And that you have rainy, what a warrior you have shown yourself to be

Now, after Thursday, retire from the battle and heal your wounds. Plan B for you, no more Plan B-ite me (although I loved that saying and think exposure is actually an important step for the healing of the BS, Plan A or B).

I hope you plan a fun weekend with your family. You deserve it.

mmm, it was over 25 years ago, but i had to have one w/my first husband, who was physically abusive. i just took all my evidence with me, including a completely written out statement of events and photos of bite marks, bruises, car dents and the like.

i didn't have any witnesses, though my sister-in-law witnessed the first event. [my MIL said i deserved it, and NO ONE believed that he was beating me, because he was "such a great guy!" - including my own family]. yes, i asked him to drop me off at his sister's so i could take her to college and enroll; that was such a terrible thing to do he punched me in the parking lot when he dropped me off. i shook and bled for the next 2 hours and his sister said NOTHING. he also once attacked me in front of a bank - kicking, screaming, punching, etc. not one person helped. i went straight to the PD by myself and they took a statement & photos.

if you're thinking that you don't have "enough" evidence, don't fret. my exh never hit me in the face - in fact, he preferred biting to hitting; more terrorizing. that didn't matter in the end. you don't need to be battered and torn to get a PO.

the court hearing took about 10 minutes; i said about 2 sentences. PO granted. i didn't have a lawyer. neither did he. if you think about worst-case scenarios, the worst thing he can do is deny he did it - that's it. what else can he say? the judge looks at your evidence: case closed. stay calm and controlled and stick to the facts. you'll be fine :O)

ps rainy, you need to link your thread in your sig line for all the new posters who need to learn how to expose!

Rainy, You have come such a long way, you must be proud of all you have achieved. You have done an amazing job of standing up for yourself and your children. You will do fine on Thursday, you have the confidence and strength to complete the final part of your protection plan. It will be great to have this behind you so you can focus on you and your children.

I don't know how to do that, Letty. Can you tell me how to do it? Would it be helpful to people? And thank you so much for sharing your story. That does make me feel a little better, just to have some idea.

Rainy,

I totally understand your position regarding your DS19. I would not ask him to do anything but tell the truth, if he is uncomfortable doing that i can truly understand and it was just a suggestion nothing more.

As far as the sister in law and niece go well at the end of the day you should be in plan B and not communicating any further with them or getting any info on what the POSOW or you WH are up to so submitting their emails will not effect that outcome, your in plan B so if they cut you off no big loss there as you should be cutting the communication out anyway.

As far as caring about what their opinion is of you, that really does not matter. Who cares if they believe your a psycho? Does their opinion effect your life in any way?? I would say that's a clear NO.

If either those two ladies had to throw you under the bus to save their children from an abusive and unstable WS I doubt very much they would stop to think long enough to remember your name never mind care what you think of them. Your safety and your kids safety has to come first and if the sister and niece care one bit about you they would not stop you from using emails they sent you to help you protect yourself. And I'm giving you this advice because I have had to reveal confidential emails from the OWs friends that were sent to me following exposure to her employment in order to protect further families from suffering at her hands (my FWH was married man Number 4 she had the grace to hook up with at the work place).

Also it is very important to get any evidence as to your WHs bipolar disorder and that he has infact stopped taking medication. Get a written Doctors report confirming the side effects of a patient discontinuing medication. Have you got any of his medical records?? Is he or has he ever been under the care of a psychiatrist? Can you be the psychiatrist to take the stand to testify as to the possible effects of your awh discontinuing his meds and the risk this poses?

As stated before this fact alone is very concerning, I have personal experience with several people who have bipolar and have seen the effects of them going off the meds, it's not pretty at all.

I have a very heartbreaking experience involving one of my close friends and her bipolar H that I will share once I got a second to spare.