AWESOME daughter! Can I borrow her for a couple days? Send her out there to shape things up at rodent's house? Good for her.

I have received word that rodent removed her Facebook post. "There are no words . . . thank you, friends, for knowing better and not believing such vicious lies."



I only hope everyone saw it first.

"Rainy is a horrible, vindictive, psychopath liar. I have no idea why she insists on torturing poor little me. Perhaps she's jealous - everyone wants to be a rodent, right? And of course all my adoring fans out there believe me . . . right?"

Oh they saw it, otherwise she would have no reason to remove it. I actually chuckle to myself when you call her rodent because she is certainly scurrying around like one now. I can almost picture it.

Again, awesome job! I doubt you'll ever forget this Memorial Day weekend. Try and have some fun with the rest of it with your kids. Lord knows you've earned it.

You didn't burn down your own house, but you burned theirs but good!

Congrats!

Hi Rainy, thanks for checking in on me on my thread, hadn't been posting the last few days haven't been the best. Yes I've posted about it as requested, should have relied on MB for support.... enough about that onto you.

I am so pleased that you have had such a great response to exposure. I really believe your evidence link has been a great help in that dept. I wish I had dated evidence to prove A prior to separation, that may have been helpful in my case. I think the link was a great strike against the A. It provides proof for those wanting evidence and saves you the grief of individual replies. Well done

Thanks, KA. Inspiring.

rainysweet:- A stirling piece of work on your side, if only more BS would do the same.

Sweet, happy, peaceful day today. Went to church, cleaned the kitchen, made a nice dinner for my family. DS19 came over, so all 4 children were here. He brought his girlfriend to meet me. (So glad he will do that!) Cooked a big ham, made homemade rolls that my kids love . . . and cinnamon rolls for dessert. Kids even helped clean the kitchen without being asked.

Plaque hanging on our wall caught my eye when I turned around after seeing DS19 off at the door: The love of a family is life's greatest blessing. So grateful for a beautiful day, and wonderful kids.

Hope you all have a great weekend!

Thanks, Xau!

So maybe you can help other BS who are scared to expose since you learned from your experience?

I've been trying to, Brain. If there's someone I could possibly help that I've missed, let me know! Hope you are well

Yes you have and we've noticed and thank you for that. You've done wonderful by paying it forward. Just glad to have another MB warrior help on the boards.

I'm doing well my friend and thanks for asking.

VET QUESTION:

I have a court hearing this week to get my permanent protective order to protect me and my children from wayward alien psycho. I'm sure pinoke will bring up the exposure website, messages, "slander," , etc.

I intend to begin with the simple statement that this affair has clearly driven him off the deep end, that I am done with threats and violence, and that I figured I had to stand up to the affair as well as him, if I ever hoped for anything to change. Hopefully that will be enough.

I know it's been said on here somewhere that you need to take full responsibility for exposure, not try to push it off on MB. Makes sense, of course. And I certainly don't want pinoke lurking around on here and coming after you all on his little wooden puppet legs.

But what I wondered is this: If the issue is pushed, or the judge is not understanding, do you think it would be appropriate for me to print off some of Dr. Harley's advice on exposure? Or maybe just take the SAA book with me? I would only show the direct advice of Dr. Harley, not mention MB at all, and only even do that if I felt like I had to in order to win my case. But if push comes to shove, it might help if I could show that a therapist and marriage expert recommended the course of action I had taken- that it wasn't just a psychotic vindictive episode.

Opinions appreciated in the next couple of days. Hearing is on Thursday, and I'm trying to get everything together.

If anyone thinks of it, pray for me that day . Would be wonderful if for some reason pinoke just didn't show - I would be sooo happy. Would it be wrong to pray for him to be stricken with violent stomach flu or have his car break down that day? I so don't want to see him. I am loving Plan B and po. I can breathe. I opened all the blinds and curtains today for the first time in 2 weeks. Ah, sunlight!

Thanks all,
Rainy

hi rainy. i'm no pro, but i'm a big believer in being proactive. i would print the website, have the originals too, and anything about Dr H you think would be appropriate (especially related to his PhD, results, etc (professional stuff), PLUS any other evidence you have of the affair (the FB messages, other photos, etc). paper, paper, paper! your WH can't raise any issue, really, because all you have done is told the TRUTH. and the truth has set you free, finally :O)

judges like people who are prepared. do you ever watch judge judy? whenever someone tries to bring up an issue, and there is no paper-proof, she tells them to forget it (in no uncertain terms). it's even better when they do and the OTHER person has proof to the contrary! what a chewing out the first person gets!

remember, calm, unruffled, and covered in proof (paperwork). i'll be thinking of you.

Thank you, Letty. All excellent advice.

Hi Rainy,

You have been doing amazingly well, it's great to read your thread and I find myself cheering you on a little bit more each day.

I am no vet but agree with lefty, the more prepared you are the better.

I would go far as advising you to also take copies of the emails of support you received from OW own sister and any other friends to show how badly she has effected your WH.

How does your 19 year old feel about supporting you in court or if intimidated by WH would he write a letter to the judge explaining the scary behaviour your WH had exhibited?? I know it's not particularly nice to involve the kids but they have all been dragged into this madness by your WH and your 19 year old could be helpful.

Be sure to bring up her influence on him withholding child support from you and that he continues to try to starve you and your children into submission, so you attacked the one thing that had influenced him to become violent, a danger to your children (be sure to bring up the car chase) and abusive.

Thank you, NB,

Those are good ideas, but I am a little worried about using them. I do hate to involve the kids, but you're right - he already has. DS19 is in a very bad spot. He's a very calm, steady, peace-loving kinda kid (complete opposite of dad). He's not afraid to work or stand up in what he believes in, played basketball in high school, he just isn't an aggressive personality.

He would HATE to do that, but he would if I told him I needed him to. (He would love it if his dad disappeared and he never had to see him again, he just hates the direct conflict with a man who's so psycho). He's always really struggled with his dad. Pinoke has always told him he's a wuss, etc. because he does not have that psychotic temper or "run over anyone you can to get what you want" mentality. He's a good, sweet, successful kid, outgoing, funny, lots of friends, everyone loves him, and it's always broken my heart how rotten his own dad is to him.

The problem is that his dad is kind of a big wig in a local government agency, and has influence, and conflict of interest with construction companies all over the area. Short story, DS19's own father got him fired from a decent job. DS19 is trying to work, go to school, live on his own, and support himself. He has some construction certifications, and that's the only industry at this point in his life where he can really make enough money to support himself until he gets through school.

He's well aware of his father's behavior, but doesn't live here and was not here to witness recent events.

He was actually working FOR his dad for a few weeks (which pinoke loves, knowing he has the kid under his thumb completely). He was forced into it when he lost the other job, and needed money. For this reason, he asked me not to list him on the PO. He had to communicate with his father to go to work and get paid, although he avoids it as much as possible. Pinoke tried to use him as an IM but I did shut that down - told him he has no obligation to his father, to communicate with him, anything, and to tell him that I said I refuse to communicate through our son, period. There's been no more of that.

DS19 finally got a new job, which pinoke could have helped him with long ago and would not - good that he got it all on his own though. It's not with an outside contractor who may fear his dad now, but it's with the actual agency his dad works for. A dept. he is not over, but bottom line is -he can probably get his own son fired again if he so chooses. And if DS19 stands up to him, he will so choose, almost assuredly. DS19 and I were both so grateful that he got this job as far out from under his dad as possible, but if he wants to go after him, he will.

As far as rodent's sister goes, she hates her sister and wants this to go down, but she didn't really want her to know she had communicated with me. She was nervous about sharing more information. The whole family has been hearing how I am such a psychotic b*tch, "emotionally unstable" etc. wife for 3 1/2 years now. They don't really believe much of anything she says, but she doesn't want to be thrown in a position that might make other family members angry with her.

So I feel like if I use either of those things, I'll be throwing my own child under the bus, as well as a woman who was kind and courageous enough to stand up and help me - I'll be kinda stabbing her in the back in return for her help. Make sense?

So I don't feel like I can morally use either of those options. Maybe I could ask her permission to use the fb messages she sent me, but I know she won't want me to. And the niece asked me not to even tell anyone she had communicated with me at all, including her own mother (the sister who helped me). She is only 19 too, and I feel an obligation to protect her.

Make sense?

I don't know if the judge will look at it, no minor children are allowed. But I think I may ask DD16 and DS12 to write letters saying why they fear their father and don't want to see him, just in case. They are the ones who really need the PO.

Thank you for your kind words and encouragement.

Rainy

Rainy, all you did was expose truth. There is no reason that everyone shouldn't know about the affair. What could possibly be wrong with exposing truth? That is just an admission that there is something wrong with what they are doing.

Even so, I agree with the others that you should go prepared just in case. I would take this article: http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8112_exposed.html

p.s. I don't think SAA has anything about exposure in it. They recently rewrote it to include exposure but I don't think it has been released yet.