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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 633
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 633 |
Throw him out and if he wants to fight you on it, HE can get the lawyer. Challenge hum and stand up for yourself. You can do this! Don't worry about the bills yet. Take one day at a time. Just don't let him hurt you anymore. And D, I am a wayward so I know all about the BS we tell ourselves and other people to make what we are doing seem right.
I'm not God, so I can't say for sure what would have happened IF my H would not have kicked my butt out of the house right away. I can tell you that it jolted me out of la la land and let me see how serious he was about the damage I had done. Show him that unless he shows you drastic change, you will not put up with him. Let him hire the lawyers but act as if you know your rights and that he will have to pay for the house even I'd HW is not in it.
Me (WS) Husband (BS)
DS - 15
DD -10
My D-day - 11/12/11
Today Me (BS) H (WS)
D-Day #2 01/14/12
I don't want to just survive my affair, I want to recover from it!
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357 |
We have a mortgage and I need him to agree to certain conditions, so I can't just kick him out. I know I should have, but I do have my concerns about finance, so that's why I can't be too pushy. I know this is a messy situation. Thanks for all your support! It means so much to me. You are both equally responsible for your mortgage. What conditions do you feel he needs to agree to? You most certainly can kick him out, that cretin. 
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,479 Likes: 6
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,479 Likes: 6 |
Hi another question. Besides mortgage and child support, he agreed to transfer the deed to me and pay a certain amount of cash to me as a compensation for my loss (even though how can he compensate me enough for my loss) within one year of the separation starting date by a series of payment. So if this is written into the separation agreement, he will be legally bound to pay me that amount no matter what, right? I have written in the separation agreement that this agreement will be incorporated into any final court decree. Will the judge make his/her own judgement and amend the agreement later on?
Thanks for any advice! You need to speak to a lawyer. Have you done this?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,463
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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,463 |
You need a lawyer yesterday! Google or call around...there are attorneys for low income people, which you are once he leave. I'd put the plan B letter in his suitcase stating if he leaves you consider yourselves separated. He will have to pay support from date of separation. I'm in a no fault state as well, but financial obligations stand regardless, and if you have a child together, you'll be qualifying for child support and spousal support. I wonder how much fun his life with skankola will be when he only has $ left over to eat hot dogs for dinner?!
After consulting an attorney, get the locks changed. Do you have parents, brother, BIL or someone close by that can help you? A neighbor?
The bills and house are of lesser importance than your sanity and peace of mind, and that of your child's. Get brave and just act! You should NOT take this kind of treatment!
Enacting life's lessons into positive change... .
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Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 16
Junior Member
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Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 16 |
Hello, thanks for all the information and encouragement! I will do some searches and talk to a lawyer tomorrow and see what exactly I can do and how to do it. Thanks again!
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Joined: May 2011
Posts: 1,428
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Joined: May 2011
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Glad to hear you taking action. Keep it up!
Post back here on how things go with the lawyer damw.
Me (BW): 35
Married 1999 with no kids, DDay July 2011, OC born September 2012, Divorce final November 2012.
WXH (Gollum) is corrupted by his A, and now forever bound to it.
Plan B has set me free.
"Mourn the man he was. Know the man he is."
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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,463
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Joined: Jun 2008
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Have you got an appt. yet? Keep us posted!
Enacting life's lessons into positive change... .
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