not accompanied by the urge to take him back at all costs. It is inevitable that I will feel lonely for a while because I used to spend most of my free time with WH. I really wish it would hurry up and go away though. Spending time with friends helps but that sometimes is tough too because I can't talk to them the same way I could be completely free and relaxed with WH (most of the time). With friends I have to schedule time with them and I don't have the built in companion around to accompany me on my adventures.

This has made me eager to move on to someone else but I know I'm not ready for that yet. I've found myself daydreaming about who I could date in the future and then feeling an intense urge to contact my day dream date. I have resisted of course but I feel a bit depressed and kind of "stuck" at the moment. How do I deal with my over eager feelings? I don't want to have a revenge affair but it's a bit tempting when I'm lonely and day dreaming about other men.

Hoping,

Because you're in such a vulnerable place right now especially being separated and in Plan B you must do everything in your power to protect your Lovebank. You are Married still.

Do not let the thoughts linger. Do not hang out at places that guys could easily hit on you. Keep your boundaries tight.

Take this time to work on you. Do the things you've always wanted to but never had the opportunity.

Take cooking classes
Go to yoga or zumba
Write a novel?
Train for a race

Hoping, what you need to do is remind yourself that you are STILL MARRIED, and you are not able to date ATM. You wouldn't even be emotionally ready to date someone even if you were able to get a fast divorce.

Remember this, affairees ALWAYS AFFAIR DOWN. ALWAYS. You will wind up with someone worse than your WH.

If this person, who you have imagined dating, is real, and you know him, IRL, this tells you who you should stop being friends with. Someone who you shouldn't have ANY contact with, ever. He is dangerous to you and your marriage.

You don't want to become a wayward.

You are both right, thanks for the support. I've been having these new husband day dreams but I will try to stop myself from doing this. I will try to day dream about other things that I can now do with my new life.

Another weekend coming up and I am dreading it. Weekends are so lonely and hard. I'm trying to make plans with friends but they are not always available. Also most are married. I still feel ok hanging out with them but it's not the same as when I also had my WH in tow.

I made an appointment for a massage this weekend, that usually helps. Maybe I will do some retail therapy as well, but I feel I've been shopping too much since I began Plan B because it feels so good.

You've been separated for 3 months. What have you done on your weekends the past 3 months?

Good keep those thoughts on good things.

The last thing you need right now is a man. What's wrong with you and your dog going camping? My dog is my best companion! (Something I was told was a "red flag" from a couple of others. Whatever!) I've just learned to not count on others to make me happy, but to enjoy my singlehood as is.

Hoping it may be a good idea to reconnect with single girlfriends or take a class where you can meet people who share your interests (I'd pick something girly though, it'll help your boundaries)

I have new husband daydreams sometimes. I think its OK as long as its purely academic and not about a real person. Sometimes I think it'd be nice to go out dancing with a man, for example. So I make a mental note to put good dancer on my husband shopping list for the future. I also add it to my boundaries list - no dancing with men while I'm still married as its a way to meet my RC need.

You will be a bit lonely for having your needs met. But I would embrace that. It'll give you such a great grounding in really learning about yourself and what you want.

Update on my Plan B progress

I am about to reach week 2 of Plan B and I have not checked in for 5 days. I had a wonderful second weekend in Plan B: I spent Saturday at the beach with some girlfriends and my puppy, went running, and had a lovely day outdoors. It was a beautiful first beach day of the season and my girlfriends were lots of fun.

Sunday was not as good, felt a bit lonely because last year WH had come with to our mother's day hike and I went to the same state park with my parents this year. It was an ok day overall. I had a back massage when I returned from the hike and it was beautiful weather outside.

This week I have felt a vague sense of loneliness and sadness, much improved from the tortured depression and anxiety I was feeling before Plan B and the first few days of no contact. I saw my IC yesterday and we didn't have so much to talk about (!) A good sign. Today I am feeling pretty good and am at work.

I have still had new husband fantasies but I am trying not to daydream too much about this. I figure it is better than the maybe-everything-will-work-out-with-WH fantasies about him becoming an MB buff and us living happily ever after. I've been thinking about him much less now. He did change his phone over to his own account so I am happy I didn't have to cancel his phone and pay the $250 fee. Also happy that he is cooperating and not making my life miserable any more.

Good work! That's some flawless Plan Bing right there...

Thanks, I appreciate it! Plan B is amazing. I'm so glad you (and others) talked me into it.

You're doing great! I'm glad you had a good weekend, I've been wondering about you.

Just realize you are opening your life up to endless possibilities now...way better possibilities now that you aren't accepting what he doles out to you. Setting boundaries can be the most liberating thing!

Thanks Kay. I do feel that my life has now opened up to endless possibilities. For example, I don't have to move now! I can stay near my family and friends. This is a big thing for me and I'm very happy that my parents may be able to have close relationships with my future children. That was something I was very sad about in having to POJA where WH and I would live.

Having a bad day today.

This is 2 weeks in Plan B for me now.

Feeling sad, lonely and missing WH. He was my best friend and now I've lost my best friend. Not only did I lose him, but he hurt me more than I could have ever imagined when I put my life and vulnerability in his hands. I feel that there is a cloud over me today. I feel that I can't control the thoughts about him and even when I'm not thinking about him, he's there in the back of my mind reminding me of what we had together and what we won't ever have again.

I am at work, it has been a slow day and I have spent most of the day reading "The Power of Now," which I hope will help me. Has anyone else read this? So far it appears to be about "living in the now" and stopping negative, destructive thoughts. Seems pretty relavant to me but I think I have a ways to go before I can stop the hurtful thoughts. Thoughts of WH used to be positive and make me feel good before D-Day. Any comments on this?

That sounds like a great book for where you are at, and what you are feeling.

Do you have a rubber band around your wrist? Snap it everytime you start down memory lane. Remind yourself of what IS not what WAS.

That's not the definition of "best friend" in my book. Raise your standards!