Thank you. If you are willing to post on my thread, it would be most helpful.

Just wanted to say thank you all for your posts. I am sorry not to have responded to all of them individually, but each and every one means a great deal to me. I'm having a very hard time finding words an thinking clearly today.

I am in bad shape today.

That's not surprising. We will be thinking of you tonight and tomorrow

Thanks indie.

AI, KNOW that we are all behind you. And, whatever the outcome tomorrow, you will get a lot of virtual hugs, and help to point you in the direction that will help you recover(either personally or maritally), in the quickest and least painful way possible. Although, while you're in it, it's going to seem like it is extremely painful, and taking FOREVER. But, we'll help you every step of the way.

I just couldn't stay away tonight, knowing that you would need some moral support. We're here for you, for whatever you need.

Thinking of you AI!

Thank you all, loveisachoice, scotland, TigerWes. The emotional support means a lot to me.

Today we filled out paperwork on the car, which I asked him to put in our joint names as part of my requirements to recover with him.

He called and made a consultation appointment with a lawyer regarding a post-nup protecting me in the event of future infidelity. That happens Friday.

He created an admin account on computer, where I will change the password and use it to put controls on the computers.

He found an app for the iPhones that allows you to locate the device on a map, so we can always ensure we know the other person is where they say they will be.

And none of this even matters if he fails the poly. If he passes, we're off to a good start. He is adamant that he will pass. I sure hope so. The psychological torture from seven weeks of non-stop lies makes it impossible for me to believe anything. But I have that shadow of hope.

I talked to my poly guy on the phone tonight. He told me that my questions sound like I got advice from a polygraph examiner.
That would be thanks to the awesome advice I've found here.

He also explained that the most accurate result I can get would be from a single issue test. We boiled it down to determining whether there has been any physical sexual contact during the course of our marriage that he hasn't disclosed to me.

I asked TRT he would react if I said that in a couple months, as soon as I could beg, borrow or steal the money, I will book a second poly where the single issue will be whether he has ever broken no contact since May 6th.

He said that I don't need to find money. He will pay for it. And he will book that test at the end of the appointment tomorrow.

So now we wait.
It's about twelve hours until I have results.
I have to try and get some sleep.

Keep praying for us, guys. It means a lot.
Thank you.

Thoughts and prayers coming your way! You sound a lot more grounded than you did just a day or two ago...good luck and try and rest well tonight, be at peace that you're doing all that you can.

ai, the waiting is hard. i hope you can get some sleep tonight. tomorrow is going to be a very hard day, no matter what. i am thinking of you, and hoping that you find peace.

no matter what, tomorrow is the first day of the next stage of your life. you are strong; you can do this.

{{{{{{ai}}}}}}

ps: i second, third, fourth staying away from TRTs thread. i wish he would stay off yours.

pps: i see you have started smoking again. i did too, a few months ago, due to the stress. argh! very quickly i was up to 2 packs/day. have cut back some (have too, very expensive here), but it's going to be even harder to give up this time around. maybe we can support each other with that goal :O)

I know the poly is happening so just wanted to give my support.

ditto

Thinking about you and praying for you. Hugs from Texas!!

AI, I had my 'poly day' yesterday and was a bundle of nerves all day. On a side note to worrying about my sitch, I kept thinking, poor AI has to go through this tomorrow and she has already been going through so much! So just want you to know I am thinking about you, stay busy today if possible while you wait for results. I am sure with 3 little ones that is not hard to do.

Thank you all! It really means a lot to have you folks thinking of me.

He passed the poly. And it only took seven weeks of psychological torture and me finally drawing a hard line for him to tell the truth.

I'm so glad he passed it. That was the best case secenario.

It sucks that in my life, the best case scenario is still a world of insane pain and a mountain of work to make anything better.

I hope he has the effort and willpower to start actually being a better man. He's sure expent enough energy PRETENDING to become a better man this past seven weeks.
I want to see the real deal.

What I was not looking for was complaints about how much his life will suck trying to change his behaviours, followed by an angry outburst about how much I suck for not being understanding and supporting HIM right now.

Nice.

I'm sorry to hear that AI. Remember, this polygraph is also for YOU to decide what to do after finding out the truth. The ball is still in your court to see if that "truth" bears any true remorse or responsibility for the future.

This is EXACTLY what I was talking about.
This is exactly why I will never live with my H should he lose his sobriety.
I refuse to invest myself, my time, my life making efforts FOR a grown man exibiting selfish/immature behaviors.

If this continues longer than a week, hoist the and make a plan to change the situation yourself. You know what I mean?

This sucks!

I suggest you start recording him when he's making these whining complaints.
Use your smart phone, or buy a cheap recorder.
Openly record him.
I'll tell you why later, but for now, your explanation is; "I want to make sure I remember this conversation verbatim."

Why am I not surprised?

That really isnt good enough.

You arent 'well' enough emotionally to put up with any lovebusting. Your lovebank is in the red as it is.

I thought Pep's advice of a week was generous after reading your post. If it was me, it would measured in hours. Plan A is too strenuous for your state of mind right now.

I was ready to drop by the end of my Plan A and I hadnt endured what you have.

If he isnt repentant, he needs to cool off in Plan B. Either a temporary or permanent one.