|
|
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 452
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 452 |
He told my IM he would be sending me the NC letter, so I unblocked him.
I think he will try to communicate with me now that he thinks he complied with my requirement.
My IM is in the ER (working) and I cannot communicate with her until later. So hopefully he will get the message not to communicate with me before he does try...
BS (me) 46
STBX WH 53
Married 2000
DS, 11; DS, 10
1st A: LT D-Day - 02/14/06
2nd A: D-Day - 12/21/11
Plan B since 1/17/12
Divorcing
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 581
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 581 |
It would be so hard for me not to have the IM reply back and CC the correct email address. Something like: I noticed a typo in the OW's email address and thougth I would corrected it for you  Just me, I'm sure its not the MB way.
Me -BS 40
Him - FWH 34 (dtl)
3 D-Days from 12/25/10 to 01/06/11
NC - 01/09/11
02/20/12 done beating my head on that wall.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
It would be so hard for me not to have the IM reply back and CC the correct email address. Something like: I noticed a typo in the OW's email address and thougth I would corrected it for you Just me, I'm sure its not the MB way.  That is so perfect! That is exactly what you should do, estrela!!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
still laughing!!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 581
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 581 |
It just popped into my head. I would love to see it done. The OW would have a copy of an email I'm sure he never wants her to see. She will kill him.
Me -BS 40
Him - FWH 34 (dtl)
3 D-Days from 12/25/10 to 01/06/11
NC - 01/09/11
02/20/12 done beating my head on that wall.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,477 Likes: 6
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,477 Likes: 6 |
It just popped into my head. I would love to see it done. The OW would have a copy of an email I'm sure he never wants her to see. She will kill him. I would've already done it. "Oh I noticed you had the wrong email address but I corrected it for you. Love you E ( with maybe a big )
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,179
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,179 |
You are nothing if not helpful. 
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb Neak's Story
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,477 Likes: 6
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,477 Likes: 6 |
You are nothing if not helpful. Exactly. Just need to help with the spelling errors. 
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 452
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 452 |
I thought about it and I think that's what I will do.
He might get out of this one though, since he sent the exact same e-mail to her on January (how did that work!) and he might say I am just re-sending it, but I might try it anyway...
BS (me) 46
STBX WH 53
Married 2000
DS, 11; DS, 10
1st A: LT D-Day - 02/14/06
2nd A: D-Day - 12/21/11
Plan B since 1/17/12
Divorcing
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240 |
He is resending the exact same email? WOW. What a JF(to quote Pep). Obviously, if it didn't stick before, why would he think that it would have any effect now? Estrela, you'll know when/if he is serious. These continued breaks are actually going to drain your LB quite quickly. Hang tough. 
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 581
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 581 |
When you reply or forward it should have a time stamp on when he sent it.
Me -BS 40
Him - FWH 34 (dtl)
3 D-Days from 12/25/10 to 01/06/11
NC - 01/09/11
02/20/12 done beating my head on that wall.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 1,709
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 1,709 |
Why not just send it yourself and tell her that WH has sent it to you to forward to her as part of your conditions to reconcile with him. Change the e-mail to her correct e-mail address and don't even mention it to WH. 
ME: BW
HIM: FWH
Married 18 yrs
DDay 09/2008 and 12/2008
Recovered
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 452
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 452 |
Thanks for the support and for lightening the mood.
Scotty - you are right, WH is quickly burning through my LB
BS (me) 46
STBX WH 53
Married 2000
DS, 11; DS, 10
1st A: LT D-Day - 02/14/06
2nd A: D-Day - 12/21/11
Plan B since 1/17/12
Divorcing
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Thanks for the support and for lightening the mood.
Scotty - you are right, WH is quickly burning through my LB Estrela, did you forward the no contact to the OW?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 452
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 452 |
No, I haven't. I am thinking about it.
The whole problem is that I wanted to see action from him. I wanted this to come from him, not from me.
I could have sent her the e-mails he sent me asking to come back, that he wanted to be with me forever, but I debated whether I want to have such an active role on his A, or I want to see him dealing with it by himself.
Does this make sense?
BS (me) 46
STBX WH 53
Married 2000
DS, 11; DS, 10
1st A: LT D-Day - 02/14/06
2nd A: D-Day - 12/21/11
Plan B since 1/17/12
Divorcing
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
No, I haven't. I am thinking about it.
The whole problem is that I wanted to see action from him. I wanted this to come from him, not from me.
I could have sent her the e-mails he sent me asking to come back, that he wanted to be with me forever, but I debated whether I want to have such an active role on his A, or I want to see him dealing with it by himself.
Does this make sense? Estrela, sending back that letter shows him you know he is not serious and he has been busted. It also causes great conflict in his affair. Yes, you do want him to deal with it, and one of the ways you do this is to show him you know he tried to trick you and you caught him. He will have to make it serious if he wants to get your attention.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
The whole problem is that I wanted to see action from him. I wanted this to come from him, not from me. You don't understand why we are telling you to send it to the OW. You are not doing it FOR HIM, you are telling him you KNOW he was not sincere because he fudged her email address. His no contact letter was obviously not sincere and you are just telling him you know this.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7 |
The whole problem is that I wanted to see action from him. I wanted this to come from him, not from me. Right. He's not sincere yet, so you're not seeing any action. So, you send the thing back RETURN TO SENDER and he gets the idea that you are not going to just roll over and accept this crap and that he can't get away with it any more. And you CC her, to boot, to cause trouble in the affair. She learns that despite what he may be telling her, he's still trying to keep you on the side, and she also gets to see what a liar he is. He gets the message, and you cause a little trouble in the affair, which is always good.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 452
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 452 |
I will send it now... just want to get away from them as much as I can...
BS (me) 46
STBX WH 53
Married 2000
DS, 11; DS, 10
1st A: LT D-Day - 02/14/06
2nd A: D-Day - 12/21/11
Plan B since 1/17/12
Divorcing
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650 |
Block all replies.
Lob the grenade and then shield.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
|
|
|
Moderated by Ariel, BerlinMB, Denali, Fordude, IrishGreen, MBeliever, MBsurvivor, MBSync, McLovin, Mizar, PhoenixMB, Toujours
|
1 members (NewEveryDay),
372
guests, and
43
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,623
Posts2,323,510
Members72,002
| |
Most Online3,224
May 9th, 2025
|
|
|
|
