Hi Airheart<P>So glad I could help a bit. Maybe your W might want to have a chat sometime. Don't push it though. Sometimes it feels like we are drowning, saturated with so much emotion, it's so easy for it to surface and come out as anger / hurt /sadness simply because it's not far away. It's there with us all the time. I'm told it becomes less intense with time. I hope so. Sometimes I just feel so tired. It's so hard trying to heal a marriage, let alone cope with the feelings of being betrayed by the person who was your best friend. But I've learn't you have to work on both - heal the hurt, but work out why the affair happened in the first place. Means we all have to look at ourselves honestly, and accept responsibility for our contribution to it all. I reckon if a marriage can come out ok after everything that goes with an affair, for both partners, then it will be a far stronger marriage than ever before. Here's hoping :-)