I totally agree! I was just clarifying that her BH does know about the A and the OC. She needs to be completely honest with her DH and I suspect he is feeling down because he suspects there is more.

Gotcha! Hopefully she has told him because the train is headed their way and they are sitting on the tracks!

This is an excellent read.
Conflict Avoidance is the kiss of death

How are you coming along, danvich??
opt

danvich, it appears you are not coming back. If that's the case then let me wish you well and say that you are still always welcome here. You may decide at a later date that you can get some support from us.

I do ask one thing however, if you run across this post. Please encourage (implore, if you will) your husband to come here and start a thread. He is liable to get some very very poor advice out there, people have good intentions, but nobody is really equipped to deal with this type of thing unless they really know what it's like. At least have him read my thread. Print it out if you need to, I just feel it would be helpful for him to know that others have walked this hell and come out the other side. I remember thinking there was nobody who could identify with how I was feeling at the time.

opt

danvich, did you tell your husband the truth about the OM's knowledge of your pregnancy? What is the latest with the OM?

How about an update and giving a refresher on your story?

"I had an affair with OM, and am now 18 weeks pregnant. My BH knows Im pregnant to the OM, and is willing to raise the child as his own."

Has your BH given a reason why he is willing?
Has BH asked or discussed with him the name on the BC?
Have you discussed who's name is to be on the BC with the OM?
Was the affair ended before you realized you were pregnant?

If so why tell the OM if you wanted to recover?
Doing that only leads to problems.

"My entire family think my husband is the father, and he doesnt object. We have one child together who is 11 years old, and we have been together for 12 years. The OM knows I am pregnant, however I told my BH that the OM doesnt know of the pregnancy."

It's just as wrong to withold the truth about the OC being their GC. As is would be to let a BH think that an OC was his.

"Im very worried as my pregnancy progresses because the OM wants to be in childs life,"

This means the affair is on going because you are still having contact with the OM. You are still lying to your BH.

"I still have feelings for this OM and I cant stand to do this to him, but it is killing my husband and I am willing to do anything for him to stay in the marriage."

Not having NC is why these feelings are not going away.

"I dont know if I should tell my husband that OM knows of the pregnancy, so OM can see child, or keep the child away from OM. OMs family know that I am pregnant."

Once your BH finds out your still lying he may just feel this was the straw that broke the camels back.

How does the OM family know? Have they met you?

"I am willing to do anything for my BH, he has proved he is the best dad, provider etc ever."

Except tell the truth.

"I want to hear from WW and how you and your BH coped during the pregnancy and after, because I feel quite alone in this pregnancy"

Hearing?
Unfortunately hearing is not the same as following the correct advice that has been posted.

"and Im not sure how my husband will react if it is a boy I am carrying, my BH and OM are the same race. I dont even know if Im going to put my husbands name or OM name on the birth certificate, or who the babys last names gunna be."

Unbelieveable, you want to stay married to your BH, have the OC carry the OM name, has BH raise the OC as his own and rub the affair in your BH's face for the next 18 years by having you and BH have contact with the OM.