Oh. They travel together, as do the rest of the team.

Both carrot and stick.
Carrot and Stick of Plan A

This is your answer. Exposure doesn't have to go full nuke in some cases I guess. If all this is true about being one-sided on your wife's part then you take this proof to his BW tomorrow and you WILL kill this little fantasy right then and there.

And that is just fine. The goal here is not to garner public approval from crapwits but to end the affair. I don't agree that you should do a wide spread exposure, because while I think this is an EA, it seems to be it is a one sided crush. That is why I am suggesting you talk to the OM's wife and share the communications with her. Let her know that you believe your wife is in love with him and this is headed to a bad place.

And with your wife, I would demand she end all contact with the OM, even if that means she quit her hobby, or whatever it is they do together. You have to let her know this will lead to divorce if it doesn't stop.


She probably won't respond favorably at first, but once the fantasy begins to dissipate due to exposure, she will pay attention to your demands.

That will have to end if you want to stay married.

Call me stupid but before the last trip OM's wife and I took them out to a "Good Luck" dinner and waved goodbye yelling our good wishes as they drove away.

I won't blame you if you want to give up now.

Now this is before I had any concept of the principles followed here. But then again I didn't need them because my wife would never.......

YES I KNOW.

Believe me, we won't call you stupid!! Many of us practiced pisspoor boundaries in our marriages too. That is why we are here! You are in good company, my friend.

[/quote] And with your wife, I would demand she end all contact with the OM, even if that means she quit her hobby, or whatever it is they do together. You have to let her know this will lead to divorce if it doesn't stop.[/quote]

At this point her response might be "OK I accept your terms. should I file or will you.

I agree this must be done. I just want more control of the rest of the enviornment.

[/quote] She probably won't respond favorably at first, but once the fantasy begins to dissipate due to exposure, she will pay attention to your demands. [/quote]

This is the part I am concerned with. OF course OM's wife will go ballistic about this at first. I don't know that he won't apologize for some texts that might have gone a little too far and convince her that she has nothing to worry about.

And you tell her that you will be filing if this doesn't end. And you will be. Obviously you can't stay in a marriage and share you wife with another man.


He will try to explain it away but the OM's wife will be on high alert. And he may very well dump your wife if you create enough ruckus. You shouldn't be "concerned" about that, you should feel positive.

I don't know the actual definition of "Wayward". What is crossing over to wayward? Please point me to references.

Thank you again. I need to go and be fulfill some EN's

Read this.
How To Survive an Affair

Another.
How Do Affairs Begin?

I get the vibe that this affair may all be on her end and little to nothing on his end. He probably likes the attention she gives him but doesn�t have any intent of ruining his marriage over your wife, who is much older than him.

You can easily kill this. You need to do so by talking to OMW and let her know about the contact between your WW and her H. Tell her that you have no evidence that this is a PA, but the intent on your wife�s end is very clear in her communications with him. Give her some emails if she wants them.

This alone will kill the affair and he�ll likely cutoff all contact with your WW.

That being said: You have no kids with this woman. There are tons of great women in the world who wouldn�t do this or who have boundaries and morals. Why save things with this one especially given the fact that there are no kids in the picture?

HT
I think you need to wake up.
How many times has it been posted on these boards and others, that a betrayed spouse was in denial about a physical affair? Almost every case, where someone found evidence of a connection.
Heck, i was a huge denier that my ex would do such a destructive thing.
You need to keep snooping(go deeper), get your evidence and expose.
You have so many things set up for you on exposure that will work in your favor,(the OMW,their workplace, etc).
Has there been a success story about keeping exposure quiet and working to recovery? I dont think so.
Keep Plan A going strong.
Follow the advice about not revealing sources.
Follow advice from Melody

LostDad and NebDane....You both illustate my delemma perfectly. Some days I'm with you LD and on others I AM more awake and I know ND is right.

Fortunately, I now recognise that if LD turns out to be the Wise One, I still have ALOT of hard work to do.

You have a lot of hard work no matter what.

Well hopefully I won't need to find out for myself. See, the woman who I an trying to get back to is not the one I am currently dealing with. The real one does have solid moral comass, is overwhelmingly empathertic and carries a BIG heart.

Honestly Trying to get her back.