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no we just got back from swimming with the kids. we will soon. thank-you brain hurts. if he wont, at least i can on my own time. i will try to get to it very soon. i will write more in the morning. that is usually the only time i spend on the computer.
thank-you.
me 37
him 40
kids, dd 18, ds 12, and ds 10
together as man and wife as 13 years, but recently legally married and bought a house. i hope this means we're finally buyers! affairs his- emotional and physical 2002 to 2007 and porn. recovering. still got some issues. we want an amzing, loving marriage to last a lifetime! well, i know i do, at least
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well, i dont think disrespecting him is going to help. i think that is a lovebuster the way you are treating him mamasita, Markos is not trying to fill your husband's lovebank, though. I think your husband needs to hear how silly and childish he appears to other adults, hence the much needed 2x4. Markos is simply expressing his reaction to your husbands behavior. Your husband needs to hear what Markos said.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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him talking to me and our kids in the disrespectful way you are- you called him silly and childish- is exactly what i want to change! and if he sees you do it, i dont know why he should think it is wrong. also, i know i wouldnt be motivated to participate in a forum where people treated me like this. and i want him to come here. i dont see how this is helping. i know im no expert, but i am pretty sure i can see a disrespectful judgement- and especcially things like "oh poor baby"...if he said that to me i would consider it very disrespectful. this is how i feel about it. i have looked up to you guys to teach me how to stop this behavior for a long time. please treat my husband respectfully. i think he has a point about you guys encouraging me to badmouth him like some friends would. i know you are right about the ao's, just please consider that i want to learn how to end disrespect not continue it and so make it justified.
me 37
him 40
kids, dd 18, ds 12, and ds 10
together as man and wife as 13 years, but recently legally married and bought a house. i hope this means we're finally buyers! affairs his- emotional and physical 2002 to 2007 and porn. recovering. still got some issues. we want an amzing, loving marriage to last a lifetime! well, i know i do, at least
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my husband always says "he is just expressing his views" all the time too. its no justification for anger and disrespect. i know there is a better way. i have seen it here!
me 37
him 40
kids, dd 18, ds 12, and ds 10
together as man and wife as 13 years, but recently legally married and bought a house. i hope this means we're finally buyers! affairs his- emotional and physical 2002 to 2007 and porn. recovering. still got some issues. we want an amzing, loving marriage to last a lifetime! well, i know i do, at least
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no 2x4's for me please. i deserve respect with my family and people i choose to let near me. this is one of the places i learned that! please respect me in this.
me 37
him 40
kids, dd 18, ds 12, and ds 10
together as man and wife as 13 years, but recently legally married and bought a house. i hope this means we're finally buyers! affairs his- emotional and physical 2002 to 2007 and porn. recovering. still got some issues. we want an amzing, loving marriage to last a lifetime! well, i know i do, at least
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The posts were intended for your husband. He very much needs to hear it. You might coddle your husband, but folks here are not obliged to coddle him too. That is not helpful.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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telling me i am coddling him is a disrespectful judgement. he has not read any of this stuff today. I am offended. this is my thread. of course i read it.
me 37
him 40
kids, dd 18, ds 12, and ds 10
together as man and wife as 13 years, but recently legally married and bought a house. i hope this means we're finally buyers! affairs his- emotional and physical 2002 to 2007 and porn. recovering. still got some issues. we want an amzing, loving marriage to last a lifetime! well, i know i do, at least
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i assure you i do not. as i said, i defintiely have my share of disrespectful judgements.
me 37
him 40
kids, dd 18, ds 12, and ds 10
together as man and wife as 13 years, but recently legally married and bought a house. i hope this means we're finally buyers! affairs his- emotional and physical 2002 to 2007 and porn. recovering. still got some issues. we want an amzing, loving marriage to last a lifetime! well, i know i do, at least
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i am pretty assertive about how i feel.
me 37
him 40
kids, dd 18, ds 12, and ds 10
together as man and wife as 13 years, but recently legally married and bought a house. i hope this means we're finally buyers! affairs his- emotional and physical 2002 to 2007 and porn. recovering. still got some issues. we want an amzing, loving marriage to last a lifetime! well, i know i do, at least
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Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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telling me i am coddling him is a disrespectful judgement. he has not read any of this stuff today. I am offended. this is my thread. of course i read it. It is offensive - and a disrespectful judgement - to dictate to other posters how they should post. You do realize this, right? So if you are going to demand that others avoid lovebusters with you, even though they are not married to you, then you have to follow that same principle.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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i am pretty assertive about how i feel. So is Markos.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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i dont think he would even want to read this and he will just write you all off as jerks. please dont give him this oppurtunity.
2 wrongs dont make it right. i know you can say it with out disrespect.
me 37
him 40
kids, dd 18, ds 12, and ds 10
together as man and wife as 13 years, but recently legally married and bought a house. i hope this means we're finally buyers! affairs his- emotional and physical 2002 to 2007 and porn. recovering. still got some issues. we want an amzing, loving marriage to last a lifetime! well, i know i do, at least
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i am not telling you what to write, i am just telling you i feel disrespected by you. you can say what you want, but i might not like it. especially if it doesnt take how i feel into consideration. i came here to stop disrespect not to get more of it. i do not coddle my husband. o f course you can say what you want, but i can tell you i dont agree and dont like to be talked to like that.
me 37
him 40
kids, dd 18, ds 12, and ds 10
together as man and wife as 13 years, but recently legally married and bought a house. i hope this means we're finally buyers! affairs his- emotional and physical 2002 to 2007 and porn. recovering. still got some issues. we want an amzing, loving marriage to last a lifetime! well, i know i do, at least
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Why not stop trying to protect your husband like he is a child? He is a grown man who handle it, I suspect. Again, it is disrespectful of YOU to tell other posters how to post. You should practice what you preach, don't you think? You are doing exactly as Dr Harley describes here: "A disrespectful judgment occurs whenever one spouse tries to impose a system of values and beliefs on the other. When a husband tries to force his point of view on his wife, he's just asking for trouble. When a wife assumes that her own views are right and her husband is woefully misguided -- and tells him so -- she enters a minefield."
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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i am not telling you what to write, i am just telling you i feel disrespected by you. you can say what you want, but i might not like it. That is good that you aren't telling others how to post. Because that would be very disrespectful.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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mama, it is also very disrespectful of you to assume that your husband is too childish to endure the posts from Markos. I seriously doubt your husband needs your protection. Let him defend himself if he feels he needs to be defended. He is a big boy.
And if your husband leaves because someone says something unpleasant to him, then that is proof he is not serious. A person who is serious about recovering their marriage could not be run off by wild horses.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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being assertive is a good thing. but i think markos stepped over the line with the poor baby comments and cry me a river and big bad boy. that is just disrespect. i wouldnt want my husband to talk that way to me and i feel you all doing it will just help him justify doing it to me. this is exactly how he usually verbally and emotionally abuses ME. and i am sure i sometime scoop it back when he wont back down.
i think my husband agreeing to allow me to walk away when i get upset is a HUGE step. also that he said he would leave if it happened again. its not easy for him. but i can see him try to control his grumpy temper today and yesterday.
i am so glad he didnt leave! it really wasnt warranted. i dont think the cops would have took him for what he did. it was all verbal. a temporary break- not a free night at a hotel- is more what i would have liked to see out of the situation. he needed to go calm down, not be sent off to have a night out like a single man. but telling him he had to stop it, or we would separate or ultimately divorce was something he HAD to hear. that is not a disrespectful judgement. it is a statement of my boundaries. but if i had called him a lazy jerk....get to work...dj and selfish demands. how would this elimate them?
me 37
him 40
kids, dd 18, ds 12, and ds 10
together as man and wife as 13 years, but recently legally married and bought a house. i hope this means we're finally buyers! affairs his- emotional and physical 2002 to 2007 and porn. recovering. still got some issues. we want an amzing, loving marriage to last a lifetime! well, i know i do, at least
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i said I was offended. that is my right. are you trying to offend me ? seems like. i am not trying to lecture you on how to behave, i am stating opinions i learned in dr. harleys own writings, which i take very seriously.
why would my husband choose this source when you are deliberately rude to him and me? there are other marriage sites. i think this is the best, but sometimes the forums dont seem to follow their own good advice. i am sorry. i am angry. i should not write anymore now. life calls. i will write more in the morning when i am calmed down. sorry if i was rude. i am trying hard to say how i feel about this.
me 37
him 40
kids, dd 18, ds 12, and ds 10
together as man and wife as 13 years, but recently legally married and bought a house. i hope this means we're finally buyers! affairs his- emotional and physical 2002 to 2007 and porn. recovering. still got some issues. we want an amzing, loving marriage to last a lifetime! well, i know i do, at least
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and i am definitely not assuming my husband cant take the remarks, he can. he considers this kind of "motivation" acceptable. he probably can dish it back too. but that is not how i want us to live anymore. we are trying to learn a better way. i do not want him to put with abuse anymore than i want to put up with it myself. please be respectful; to my husband or i will leave
me 37
him 40
kids, dd 18, ds 12, and ds 10
together as man and wife as 13 years, but recently legally married and bought a house. i hope this means we're finally buyers! affairs his- emotional and physical 2002 to 2007 and porn. recovering. still got some issues. we want an amzing, loving marriage to last a lifetime! well, i know i do, at least
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Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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. it is a statement of my boundaries. but if i had called him a lazy jerk....get to work...dj and selfish demands. how would this elimate them? How does this apply to Markos, though? You do know that Markos is not married to him, right? Surely you realize that the principles you follow in marriage do not apply to others? Other people are not trying to fill your husbands lovebank, after all. And once again, you are not following your own professed principles by trying to tell Markos how to post. Did you read this? A disrespectful judgment occurs whenever one spouse tries to impose a system of values and beliefs on the other. When a husband tries to force his point of view on his wife, he's just asking for trouble. When a wife assumes that her own views are right and her husband is woefully misguided -- and tells him so -- she enters a minefield. You are doing exactly that. So, if you insist that others practice these principles with you, then you must practice those principles with THEM.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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