Ok thanks for the clarity. So you've exposed it. What about your kids? Have you told them?

Will your WW write a NCL? Can you send OM's BW here?

Wow, this pretty much stuns me, but I guess it shouldn't after all I've read on this board. I would still get OMBW give your WW and ring a ding and make her life hell. Don't make it easy for them.

I haven't told my kids, they are 5 and 2 and are with family right now during this mess. I asked my WW to write a NCL with me but she ran off, said she already wrote one. The text messages I found told me other wise.

At this point, my WW is moving into her new house. I might even help her because I can't stand her right now. We went to a Pastor yesterday that neither of us knew. He asked what I thought the problems in our marriage were. I told him communication and I wasn't touchy/feely. My WW agreed. He then asked her what my good qualities were. She said I cooked, cleaned, vacuumed, provided, took care of the kids, helped around the house, etc. The Pastor said "Sounds like a pretty good guy". My wife is just focusing on any bad thing she can find in me right now.

Why didn't you tell him about the third person in your marriage?

That is the problem.

Also please listen to this clip from Dr. Harley telling kids as young as 4.
I wanted to give you some links of what Dr. Harley says about telling the children.

Infidelity:The Lessons children learn
Exposure 101

Found a radio clip from Dr. Harley telling children even as young as 4.
The Harley's discuss telling the children even as young as 4 about the affair

sp, I would immediately file for divorce and go for full custody of your children. You've rolled over for your wife in every instance to allow her to proceed with setting up her life with OM. Don't let her take your children! I don't care if you 'can't stand her' right now - think long term. And don't help her do SQUAT. NOTHING. Let her move into her new house on her own (although I can guarantee you that her affair partner will be helping her, so your presence will probably not be welcome, anyway.)

She screwed you. She suckered you into signing documents you should NOT have signed. You lost a lot of leverage in doing so.

Bring out the big guns. Don't let her take the kids, too, unless you're comfortable with her bed-mate raising them as their father while you get to see them on the occasional weekend.

Here's some more clips on exposure.
Radio clip on exposure
Segment #2

Well, it's been a while since I've posted. My WW signed on her house and has moved out. She wouldn't write a NC letter with me so I can't even do step #1 with her. My neighbors, who have been helping me through this situation, confronted my WW on her affair and she just downplayed it and is totally in the fog. I haven't spoken to her in a week.

I was going to expose the affair on Facebook but, seriously, I was worried for my WW's mental health. She said some pretty messed up stuff that had me worried for her safety and her life. Right now the ball is in her court, although I am fine with a divorce and moving on. I am sick of being treated like crap.

I'm not real sure what to do next but I do have an appointment with a lawyer to at least set myself and my kids up for the worst. I am wondering with some of the texts and some of the stuff my WW spouse said (in front of myself and her best friend and some folks at work) if I could get either full custody or primary in joint?

Yes. Mental behavior affects custody. I just went through this. You need to document everything. Have you filed for divorce? Tell your lawyer you want a custody evaluation and Guardian Ad Litem for your kids.

Tape record all of your conversations with her.

Also you need to expose; your wife can't be any crazier than mine and I exposed!

You need to document EVERY time she is out of the home. That also affects custody and was one of 3 reasons I was awarded custody in
My case

HDW, she is out of the home...she bought her own house. I have exposed the affair to my family, her family, my friends, her friends, most of the people at church, the BW (who already knew but thought it was over), and a lot of my WW's coworkers. Thanks for the advice on custody.

Do you think you hit all primary targets in your exposure?

Did you tell your children?

I think I did hit all the primary targets. I haven't told the kids yet (5 and 2) because they are at Grandma's for the summer. Interesting thing just happened...I got a call from OM's BW. She said that they are working it out and she has full access to all of his passwords, social sites, phone, email. She said the my WW has sent plenty of crap to the OM but she intercepts it and deletes it.

She said she saw a disturbing one today talking about nothing to lose and wanting some closure between my WW and the OM. I told the BW to have the OM take it up with Human Resources at work and file a harassment claim. I told the BW she needs to have the OM write a NC letter and then deal with the harassment soon. Any thoughts or ideas on where to go from here?

Did you expose to HR?

Also can you send the BW here?

Please listen to this clip of the Harleys discussing the steps to take to recover from an affair.
Radio clip on steps to recover from an affair

Dr. H explains if they work together to expose to their workplace.

Does your WW work with OM? As long as there is any contact between the two, a NCL from OM to your WW will be utterly useless.

Since your WW is out of the house, I would strongly consider you moving into PB. Get it all prepared and then pull the trigger.