Did you send it?

If you sent the other emails, it would become about the OW. It isn't. Just dash this one off, quick and uncomplicated, block WH, and go on with your life.

Don't bog down.

I had some problems with hotmail, now solved.

So... I sent it. I replied all, added her correct e-mail address and re-blocked WH's e-mail.

I don't feel great. I think I also identified a fear that he will be upset and try to get back to me or through the kids.

Great! Identifying it is your first step to making sure it loses its power over you.

If he does use the kids, it isn't your fault. If he uses them at all, he would have found any excuse. If it hadn't been this, it would've been something else.

Let me give you another newsflash. He WILL be upset. But who cares? Certainly not the brilliant and beautiful Estrela resuming her life of destiny and colorful toenails!

What you just did doesn't have to make you feel great. It needed to be done, and you did it. What you should feel great about is knowing that you're beautiful and wonderful, and so worthwhile that God emptied heaven on your behalf. You are loved!

That's an irrational fear Estrela because he's the enemy and could do that on any given day anyway.

That's always a possibility. You should have all those potential dangers blocked legally and financially.

He's LESS likely to burn your bridges while fighting on the OWs front. But it can always happen

Newsflash: OW just came to talk to me. Yes, life and in person.

POSOW wanted to let me know she won't be involved in this situation, that he is lying to me, that my 11 years of M were all lies, that it is my fault that I keep taking him back.

I told her she's also been lied to, since he is the one trying to come back home (yes, she was surprised to hear that) and that she should have had a better judgment than getting involved with a married man, and that she put herself in this situation when deciding to get involved with a married man.

Well, that was pretty much it. She seems kinda pretty (not really my type) but wears a horrible scent and I am nauseated until now from it. Really nauseated.

Thanks, Neak!!!

Indie - thanks for the perspective!

What is she saying he lied to you about? And did she admit they are still together?

Yes, she said they had lunch together just today.

She said he had more As during our M that I know about, like he slept with an ex-gf 10 days before our wedding.

That's pretty much it, she seemed to know more, but I am not sure...

estrela, since he is lying to her too, I would now send her those emails. Send them to her and then block her. Let her know she is being played by a player. Doing so will be throwing a stink bomb into their affair.

I told her that, Mel, and I could see on her face that she understood that she's been lied too also.

I don't know if that will be enough to stop the A, but it might.

Just think of the fights it would cause! Because when she tells your husband that, he is just going to deny it. And she will have nothing to go on. If you send the emails he won't be able to deny it. estrela, this is the perfect opportunity to launch a stink bomb into their affair!

AWESOME

These OW are strange creatures.

She has no problem with her APs string of skanks in the time he was supposed to be married...

...But his wanting to be with his wife is shocking!

Estrela, send that skank ho a nice little email and include those emails with your husband asking to come home.

"Dear skanky, thanks for taking the time to see me today. I am sending along the emails in which my husband, WS, has begged to come home. He asked to come home again this week and promised to dump you with the good bye letter I forwarded today.

Since he is still seeing you, it's obvious he wants us both. Since I don't want anything to do with a cheater, I am going to step aside and let you have that "prize." I will warn you that you have to watch your back at every turn with a cheater. I will be holding out for better pickings, thank you. I will continue to inform you of his attempts to get me to take him back.
Best of luck to you!

Estrela"

Estrela. This is the only way to help your WH feel and face the consequences of his actions.

In this situation, I might consider exposing this continued deceit to his family as well.

(((hugs)))

What grace and class! Ya done good, girlie - that would be a rough situation for anybody, and you slam-dunked it.


This is your next step. A few hours ago, there was no need to send these. The OW changed all that with her visit. Give her as much as you can before going dark. (Because of course you shouldn't stay in regular contact with her or it will harm your own recovery.)

Those emails may or may not be the "last straw" for the A, but chances are good that, at the very least, they will make some serious foundational cracks that will prove fatal later.

Good for you!

Ladies - thanks for the advice in this Jerry Springerish situation.

I went to take kids to Kumon and my mom (who just arrive from Brazil for a 2-month visit) to supermarket, so got to computer only now.

In the meantime skank ho sent me the following message. Of course I would not let her have the last word (or give me marital advice) so please I need your wise advice on how to reply to her.

Mel - should I use the e-mail you sent me or do some changes? My brain is turning mushy from all that happened today so cannot think properly anymore...

Thanks!

Here it goes:

Estrela,
I appreciate your openness in speaking with me this afternoon. Please understand and be assured that going forward I have no desire or interest to continue a relationship with WH. Being involved in a relationship that involves such extreme levels of dishonesty and pain is something which I know you are all too familiar with. I empathize with your plight to maintain a family setting for your children. Personally, I feel the cost is too great, meaning your vulnerability to humiliation and sacrifice of self-worth. This is obviously something you will need to decide. Exercising self love and respect is the greatest example and gift we can give to a child. Don�t forgo this to maintain a marriage which from inception has been built on a lie.
I wish for you to find peace and happiness going forward.
SkankHo

Oh I would definitely send her the response Mel gave along with his letter.

She's second guessing her Relationship with him. Perfect timing to do this.

That is hilarious!! That skank is trying to persuade you to dump him and move on SO SHE CAN HAVE HIM. She is very passive aggressive and is pretending like she doesn't want him either to persuade you to dump him.

Dear Skanky, thank you so much for your thoughtful email. I can fully understand why you wouldn't want to continue a relationship with such a dishonest man. Especially one who has used you so dreadfully all these months.

I am attaching his emails that he has sent me over the past few months begging me to take him back. It was only after several such emails that I decided to give him another chance the last time. He asked to come home again this week and promised to dump you with the good bye letter I forwarded today.

I thought it was important that you see how deceptive he has been with you.

I wish you well and hope you have better luck with men in your future relationships.

Warm regards, Estrela