Nothing justifies his DJs, Anointed, so I'm not defending him here.

But don't defend your IB. If he doesn't want you to eat out, don't eat out. He's not enthusiastic about it. Doesn't matter if it's $26 or $3. Don't do it unless you can negotiate and find a way to do it that he IS enthusiastic about.

How often do the affairs come up between you two?
How often do you think about them?
Maybe it's time to stop dwelling on mistakes of the past? You cannot recover if you dwell on the affairs.

Dr. Harley says just that what Prisca said.
Here Coping with infidelity:Restoring the Marital Relationship

Also try this.

Thanks Prisca.

I know we are watching our finances, but we do go out to eat sometimes. I guess that is why I didn't appreciate his response. It's not like he said, "I'd like it if you didn't eat out while I'm gone."

I don't like walking on eggshells.

Sometimes things are ok. Sometimes they are not.

We rarely discuss it anymore. It came up during Christmas because I wanted him to tell his family.

You'd have to ask him, but I don't bring it up very often at all.

I think that has been part of my recovery problem.

I did beat him up over it in the early years.

Then we moved on. Every once in a while through the years when I triggered I'd ask a question, he would answer, and then it would be dropped.

Remember the last time we discussed it, and I said I felt like Just Compensation was not done? As much as I try to sweep it under the rug, I still feel insecure. And I still want the transparency and the ability to talk about what happened to us.

I try to forget about needing the transparency. And then it comes back around again...9 years of me trying to get past it is not working.

I'm not bringing it up. I want to. It hurts him.

He has not done what I need him to do to help me recover.

I tried Firefox and reset my internet explorer. Still get the same.

I've seen several people with this issue in the last couple of weeks...it makes me wonder if the MB site has upgraded to a new version of JPlayer for the radio clips.

The common thread that I've seen (that can be fixed anyway) is Internet Explorer. I've not used IE on the MB site in years, but I just tried to load the clip in the above link....the player loads and info displays, but it does not automatically play like it should. I also can not click the play button to start the clip.

It loads perfectly in Firefox and Chrome. While this isn't a fix, I'd recommend installing a different browser (for more reasons that this).

https://www.google.com/intl/en/chrome/browser/

http://www.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/new/

Internet explorer has known issues in regards to viewing media .. especially if for any reason there is flash involved. I would download firefox and use that as your browser because i have had similar issues with IE when it comes to viewing media.

edit to fix my quote

maybe active x controls are not enabled.?

here is a link to figure out how to enable it if that is the case

http://www.ehow.com/how_7469961_enable-activex-browser.html

Anointed .. Your best bet is to update your flash player.

Flash needs to be 10+

Here the link to DL the latest version.

http://get.adobe.com/flashplayer/

It was my flashplayer. BH said that before, and when I tried it, it worked.

Thanks y'all

Here's a thread that I asked the IT guys.
Thread to help play radio clips

Y'all I guess I just still don't get it.

DH told me a few weeks ago that there would be a going away party for some co-workers. I've gone to these types of things before. I've also told him that I don't like it when he goes alone especially if it is at a bar.

Guess where he is right now.

He did tell me after he got there that it is a restaurant too, but I don't feel any better about it. He did say after he got there that I'm welcome to come if I want, but I'm not ready (i.e. don't look nice) and I have to cook dinner for the kids.

If he buys some drinks, isn't that the same as eating out? I thought we couldn't afford it.

I'm really frustrated.

Anointed, try this it helped Melodylane out the other night with a similar problem.

Install another browser and make it the default. Then if you want to, after a reboot switch the default back to current browser.

Or try this, either one may work.

open IE, click on tools/internet options/advanced and reset internet explorer. See if that gets you up and running

Thanks totally, I got it to work when I updated flashplayer.

So we had a disagreement tonight. I let him know that I didn't like the AO and SD last night and that I didn't like him going out with co-workers without me like he did tonight.

The truth is that any EP that has been put in place has been enforced by me. He may have been glad that I did it, but it has been a battle from day 1.

Tonight it was made clear to me that he is not enthusiastic about only going out when I go with him. He is not enthusiastic about me traveling with him. He is not enthusiastic about not hugging attractive females in our Bible study or when we are out.

He may do them, but he is not enthusiastic.

I think the lack of enthusiasm is where my insecurity comes in.

He asked me why I couldn't just accept him as he is. I told him that I used to accept him just as he was and he did the most horrible thing he could ever do to me.

I need the EP's to keep me feeling safe.

He left the room, and I am a sobbing mess.

If he had ever been wiling to do ANYTHING to help me maybe I wouldn't feel this way 9 years later.

Who cares if he isn't enthusiastic with *not* doing things, you aren't enthusiastic with him doing them!

Don't let his bullcrap games override the point, OK?

Keep sweeping your side of the street. Build a LB$ balance, and keep things short and sweet;

"I am not enthusastic about you going out without me."

Bang, zip, zoom. End of conversation. Until you are both enthusiastic, then NOTHING is done. That's how the PoJA works.

Thanks HHH.

I agree that is how PoJA works, but it doesn't work if he just does it anyway.

He went out with co-workers and was gone for 3.5 hrs. I told him I was uncomfortable with it, and he did it anyway.

No SF last night, but we did this morning. He said "I thought you were mad at me." I said, "Just hurt."

Then he told me that I'm the only one he wants.

That is fine, but I need the EPs in place. He is doing what he thinks is right despite my feelings, and it is really hurting me.