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Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum
This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
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Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,389
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Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,389 |
Carol, A lot of people here have sought out marriage and invidual counseling or therapy. Do you understand what nearly all therapists have told the wayward spouse - SEPARATE, "find yourself", "take the time to think alone", which, for someone with such a history means "keep doing what you're doing except this time the spouse isn't even around to tell you to stop". I'm really not exaggerating, I wish I could think of the screen names off the top of my head but counselors and therapists, in general, are not here to help build your marriage. They want to talk talk talk talk talk but without any liability or expectations. If you need more 3rd party help, there is a Coaching Centre http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi7000_counsel.html
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,479 Likes: 6
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,479 Likes: 6 |
Please listen to these radio clip where the BW was blaming her WH's affair on a "midlife crisis". Dr. Harley explains, no it's not a midlife crisis and she is enabling the affair by being in denial. Radio clip midlife crisis isn't a reason for an affair Segment #2 Segment #3
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 1,232
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 1,232 |
i have gone the IC route, and it was the worst money we ever spent. and it lead to a false recovery, which was exceedingly painful. the best thing we ever did was coaching with SH (the best money we ever spent - less than the IC in total, and you don't need endless appts because the programme has a timeframe), and our marriage is finally in recovery. the best part is that *I* feel a lot better! having UA, getting your precise ENs met - all these things lead to marital recovery, because you, the BS, finally get to feel safe and cared for.
getting your H on board with MB really will boost your M. we don't get paid for saying that. it's simply the truth of our experiences. MB works. even my initially *very* reluctant H believes it now. the proof is in the pudding.
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