First read, I thought you were telling us Rainy had the flu, or something.
And, you were praying for her health.



Oh ......

Prayers sent.

You're hilarious

Rainy - how did it go?

I won. No idea why I am sad. He brought a lawyer - that threw me. Wasn't expecting that at all. Guess I'd rather fight his lawyer than him, though. And I beat his darn lawyer. And he knows it. Can't do the "you're better with words" argument. Clearly he was shocked that I took it to trial (he had just barely retained the lawyer, who asked for more time to prepare his defense and tried to bully me into it), more shocked that I didn't give in when I saw he had a lawyer and I didn't. I've never stood up to him like this, never made him face the true consequences of his actions.

He brought a huge envelope filled with all the sweet cards, notes, photos of the kids - everything I've given him since he left home a year and a half ago, to show that I am not afraid of him, that I just want him back, that I am only a scorned wife who can't accept that he loves some rodent tramp. He didn't end up giving it all to the judge. He did give him my Plan B letter, and try to get him to make me take the website down. Just sad for me that he would take everything I did to try to love him and use it to break my heart more.

I was tough. I stood up to him. And I do feel good about it. My DS12 said he feels "happy that he doesn't have to worry about Dad anymore." Sad. I accidentally crossed paths with Pinoke later in the courthouse, after the trial. He was texting and laughing. Just lost his kids, and he's texting and laughing with a whore.

I guess I just feel sad that he's so gone. I hoped at least this might be a bucket of cold water in the face, but I guess not. That said, I know I did the right thing. My kids are better off without him. We all are. But I wish he had turned his life around instead.

Still no money from him. But we have peace.

I know it was God who won, not me. He was behind me. I am grateful.

So much gratitude for all the prayers and support from all of you. God bless you all.

Way to go, rainy! Super job!

And what did the judge say about the website?

Will your husband be forced to pay you support?

The judge said, "Sorry, not my jurisdiction." Sad that after he heard he lost his kids, his only reaction is, "Well, can you PLEASE get her to take down the website?" Not, "What will I do without my kids?" No surprise, but still sad.

No, he won't force him to pay. He said he would address the PO only, since we had a legal separation in place. That was a blessing, though, because he wouldn't listen to all the child visitation I miss my kids and am such a great dad vomit.

When my D is finalized in the next 3-4 weeks, my attorney will file with Recovery Services to go after the money. Already filled all the paperwork out, but D has to be final first. His attorney said he needs to come to get his tractor from my yard. Sent a message through IM that I will be happy to schedule that with the sheriff as soon as my child support/alimony deposit is made. We'll see.

Rainy, I am so glad to hear that things went your way today! I know that you are sad about how things have turned out in your life. But now you can focus on you and your kids. He is not worthy of you or them.

(((rainy)))

It's true, RQ. Thanks:)

Rainy, you've done what you need to do. It's not always pleasant, but it's necessary, and you are being the mother, adult, and even the wife that the old husband of yours would have wanted.

The pain you feel for him is pain he is trying to ignore and cover up. It will eat him up even if he doesn't want to admit it.

How sad for your kids...but how great for them, too. No matter how horrible pinoke is, you are amazing for them! Think how blessed this makes them!

One day, he may wake up. And he will have quite a hole to dig himself out of. Even if he never does, he will have missed out on so much. I know this makes you sad on his behalf, I feel that way for my STBXWH as well.

So...any good nurturing planned for yourself? And celebration of your victory? You should be proud of yourself for all that you've accomplished in the last couple of weeks, it's been awesome and inspiring!

rainy! i came home early today just to read your post! i am so proud of you!

you got what you needed. anything else is extraneous. remember, you're in PB. what he's doing (or not) is irrelevant. (though what a pity you ran into him/saw him after the hearing.)

i hope he ponies up with the support. if not, at least you don't have too long to wait.

you need to plan a celebratory weekend. not a "yay! we got rid of nasty old dad!" celebration, but a "our new life can start now" one.

you are awesome. now when are you going to update your sig line? :O)

Oh Rainy what an awesome victory!!!!

I am sorry I ever doubted the website now, as its clearly causing huge trouble and lots of fights in affairland

I know seeing him laughing and texting with the skank was hard and will haunt you - but you want that, you really do.

You want him to OD on her, get sick of her

Losing everything but his drug will turn him into a pure addict and make him rely on her for all the needs he needs met. She won't be up to the job, long term. The affair and his drug source will dry up that much faster when his expectations rise. He will blame her for all the sacrifices he's had to make. He will demand them in return.

Nobody knows what will happen, but you will always know you delivered deathly blows to this A in the most stunning way possible. You will never have to wonder if you could have done more.

And you have made it possible for you and the kids to heal in a darker Plan B! That is huge!

You are going to hurt for some time having seen affairland in all its ugliness up close.

After this you need to go dark and be especially nice to yourself.

Of course you are sad.

I am sad with and for you too.

But......you go girl.......you are nobody's doormat or bulleye for direct anger no more.

Too many sweet and encouraging posts to answer everyone - just thank you, all. He's getting horribly ugly over CS now - saying he has overpaid me (since I have been paying his bills - so DUMB of me). We verbally agreed on this, now he says he owes me no money. No idea how this will pan out even with Recovery Services involved. Thinks he's going to see the kids still, demanding parent time. He will try to make my life hell because I won the PO - I should have known. More validation that he is just an out of control addict, abusive psychopath now, I guess. Basically threatening to make my life hell until I take down the website, AND restore rodent's honor one way or another. I know it's hilarious, but too angry/sad/disappointed, whatever to laugh. I just wanted to go DARK. So dark, never think of him again.

I do have an attorney working on an alienation of affection case for me - so more prayers for that, please? Worked before, right? Hopefully that will be enough to squash them, get me support for my kids, and get them out of our lives once and for all.

What a sad thing that it can come to this. Heartbreaking and beyond.

I hope you are right, Indie, that I can get out of the middle of this so they can finish each other off and the affair can implode on itself.

I owe you all, but I'm too exhausted to read everyone's posts on their threads tonight. Hugs and prayers all around.

Too many sweet and encouraging posts to answer everyone - just thank you, all. He's getting horribly ugly over CS now - saying he has overpaid me (since I have been paying his bills - so DUMB of me). We verbally agreed on this, now he says he owes me no money. No idea how this will pan out even with Recovery Services involved. Thinks he's going to see the kids still, demanding parent time. He will try to make my life hell because I won the PO - I should have known. More validation that he is just an out of control addict, abusive psychopath now, I guess. Basically threatening to make my life hell until I take down the website, AND restore rodent's honor one way or another. I know it's hilarious, but too angry/sad/disappointed, whatever to laugh. I just wanted to go DARK. So dark, never think of him again.

I do have an attorney working on an alienation of affection case for me - so more prayers for that, please? Worked before, right? Hopefully that will be enough to squash them, get me support for my kids, and get them out of our lives once and for all.

What a sad thing that it can come to this. Heartbreaking and beyond.

I hope you are right, Indie, that I can get out of the middle of this so they can finish each other off and the affair can implode on itself.

I owe you all, but I'm too exhausted to read everyone's posts on their threads tonight. Hugs and prayers all around.

Rainy, just WOW. Think of how far you have come in so short a time. You are kicking a$*e!!!

Don't waste time thinking about WH's reaction at Court, texting and laughing. Anyone who is at Court for such a serious matter and is responding this way is to be pitied. And I have seen first hand a wayward (not my own) doing exactly the same, only to know that the reason for this is to mask the wayward descent and he77 they face.

Rest for now. You deserve some time to recoup after the last battle. Plan something lovely for you and the kids.

Try not to take his words too seriously right now. Think of him as the child having a tantrum and trying to get the last word. He is reacting because you are hitting your target!!! So rounds of applause. Know that everytime he tries to target you, it is because all is not rosy for him. If it was, why would he not just waltz off into the sunset with OW never to be seen or heard from again?

It is time for you to rest. Your solicitor can deal with this (I know, easier said then done) and try to focus on you and the kids.

Rainy, a fantastic outcome. Well done you must be so proud of what you have achieved. Your children will be proud that you stood up and protected them, you have given them the peace of mind and security that they can feel safe in their own home.

Even though you had a victory it is normal to feel sad that you have had to take this course of action. Try to focus on how much happier you and your children will be without the fear of his AO and voilent behaviour.

Enjoy your weekend you and the children deserve to celebrate.

Rainy, Indiegirl is exactly RIGHT. If you stay super dark and have your attorney do all the dirty work, they will not have you around to lovebust. See, as long as they have you to demonize, they don't have to focus on the horrendous problems in the affair. The affair will crumble fast once it is in the light of day and you aren't around as a distraction. The affair has thrived all this time on a certain level of secrecy in her life and now that is gone, gone, gone....

Your H has sacrificed SO MUCH for this affair so his expectations of HER will now go way up. And she is not about to leave her husband. When she fails to live up to your husbands high expectations, the lovebusting will start. He will start abusing HER instead of you. And he will abuse her much worse than he ever did you. The reason is because theirs is a renters relationship. They believe in sacrifice and when the score is not settled, they resort to abusive demands to get what they want. 90% of all domestic assault happens in either shack up situations or marriages that began that way. They are renters relationships and they are very abusive. THAT is where this affair is headed now that it has been exposed.

SusieQ is separated from her husband and he is living with his OW. She has evidence that he is terribly abusive to the OW and they have huge screaming fights and altercations. Susie can hardly believe that is her husband because he NEVER spoke to her like when they were together.

But the only thing you have to focus on is staying dark as night. You will feel better than you have in years in a few weeks. I would not be surprised if you have some degree of post traumatic stress disorder.

Rainy, maybe you're not ready to LOL at this, but I sure am!

Unless I am mistaken, your WH and OW/mole-rat have a history of making fun of OWH because he was so puppet-like and did whatever OW told him to do. You know that OW made her demands of what WH-puppet must do during the court proceedings. Your WH has relinquished his "pair" and now has the rodent's hand firmly up his puppet-rear-end!!! You can tell it is she and she alone who moves his mouth !!!

The other reason I like this turn of events so much is that his efforts make crystal clear of how they (both of them) view YOU .... as a giant, powerful ~THREAT~.
What could be better than YOU being in charge of OW's honor??? Not much, I'd say
The adulterous rodent and her hand-puppet have declared YOU in charge of HER honor !!!!
I bet you never knew how powerful you are. Somehow, you have become the mighty force that makes them break out in a cold sweat.

I could not think of a better position for you to be in. You, apparently, control her honor. Who'da'thunk'it ?

Thanks, Melody.

And you are hilarious, Pepper. It has been a rotten day, and I really needed that:) Love the photo.

Can you control something that doesn't exist? Imaginary pet monster maybe? I am pulling all the strings by keeping her imaginary honor on a leash?

I'm picturing her little pink princess castle on a cloud in the sky, and I hold the flaxen rope as if it were a helium balloon that will escape if I release my grip. Blip! Yeah, I like that. And she's running around with her plastic tiara askew, screeching at Pinoke while she rattles the little wooden box she's got his marbles locked away and rolling around in. Lovely. Thanks for the thought.

You are gonna be just fine rainy. Anytime Pinoke starts to threaten, picture skank shaking his marbles and know that is why he screams...